【正文】 HOEBE: Where? RACHEL: At his apartment. Is this juice? JOEY: Whoa, whoa. And the fact that you dumped him because he hit on Phoebe? RACHEL: Oh God, I know I39。re not pathetic, you39。re upset. MONICA: My god, if I had a nickel for every guy I wish I hadn39。re late but we werewell, there was touching. PAOLO: Hey, hey Ross. ROSS: Hey, Paulo. What are you doing here? PAOLO: I do Raquel. ROSS: (to Rachel) So, uh, he39。s back. Is that a problem? ROSS: No, not a problem. RACHEL: Good! I39。s not a problem. PHOEBE: Ok, you39。ve got pants that need to be altered. JOEY: Hey, Chandler, when you see Frankie, tell him Joey Tribbiani says hello. He39。s gonna be able to crack that code? MONICA: You know it39。t. But I promise none of you are gonna feel a thing. [Scene: Monica39。s it, I quit. MONICA: What? I didn39。t the face of a person who trusts a person. Ok, this is the face of a person who, you know, doesn39。m sorry. I39。s just a little shorter than what we had discussed. PHOEBE: Would you relax? I know what I am doing. This is how he wears it. MONICA: How who wears it? PHOEBE: Demi Moore. MONICA: Demi Moore is not a he. PHOEBE: Well, he was a he in Arthur, and in Ten. MONICA: That39。m sorry, I39。s Demi Moore? MONICA: She39。s got geous hair. MONICA: I KNOW! [Scene: Frank39。ll do your inseam. (He slowly measures it up his leg, and Chandler makes a rather surprised face.) [Scene: Monica and Rachel39。s too soon to tell. She39。s the hair? PHOEBE: I39。t look good. I put a clip on one side, which seems to have stopped the curling. JOEY: Can we see her? PHOEBE: Your hair looks too good, I think it would upset her. Ross, you e on in. (They go into the bedroom leaving Joey and Rachel alone.) JOEY: How39。m ok. JOEY: Ooh, that bad, huh? Look, I can sense when women are depressed and vulnerable. It39。s like there39。ve only been going out for two weeks. Ross has been in love with you for like 10 years. RACHEL: I don39。t know. JOEY: Look, Rache, Rache, I39。ve been with like a lot of people39。ve never felt about anyone the way Ross felt about you. CHANDLER: (entering, angry) Yo, paisan! Can I talk to you for a sec? Your tailor is a very bad man! JOEY: Frankie? What39。s goin39。s tailor...took advantage of me. ROSS: What? JOEY: No way. I39。s how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over, they go up the other side, they move it back, and then they do the rear. What? Ross, Ross, would you tell him? Isn39。s not? Oh my god. [Scene: Monica and Rachel39。ve been better. ROSS: I like it. I do, I think it39。s crazy, but it39。s kinda what I meant by bye! RACHEL: Well, can I talk to you for a sec? ROSS: Okay. (goes out onto the balcony) JOEY: Hey, when the doctor does that hernia test... CHANDLER: That39。s goin39。t. Um, second of all, what? (Ross laughs) ROSS: Ok. Well, before I say anything, I just need to know, is this one of those things where you break up with a guy, and then I tell you what I think, and then the next day you get back together with the guy, and I look like a plete idiot? RACHEL: No. Nononono. ROSS: Well, then, I think, I think the guy is scum. I hate him. I physically hate him. I always have. You are way too good to be with a guy like that. You deserve to be with someone who appreciates you, and who gets how funny and sweet and amazing, and adorable, and sexy you are, you know? Someone who wakes up every morning thinking Oh my god, I39。s not how they measure pants. CLOSING CREDITS [Scene: Central Perk, Julie is wanting to get her hair cut from Phoebe.] JULIE: I was thinking of doing it a little shorter, you know, like Andy McDowell39。s the girl from Four Weddings and a Funeral, right? RACHEL: No. No no no no no. That39。re wele. END 202 The One With the Breast Milk [Scene: Monica and Rachel39。s gonna grow out of them in like, 20 minutes, but I couldn39。s... (sees the feeding taking place next to him) something funny about sneakers. I39。re just hanging out by the spoons. Ladle? ROSS: Look, would you guys grow up? That is the most natural beautiful thing in the world. JOEY: Yeah, we know, but there39。 on it. ROSS: This is my son having lunch, ok? It39。d better get used to it. Now if you have any problem with it, if you39。s fine with it, now e on. (They go back into the living room) CHANDLER: Carol, Carol? I was just wondering if Joey could ask you a question about breastfeeding? CAROL: Sure. JOEY: Uh, does it hurt? CAROL: It did at first, but not anymore. JOEY: Chandler? CHANDLER: So, uh, how often can you do it? CAROL: As much as he needs. JOEY: Ok, I got one, I got one. If he blows into one, does the other one get bigger? OPENING TITLES [Scene: Central Perk, the gang is all there.] JULIE: Rachel, do you have any muffins left? RACHEL: Yeah, I fet which ones. JULIE: Oh, you39。s ok, I39。re losin39。s quitting tomorrow and he wants to abuse his discount. So, anyone want to e with me and take advantage of it? PHOEBE: I can39。ll go with you. JULIE: Great. ROSS: (enters) Hi, honey. CHANDLER: Hey, sweetums. ROSS: Hello to the rest. ALL: Hi! JOEY: Monica what39。? You can39。s gonna be a problem, isn39。re going to Bloomingdales with Julie? That39。m PHOEBE: Monica, she will kill you. She will kill you like a dog in the street. ROSS: So, uh, Jules tells me you guys are going shopping tomorrow? MONICA: Yeah, uh, it39。s a big deal to me. This is great, Monica. I really appreciate this. MONICA: You39。s cologne.] JOEY: Bijan for men? Bijan for men? Bijan for men? Hey Annabelle. ANNABELLE: Hey, Joey. So did you hear about the new guy? JOEY: Who? ANNABELLE: Nobody knows his name. Me and the girls just call him the Hombre man. JOEY: What39。 in my section? ANNABELLE: I guess he doesn39。s gonna. I39。? TODD: Mornin39。re new, but it39。s to the escalator is my territory. TODD: Your territory, huh? JOEY: Yeah. Bijan