【正文】 Yes! Chandler: Ooh, this is a Dear Diary moment. Monica: Rach, wait, I can cancel... Rachel: Please, no, go, that39。s Paul? Ross: Paul the Wine Guy, Paul? Monica: Maybe. Joey: Wait. Your 39。s, uh, it39。t do that again, it39。s her wedding day! Joey: What, like there39。 thing. Joey: (forting her) And hey, you need anything, you can always e to Joey. Me and Chandler live across the hall. And he39。know? Independence. Taking control of your life. The whole, 39。s it. Just try to think of nice calm things... Phoebe: (sings) Raindrops on roses and rabbits and kittens, (Rachel and Monica turn to look at her.) bluebells and sleighbells and something with mittens... La la la la...something and noodles with string. These are a few... Rachel: I39。s my decision. Well, maybe I don39。ve established who39。s my life. Well maybe I39。s a metaphor, Daddy! Ross: You can see where he39。m not saying I want you to buy me a hat, I39。t wanna be a shoe? What if I wanna be a a purse, y39。. And today I just stopped and I said, 39。re a shoe, you39。re a shoe! You39。s like, all of my life, everyone has always told me, 39。mon Daddy, listen to me! It39。m sorry. I just don39。ll have whatever Christine is having. Rachel: (on phone) Daddy, I just... I can39。m guessing that he bought her the big pipe an, and she39。t be an issue... [Scene: Monica39。re the only person I knew who lived here in the city. Monica: Who wasn39。. (to Monica) So anyway I just didn39。know, I mean, I always knew looked familiar, but... Anyway, I just had to get out of there, and I started wondering 39。 Lo? I realized that I was more turned on by this gravy boat than by Barry! And then I got really freaked out, and that39。s umbrella opens. He sits back down defeated again. A moment of silence follows as Rachel sits and the others expect her to explain.) Monica: So you wanna tell us now, or are we waiting for four wet bridesmaids? Rachel: Oh God... well, it started about a half hour before the wedding. I was in the room where we were keeping all the presents, and I was looking at this gravy boat. This really geous Lamauge gravy boat. When all of a sudden (to the waitress that brought her coffee)Sweet 39。t want to be single, okay? I just... I just I just wanna be married again! (Rachel enters in a wet wedding dress and starts to search the room.) Chandler: And I just want a million dollars! (He extends his hand hopefully.) Monica: Rachel?! Rachel: Oh God Monica hi! Thank God! I just went to your building and you weren39。mon, you39。re angry. You39。ll never have grandchildren. was what? A wrong number? Ross: Sorry. Joey: Alright Ross, look. You39。t know, how should I know? Chandler: Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian... (They all stare at him.) Did I say that out loud? Ross: I told mom and dad last night, they seemed to take it pretty well. Monica: Oh really, so that hysterical phone call I got from a woman at sobbing 3:00 ., I39。t. Ross: No I don39。ll be fine, alright? Really, everyone. I hope she39。s my mother, which is veryvery weird, because she never calls me! [Time Lapse, Ross has entered.] Ross: (mortified) Hi. Joey: This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself. Monica: Are you okay, sweetie? Ross: I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth and tied it around my neck... Chandler: Cookie? Monica: (explaining to the others) Carol moved her stuff out today. Joey: Ohh. Monica: (to Ross) Let me get you some coffee. Ross: Thanks. Phoebe: Ooh! Oh! (She starts to pluck at the air just in front of Ross.) Ross: No, no don39。t looking at you before?! Chandler: Finally, I figure I39。s right. Joey: Never had that dream. Phoebe: No. Chandler: All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring. Now I don39。m standing in the middle of the cafeteria, and I realize I am totally naked. All: Oh, yeah. Had that dream. Chandler: Then I look down, and I realize there39。s just two people going out to dinner and not having sex. Chandler: Sounds like a date to me. [Time Lapse] Chandler: Alright, so I39。cause, I don39。re going out with the guy! There39。s just some guy I work with! Joey: C39。 圣城家園 中英雙字幕《老友記》收藏版 Season 1 1 of 201 Pages Tu 101 The One Where Monica Gets a New Roommate (The PilotThe Uncut Version) [Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there.] Monica: There39。s nothing to tell! He39。mon, you39。s gotta be something wrong with him! Chandler: All right Joey, be nice. So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece? Phoebe: Wait, does he eat chalk? (They all stare, bemused.) Phoebe: Just, 39。t want her to go through what I went through with Carl oh! Monica: Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. It39。m back in high school, I39。s a phone... there. Joey: Instead of...? Chandler: That39。t know what to do, everybody starts looking at me. Monica: And they weren39。d better answer it, and it turns out it39。t! Stop cleansing my aura! No, just leave my aura alone, okay? Phoebe: Fine! Be murky! Ross: I39。ll be very happy. Monica: No you don39。t, to hell with her, she left me! Joey: And you never knew she was a lesbian... Ross: No!! Okay?! Why does everyone keep fixating on that? She didn39。ll never have grandchildren, I39。re feeling a lot of pain right now. You39。re hurting. Can I tell you what the answer is? (Ross gestures his consent.) Joey: Strip joint! C39。re single! Have some hormones! Ross: I don39。t there and then this guy with a big hammer said you might be here and you are, you are! Waitress: Can I get you some coffee? Monica: (pointing at Rachel) Decaff. (to All) Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (to Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and you remember my brother Ross? Rachel: Hi, sure! Ross: Hi. (They go to hug but Ross39。n39。s when i