【導(dǎo)讀】嘿，看看這個(gè)，這真不可思議。沒錯(cuò)，Ross，我們知道他們的雜志里有女人裸體的照片。不要告訴他關(guān)于錄像的事！我把我編的笑話,寄給《花花公子》，他們竟然登出來(lái)了！有力的新聞，并不只是那些照片。反正不會(huì)說(shuō)服媽媽看，我們也不看。瞧這，頭一條就是我的。很有趣，更有趣的是，這笑話是我編的。我在上班的時(shí)候把它講給Dan，他說(shuō)這是他聽過(guò)的最好的笑話。嘿，替我謝謝Dan。對(duì)不起，我在看下面那則笑話，啊，它真搞笑。但是，嘿，他們沒有印我的名字，也許這讓你好過(guò)一點(diǎn)。所以究竟該歸功于誰(shuí)并不重要，對(duì)吧？你可以給他們打電話，他們會(huì)告訴你的。你們肯定知道里面有裸體小妞，對(duì)吧？breakup:(樂隊(duì))解散【BehindtheMusic,VH1：錢德勒要到喬伊這里來(lái)看電視，因?yàn)槟峥ㄒ?。看烹調(diào)節(jié)目，而他想看VH1臺(tái)的《音樂的背后》節(jié)目。不行，Monica在看烹飪節(jié)目。快，我可不想錯(cuò)過(guò)第一手消息

　　

【正文】 a baby. Okay, let?s go. 只有我才能幫你生寶寶。我們開始吧 . Ross: We?ll each tell you how we came up with the joke and then you decide which one of us is telling the truth—me. 我們將分別向你陳述我們編笑話的過(guò)程，由你來(lái)判斷究竟誰(shuí)說(shuō)的是實(shí)話。是我。 Monica: Okay, Chandler, you go first. 好的， Chandler,你先說(shuō)。 Chandler: Okay, I thought of the joke two months ago at lunch with Steve. 我在兩個(gè)月前和 Steve 吃午飯的時(shí)候想到的這個(gè)笑話。 Monica: Oh, wait, is he the guy I met at Christmas? 等一下，就是我在圣誕節(jié)見到的那個(gè)家伙？ Chandler: Can I finish my story?! 能讓我先說(shuō)完嗎？！ Monica: Do you want me to pick you?! 你還想讓我挑你嗎？ Ross: See, I would never snap at you like that. snap at: 厲聲說(shuō) snap at sb: 多某人很兇 瞧，我是絕對(duì)不會(huì)象他那樣對(duì)你吼的。 (Chandler motions to Monica that he?ll give her two babies.) Monica: Continue. 繼續(xù)。 Chandler: So Steve said he had to go to the doctor. And Steve?s doctor?s name is Doctor Homey. Steve 說(shuō)他得去看他的醫(yī)生。他的名字是 Muppy 醫(yī)生。 So I said, ?Doctor Monkey?? And that is how the whole Doctor Monkey thing came up. (He slams his feet up on the table to emphasize his point.) slam: 砰地關(guān)上 emphasize:強(qiáng)調(diào) 然后我說(shuō) Monkey（猴子）醫(yī)生？這就是猴子醫(yī)生的由來(lái)。 Ross: Are you kidding? Okay, look. II studied evolution. Remember, evolution? evolution：進(jìn)化 開什么玩笑。聽我說(shuō)，我是研究進(jìn)化學(xué)的，知道進(jìn)化學(xué)是什么？ Monkey into man? Plus, I?m a doctor, 猴子變成人。另外我也是個(gè) doctor(博士 ,與醫(yī)生同詞 ), And I had a monkey. I?m Doctor Monkey! 并且我養(yǎng)過(guò)一只猴子。我正是 Doctor Monkey（猴子博士） Chandler: I?m not arguing with that. 這個(gè)我不跟你爭(zhēng)。 Monica: All right, I?ve heard enough. I?ve made my decision. 行了，我聽夠了。我已經(jīng)做出了判斷。 (Both Chandler and Ross are eager to hear her decision.) be eager to do: 渴望做某事 Monica: You are both idiots. The joke is not funny, 你們兩個(gè)都是白癡。這笑話一點(diǎn)也不好笑， And it?s offensive to women, and doctors, and monkeys! offensive：侮辱的，冒犯的 而且它冒犯了女士、醫(yī)生（博士）和猴子。 You shouldn?t be arguing over who gets credit, you should be arguing over who gets blamed for inflicting this horrible joke upon the world! argue over: 辯論某事 inflict: 使遭受 (損傷等 ) 加以 (處罰或判刑 ) 別再爭(zhēng)功了，看看是誰(shuí)編造了這個(gè)愚蠢笑話 ，他應(yīng)該受到譴責(zé)！ Now let it go! The joke sucks! 別再提這事了，這笑話糟透了！ Ross: It?s your joke. 這是你的笑話。 Chandler: Is not. 不是。 [Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is sitting at a table and Phoebe is on the couch. Chandler and Monica can be seen outside, she?s lecturing him, and pushes him inside. He then nods to Rachel, and is obviously counting off the seconds in his head and then Monica makes a grand enterance.] lecture:訓(xùn)話告誡 grand: 重大的 enterance: 進(jìn)入 Monica: Hi, Chandler. There you are. 嗨 , 。 Chandler: Hi, oh hi. 嗨。 Monica: Hey, it?s Phoebe and Rachel. Phoebe 和 Rachel在這。 Um, why don?t you tell them what you were telling me earlier about me not being high maintenance? (Rachel and Phoebe exchange looks.) 干嗎不對(duì)她們說(shuō)說(shuō)你之前對(duì)我說(shuō)的那些話，就是關(guān)于說(shuō)我根本不挑剔的。 Chandler: (starts to recite a rehearsed speech) Monica is a selfsufficient, together lady. rehearsed speech: 排練好的講話 selfsufficient: 自力更生 together 口 沉著穩(wěn)定的 together lady: 俚 合群的 Monica 是位自立的、合群的女士， (Pause.) Being with her has been like being on a vacation. vacation: 假期 和她在一起感覺 象在渡假。 And what may be perceived as high maintenance is merely attention to detail and—(He falters and Monica prompts him.)—generosity of spirit. be perceived as: 被認(rèn)為是 falter: (聲音 )顫抖猶豫畏縮支吾 prompt: 催促 generosity: 慷慨大方 之所以我們會(huì)覺得她挑剔僅僅是因?yàn)樗⒅匦」?jié)，并且 寬宏大量。 Rachel: Wow, you know what? That is the best fake speech I think I?ve ever heard. fake: 假的 哇，知道嗎？這是我聽過(guò)最好的冒牌演講。 Phoebe: Really? I?ve heard better. 是嗎？我可聽過(guò)更好的。 Monica: Wait, wait, he came up with that himself. Tell them, Chandler. e up with: 想出，提出 等一下，這都是 他自己主動(dòng)要說(shuō)的。告訴他們 Chandler. Chandler: (To Chandler) I?m out of words. Should I just say the whole thing again? out of words: 沒詞了 我忘詞了，要不我從頭說(shuō)一遍？ Monica: Look, I am not high maintenance. I am not. Chandler! 聽著，我根本就不挑剔。 Chandler! Chandler: (pauses as he struggles with what he has to say) You?re a little high maintenance. struggle: 掙扎 你是有那么點(diǎn)挑剔。 Monica: Ahhh! You are on my list. 啊哈！你上了我的黑名單。 Chandler: I?m sorry. You?re not easygoing, but you?re passionate, and that?s good. passionate：熱情的 很抱歉，你并不隨和，但你充滿熱情，那樣 很好。 And when you get upset about the little things, 當(dāng)你因?yàn)樾∈律鷼獾臅r(shí)候， I think that I?m pretty good at making you feel better about that. And that?s good too. 我會(huì)恰如其分地幫你排解。那樣也很好。 So, they can say that you?re high maintenance, 所以，別人可以說(shuō)你很挑剔， But it?s okay, because I like … maintaining you. (a little bit enchanted by his sweet words ) enchant: 使迷惑 但那沒什么，因?yàn)槲蚁矚g讓你挑剔。 Monica: (embarrassed) (To Phoebe and Rachel) I didn?t even tell him to say that. 我可沒讓他說(shuō)這些。 (They hug). All right you?re off my list. 好吧我把你從黑名單上撤下來(lái)。 Chandler: (happily) I?m off the list. (Sits on the couch.) 我不在那名單上了。 Monica: (sits next to him) Phoebe, it?s okay that you don?t want me to be your girlfriend because I have the best boyfriend. Phoebe，不讓我做你女朋友沒關(guān)系，因?yàn)槲矣凶詈玫哪信笥选? Phoebe: (to Monica) Y?know, suddenly I find you very attractive. attractive: 吸引人的 知道嗎？我突然覺得你很迷人。 (Joey enters.) Chandler: Hey, buddy boy, how?d the audition go? 嘿，伙計(jì)，你的試鏡怎么樣？ Joey: Not good, no. I didn?t get the part, and I lost my job here, so … 不怎么樣。我沒拿到那個(gè)角色，還丟了在這的工作。 Phoebe: Wow! That is a bad audition. 哇！你現(xiàn)在演的是很爛。 Rachel: Howhow did you lose your job here? 你怎么會(huì)丟了這的工作？ Joey: Well, I had the audition but Gunther said I had to stay here and be in charge so he could go get his hair dyed. 我要去試鏡，可 Gunther 說(shuō)我得留在這照顧生意，因?yàn)樗ト绢^發(fā)。 So, I went anyway, and then he fired me. fire: 解雇 我最終還是跑了，然后他就炒了我。 Rachel: He left work in the middle of the day to do a personal errand and left you in charge when you?ve been working here two days? errand: 差使 personal errand: 私事 他大白天跑出去忙私事，然后把你一個(gè)剛工作兩天的 員工留在這里照顧生意？ That?s not, that?s not right. 這不對(duì)，他做的不對(duì)。 Joey: Yeah, what are ya gonna do? 就是，你能怎么辦？ Rachel: Joey, you can?t let him get away with th