heselfconcept：自我概念-資料下載頁(yè)
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【正文】 here. ? The pacing of self disclosure is crucial. Too fast or too slow self disclosure causes an imbalance and mistrust. Adult Attachment Styles ? Original terms: Secure, Insecureavoidant, Insecureambivalent. ? In the Working Model of Attachment Styles – Preoccupied: High on self esteem, low on interpersonal trust. – Fearful Avoidant: Low on self esteem and interpersonal trust. – Secure high on both – Dismissive: high on trust, low on self esteem Dispositional Lonliness ? Most loneliness does not involve lack of access to friends, but it is the result of the response of the person to others. ? Lonely people know about social skills in theory, but they lack the ability to trust others. They make negative attributions about the friendly intent of other people. ? Depression, fear of intimacy, unappreciated, interpersonal anxiety ? Pessimsism, self blame, attributions of rejection on the part of others, perceived lack of reciprocity from others. Often relationships bee self fulfilling prophecies. ? Shyness, ambivalence in relationships, dependentdissatisfied relationship adding to stress, interpersonal aggression and teasing. Investment in a Relationship ? People examine their perception of the fair exchange in a relationship and the alternatives. ? People in a mitted relationship devalue the alternatives, make positive attributions about the relationship, and five their partners. A sense of investment leads to mitment. Responses to Dissatisfaction ? Voice: active problem solving. More mon among women. ? Loyalty: Stay in a relationship because problems minor or alternatives poor. ? Neglect: Neglect of relationship. Let it wither on the vine. ? Exit: Examines both relationship and alternatives. Gender and Mate Choice ? Our anscestors survived because of male choice of furtile females and female choice of males with resources. ? Women tend to be much more concerned with long term, mited realationships and seek romance in first sexual encounters. However there is not as much gender difference in views on fidelity in marriage. Styles of Love Eros: Passionate love Ste: Companionate (friendship) love Ludus: Gameplaying love Mania: Possessive love Pragma: Logical love Agape: Selfless love Sternberg’s Theory of Love (page 318) ? Infatuation: Passionate love alone ? Empty Love: Commitment alone ? Liking: Intimacy alone ? Consummate Love: Intimacy, passion, mitment ? Fatuous Love: Passion and mitment but without time for intimacy ? Romantic Love: Intimacy plus passion ? Companionate Love: Intimacy plus mitment Often in marriages where passion has faded. ? Over time the relative importance of passion, intimacy, and mitment changes in a relationship. The problem occurs when partners change at a different rate. Similarity and Marriage ? Happy couples show more actual similarity. ? Assumed similarity is higher than actual similarity for happy couples. ? Initial attraction because of dissimilarity often ends up with dissatisfaction because that which was attractive bees annoying. Attributions and Marriage ? In happy marriages positive behaviors are seen as resulting from internal, stable, global traits and negative behaviors are seen as resulting from external, unstable, specific, factors. ? Distancing attributions represent the opposite. External attributions for positive events and internal for negative events. Marriage and Subjective Well Being (SWB) ? Longitudinal study in Germany ? Average person returns to baseline of SWB after change in marital status. It takes a little longer for baseline for widowhood. But there is great individual variation. ? Happy people less positively changed by marriage but more hurt by divorce. Some Tips on Mariatal Success ? Understanding partner’s point of view. ? Not threatening partner’s self esteem. ? Compromising: Would you rather be right or rather by happy? How’s that working for you? ? Decreasing costs and increasing benefits. ? Being agreeable, increasing positive affect, managing negative affect. Checking the validity of attributions.
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