【正文】 t?What?Lunch is going to get married?It’s impossible!ABamp。C:Why?A pretty girl and a rich man,what a good couple!焦仲卿Johnny:But Lunch is my wife!We haven’t got divorced yet!(突然有了主意)I’ve got an idea!You are going to rob the wedding,don’tyou?I’ll go with take the money and I take the :Have you got any experience? 焦仲卿Johnny: I’ve got this!(J脫下鞋子從里面摸出一張支票，上書(shū)＄1，000，000)Act5(轉(zhuǎn)眼已到了婚禮之期．太守之子意氣風(fēng)發(fā)用紅綢牽著新娘上，劉蘭芝Luch蓋著紅蓋頭極不情愿地被拉上臺(tái))(焦仲卿Johnny和三強(qiáng)盜躍至臺(tái)中)ABCamp。焦仲卿Johnny:Heyyou!Stop and listen to us!A:The road is built by me!B:And I planted one :If you want to go by this street焦仲卿Johnny:Give us all your money!劉蘭芝(Luch)聽(tīng)到焦仲卿Johnny的聲音，掀起了蓋頭)劉蘭芝(Luch)(驚喜萬(wàn)分):Johnny!(不顧一切地飛奔到焦仲卿Johnny的身邊并躲到了的身后)(太守之子大怒，揮拳向焦仲卿Johnn打來(lái)．焦仲卿Johnny矮身一躲，太守之子打中了焦仲卿Johnny身后的劉蘭芝(Luch)，劉蘭芝(Luch)暈倒)焦仲卿Johnny(火冒三丈):How dare you beat my wife!（揮拳向太守之子沖去）(焦仲卿Johnny與太守之子混戰(zhàn)，焦母上，以拐杖擊暈太守之子)(焦仲卿Johnn將太守之子胸前的新郎標(biāo)志扯下戴在自己胸前)焦仲卿Johnny(扶起劉蘭芝(Luch)，關(guān)切地問(wèn)):Honey,how are you? 劉蘭芝(Luch)(哭狀):I hurt a lot!焦仲卿Johnny:Don’t cry ’ll go and fetch the medicine.(下)劉蘭芝(Luch)(起身去追):Wait for me!(跑下)第五篇：孔雀東南飛 英語(yǔ)搞笑劇本（最終版）31l:mum, i’m back!lm:you are back?why?what happened? l:i was kicked out by my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother–(驚訝,但隨即露出幸災(zāi)樂(lè)禍的神情):see!i have already told you!when you insisted on marrying that terrible johnny, i told you that he is ugly tupid and poor, but you did not listen to at yourself…… l:but,mum……lm:never interrupt me!l:mum,i’m not interrupting just want to tell you that you are always right ok? and i’ll marry whomever you want me (大喜):nice girl!just now, i met the mayor’s son in the said:“if your daughter haven’t been married,i really really want to marry her!”now you are free again, i ’ll go and tell him.(下)l(驚愕):what? the mayor’s son?the most famous playboy in the neighborhood?(手中的鍋 鏟掉在地上)what a silly thing i have done!(下)act3(j睡眼惺忪上)j(邊走邊道):lunch!lunch!where are mysocks?(走了幾步,在地上撿起襪子)here they are!(聞一下)er!how smelly!they are still dirty!(突然想起)lunch has gone!i have to wash them myself.(他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起來(lái))oh,i’m so hungry!but there’s no breakfast!(撿起地上的圍裙)this is what lunch always wears!i miss her so much, and her excellent cooking skill!now she has have to cook for my mother and (上):where’s my breakfast? where’slunch?hasn’t she got up yet?j:mum, can’t you remember?lunch has gone!jm(沉吟片刻):well, to tell you the truth johnny, a son without a wife is is an ice girl,go and take her back!j(立正敬禮):yes madam!act4(j開(kāi)心地走著，忽然跳出來(lái)三個(gè)強(qiáng)盜)a:hey you!stop and listen to us!the road is built by me!(抬腳重重地踩在一塊大石頭上)b:and i planted one tree!(亦抬腳踩在同一塊石頭上)c:if you want to go by this street(欲踩石頭，但踩到了a的腳)abamp。c:give us all your money!j(搜遍了每一個(gè)口袋，掏出１角硬幣):is 1mao enough?(三強(qiáng)盜暈倒?fàn)?，接著三人聚在一邊商?a:what bad luck!this guy is broken!33b:if we cannot robany money today,we will havenot thing to eat tonight!c:i heard that the mayor’s son is going to marry miss liulanzhi next can go and rob the wedding!aamp。b:good idea!j(驚訝):what? what? lunch is going to get married? it’s impossible!abamp。c:why? a pretty girl and a richman,what a good couple!j:but lunch is my wife!we haven’t got divorced yet!(突然有了主意)i’ve got an idea!you are going to rob the wedding, don’tyou? i’ll go with take the money and i take the :have you got any experience? j: i’ve got this!(j脫下鞋子從里面摸出一張支票，上書(shū)＄１，０００，０００)act5(轉(zhuǎn)眼已到了婚禮之期．ms意氣風(fēng)發(fā)用紅綢牽著新娘上，j蓋著紅蓋頭極不情愿地被拉上臺(tái))(j和三強(qiáng)盜躍至臺(tái)中)abcamp。j:hey you!stop and listen to us!a:the road is built by me!b:and i planted one :if you want to go by this streetj:give us all your money!(l聽(tīng)到j(luò)的聲音，掀起了蓋頭)l(驚喜萬(wàn)分):johnny!(不顧一切地飛奔到j(luò)的身邊并躲到了的身后)(ms大怒，揮拳向j打來(lái)．j矮身一躲，ms打中了j身后的l，l暈倒)j(火冒三丈):how dare you beat my wife!（揮拳向ms沖去）(j與ms混戰(zhàn)，jm上，以拐杖擊暈ms)(j將ms胸前的新郎標(biāo)志扯下戴在自己胸前)j(扶起l，關(guān)切地問(wèn)):honey, how are you? l(哭狀):i hurt a lot!j:don’t cry ’ll go and fetch the medicine.(下)l(起身去追):wait for me!(跑下)