【正文】 oebe: Potato, potaato. [Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Rachel are there as Ross enters.]Ross: Hey!Joey: Hey Ross! The baby’s kicking!Ross: What?! It is?! (He tries to quickly remove his gloves, but runs into trouble and finally throws them off of his hands like a hockey player in a fight and grabs Rachel’s belly.)Rachel: It’s not kicking right now. Although we would love to see you do (Mimics him) that again.Ross: Hey, whenwhen was it kicking? What happened?Rachel: Last night! I just felt it and I went into Joey’s room and he was sleeping…Joey: A dreamless sleep.Ross: My God, the baby’s kicking. That’s great. Although I…kinda wish II would’ve been there to feel the kicking for the first time y’know.Joey: Well I got stuff going on in here (Rubbing his belly) if you wanna feel.Ross: Look, II don’t want to miss anymore baby stuff. So…Here. Here’s my new pager number, okay? Anytime anything pregnancy related happens use it! I’ll be there! Okay? I don’t care if it’s three in the morning and all you want is ice cream.Joey: Wow! Can I get a copy of that?[Scene: Phoebe39。s Apartment, Monica is lying on the massage table waiting for Phoebe.]Phoebe: (calling from her room) Are you under the sheet?Monica: Yes. (Phoebe turns on some music and grabs some oil.)Phoebe: (in a soothing voice) Great, let’s begin. (She starts the massage.) How’s the pressure?Monica: Nice! Wow Phoebe you are good!Phoebe: Stating the obvious, but thank you. And it’s not weird is it.Monica: No. Ooohh…Phoebe: That’s right, you just enjoy.Monica: (in a sexy voice) Oh. Oh yeah! Ohhhhh! Ohh! Oh yeah! Phoebe: (getting unfortable) Okay.Monica: Oh God Phoebe!! (Phoebe covers one ear.) Oh that’s it! That’s it! Right there! Oh! (Tries to cover the other ear.) Oooohooohooooh… (Covers both ears and continues the massage with her elbows.)[Scene: Monica and Chandler39。s, Chandler has a box of keys and is trying them on the secret closet when someone enters.]Chandler: I wasn’t trying to open your closet! I wasn’t trying to open your closet! I swear! (Running into the kitchen and sees its Joey.)Joey: Whoa, Monica runs a pretty tight ship over here. What are you doing?Chandler: Monica has a secret closet and she won’t let me see what’s in it.Joey: Why not?Chandler: I don’t know! What could she possibly be hiding in here that I can’t see?!Joey: I don’t know. Ooh, I bet it’s Richard.Chandler: Why would Monica be keeping Richard in here?Joey: Well off the top of my head uhh, maybe she’s having her cake and eating it too. You being the cake and Richard being the too. Or!Chandler: And here we go…Joey: I saw this movie once where there was a door and no one knew what was behind it, and when they finally got it open millions and millions and millions of bugs came pouring out and they feasted on human flesh. Y’know it wouldn’t kill ya to respect your wife’s privacy! (He walks away and into his apartment and looks the door.) Stupid closet full of bugs!Rachel: Joey. Joey, something feels weird and not good weird. I don’t—Whoa!! (Winces in pain.)Joey: Oh hey whoawhoa, don’t worry. Okay. When my sisters were pregnant they got every weird feeling in the book, it was always nothing.Rachel: Really?Joey: Absolutely. But, we’re gonna stop by the hospital just to be sure, okay? I’ll page Ross on the way. Come on.Rachel: Okay. Oh God—Ow!—Oo!Joey: Okay RachRachRach look at me, look at me, everything’s gonna be fine, trust me. Okay. Take my hand. Here we go. (Rachel grabs his hand.) Oww crushing bones![Scene: The Hospital, Joey is in the waiting room as Rachel es back out with the doctor.]Joey: Hey! So?Dr. Long: She’s fine. She’s experiencing BraxtonHicks contractions, mild disfort caused by contractions in the uterine wall.Rachel: Hmm, mild disfort. So I take it you’ve had one of these Braxton thingies?Joey: So but everything is normal.Dr. Long: Absolutely.Joey: Andand there’s no danger to her and the baby?Dr. Long: Nono. Contractions can be unnerving if you don’t know what they are, but she’s fine.Rachel: Thank you doctor. (Dr. Long exits.) (To Joey) Oh thank you for being so nice and calm.Joey: Calm?! I wasn’t calm! I’ve never been more scared in all my life!Rachel: But wait you said everything was gonna be okay.Joey: Well what do I know?! I’m not a doctor!Rachel: But I—But everything is okay. I’m fine!Joey: You sure?!Rachel: Yes! Yes! I got half a mind to contract that doctor’s uterus though. Mild disfort, what’s he talking about?Joey: (seeing Ross) Oh heyhey!Ross: (rushes in) Is everything okay?Rachel: Yeah, everything’s fine!Ross: Your page said e to the hospital, what? What was it? What happened?Joey: Something called BraxtonHicks contractions.Ross: Oh. Oh. Thank God, most women don’t even feel them.Rachel: Okay, no uterus, no opinion.Joey: Hey uh, what’s with the candy?Ross: Oh when you beeped me I was on line at the concession stand at the movie theater.Rachel: Oh you went to the movies by yourself?Ross: No I—Mona!Rachel: Oh, I gotta go back in there.Ross: What? Why? What’s wrong?Rachel: No, everything’s fine. I just gotta go back…Ross: No really, you tell me what’s up.Rachel: II forgot my underwear. (Ross lets her go.)Ross: (To Joey) So, thanks so much for bringing her to the hospital.Joey: Oh hey, don’t worry about it man. Don’t worry about it, no big deal.Ross: Yeah but still, I mean it should’ve been me. I’m the dad.Dr. Long: (To Joey) Uh, if you have any questions, here’s some information on BraxtonHicks. (Hands Joey a pamphlet.) Oh and by the way, you did the right thing by bringing her in. You’re gonna make a wonderful father.Joey: Oh uh, hey. Not as good as this guy! (Grabs Ross around the shoulders.) He brought Twizlers!Commercial Break[Scene: Monica and Chandler39。s, Joey and Chandler are still working on the door.]Chandler: There has got to be a way!Joey: Easy there Cap