【正文】 I39。ll be very happy. Monica: No you don39。d better answer it, and it turns out it39。s a phone... there. Joey: Instead of...? Chandler: That39。t want her to go through what I went through with Carl oh! Monica: Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. It39。mon, you39。 圣城家園 中英雙字幕《老友記》收藏版 Season 1 1 of 201 Pages Tu 101 The One Where Monica Gets a New Roommate (The PilotThe Uncut Version) [Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there.] Monica: There39。re going out with the guy! There39。s just two people going out to dinner and not having sex. Chandler: Sounds like a date to me. [Time Lapse] Chandler: Alright, so I39。s right. Joey: Never had that dream. Phoebe: No. Chandler: All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring. Now I don39。s my mother, which is veryvery weird, because she never calls me! [Time Lapse, Ross has entered.] Ross: (mortified) Hi. Joey: This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself. Monica: Are you okay, sweetie? Ross: I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth and tied it around my neck... Chandler: Cookie? Monica: (explaining to the others) Carol moved her stuff out today. Joey: Ohh. Monica: (to Ross) Let me get you some coffee. Ross: Thanks. Phoebe: Ooh! Oh! (She starts to pluck at the air just in front of Ross.) Ross: No, no don39。t. Ross: No I don39。ll never have grandchildren. was what? A wrong number? Ross: Sorry. Joey: Alright Ross, look. You39。mon, you39。s umbrella opens. He sits back down defeated again. A moment of silence follows as Rachel sits and the others expect her to explain.) Monica: So you wanna tell us now, or are we waiting for four wet bridesmaids? Rachel: Oh God... well, it started about a half hour before the wedding. I was in the room where we were keeping all the presents, and I was looking at this gravy boat. This really geous Lamauge gravy boat. When all of a sudden (to the waitress that brought her coffee)Sweet 39。know, I mean, I always knew looked familiar, but... Anyway, I just had to get out of there, and I started wondering 39。re the only person I knew who lived here in the city. Monica: Who wasn39。m guessing that he bought her the big pipe an, and she39。m sorry. I just don39。s like, all of my life, everyone has always told me, 39。re a shoe, you39。t wanna be a shoe? What if I wanna be a a purse, y39。s a metaphor, Daddy! Ross: You can see where he39。ve established who39。s it. Just try to think of nice calm things... Phoebe: (sings) Raindrops on roses and rabbits and kittens, (Rachel and Monica turn to look at her.) bluebells and sleighbells and something with mittens... La la la la...something and noodles with string. These are a few... Rachel: I39。 thing. Joey: (forting her) And hey, you need anything, you can always e to Joey. Me and Chandler live across the hall. And he39。t do that again, it39。s Paul? Ross: Paul the Wine Guy, Paul? Monica: Maybe. Joey: Wait. Your 39。d be good... Monica: (horrified) Really? Ross: (normal voice) No, go on! It39。s Paul.) Monica: Hi, e in! Paul, this is.. (They are all lined up next to the door.)... everybody, everybody, this is Paul. All: Hey! Paul! Hi! The Wine Guy! Hey! Chandler: I39。ll be right back, I just gotta go ah, go ah... Ross: A wandering? Monica: Change! Okay, sit down. (Shows Paul in) Two seconds. Phoebe: Ooh, I just pulled out four eyelashes. That can39。re you up to tonight? Rachel: Well, I was kinda supposed to be headed for Aruba on my honeymoon, so nothing! Ross: Right, you39。m just gonna hang out here tonight. It39。m supposed to attach a brackety thing to the side things, using a bunch of these little worm guys. I have no brackety thing, I see no whim guys whatsoever and I cannot feel my legs. (Joey and Chandler are finishing assembling the bookcase.) Joey: I39。s this? Chandler: I would have to say that is an 39。re gonna start with that stuff we39。s going through that right now, he39。s right. [Scene: Monica39。t, it39。s Apartment。m divorced! Joey: Shut up! Chandler: You must stop! (Chandler hits what he is working on with a hammer and it collapses.) Ross: That only took me an hour. Chandler: Look, Ross, you gotta understand, between us we haven39。s only one woman for everybody, y39。? That39。s Rocky Road, and Cookie Dough, and Bing! Cherry Vanilla. You could get 39。s, it39。s okay... Monica: I know being spit on is probably not what you need right now. Um... how long? Paul: Two years. Monica: Wow! I39。s Apartment, Rachel is watching Joanne Loves Chaci.] Priest on TV: We are gathered here today to join Joanne Louise Cunningham and Charles, ChachiChachiChachi, Arcola in the bound of holy matrimony. Rachel: Oh...see... but Joanne loved Chachi! That39。s been since I39。 mean anything to you? Joey: Great story! But, I uh, I gotta go, I got a date with AndreaAngelaAndrea... Oh man, (looks to Chandler) Chandler: Angela39。know, here39。know, I figure if I can make coffee, there isn39。t do. Joey: Listen, while you39。t hear. The others move Monica39。t a real date?! What the hell do you do on a real date? Monica: Shut up, and put my table back. All: Okayyy! (They do so.) Chandler: All right, kids, I gotta get to work. If I don39。m an actor. Rachel: Wow! Would I have seen you in anything? Joey: I doubt it. Mostly regional work. Monica: Oh wait, wait, unless you happened to catch the Reruns39。 Joey: I will not take this abuse. (Walks to the door and opens it to leave.) Chandler: You39。t stop smiling. Rachel: I can see that. You look like you slept with a hanger in your mouth. Monica: I know, he39。m gonna go get one of those (Thinks) job things. (Monica exits.) [Scene: Iridium, Monica is working as Frannie enters.] Frannie: Hey, Monica! Monica: Hey Frannie, wele back! How was Florida? Frannie: You had sex, didn39。k