【導(dǎo)讀】managetooversleep.Taxi!Excuseme.Taxi!Thankyou.Shit!Thankyou.Keepthechange.Excuseme.Hi.There.Thankyou.Excuseme.Stepforward.Okay.Here,canyouholdthat?Let'sgo.Stop.Arms.I'msorry.Sir,canyouhurry?Goahead.Okay,Thankyou.Stepforward.Andwegottahurryup.Nowyoucanpressit.Idon'tinvestanymore.it'stoovolatile.Hanginginmycloset.Really?Thankyou,sweetie.Wasitexpensive?No,you'recheap.Inever....Ladies.Thankyou.$20forahamburger?That'sreasonable.tranny.What'snext?Nofuckinginbars?StellaMcCartney,AlexanderMcQueen.Toofatty.Hehasn'tsaidyet.Ireallylikehim.situation.What'swiththeface?Ididn'tmakeaface.Isaidpork,youwent....it'sjustI'mconfused.Charlotte,itdoesn'tworkthatway.I'mnotkosher.I'mconservative.I'mconservative,too.Look,Iknowwhatyou'rethinking,okay?''Whydidyou?BecauseIcouldn'tnotkissyou.Notsleepwithyou,notseeyou.

　　

【正文】 rding device. I have never had to work at it with someone I really like. You should probably keep that to yourself. Okay, but, Miranda...I got to tell you, it was not good. There was... no throw down. It was more like a slow down. It caught me pletely off guard because I thought it would be amazing. Maybe that39。s the problem. What? Your expectations were too high. Of course you were disappointed. From now on, people should tell it like it is. First time sex: tricky. Nondairy vegan ravioli: kindergarten paste. As I tried to scrub the smell of uncooked okra off me...I started thinking about 39。39。sexpectations. 39。39。 We39。re aware as smart, Single women that we can39。t expect perfection...but Life still manages to throw us curve Balls. Maybe once you39。re into your mid30s, it shouldn39。t be called dating. It should be called...39。39。Waiting for the other shoe to drop. 39。39。 If it39。s not the sex between me and you... then someone has to bee a Jew. Why is it always something? Unless you39。re in a problem free relationship with TiVo. No. Maybe later. Hello. Shut up. Thank you. Jules, are you there? Hello, Mimi. Do you always answer the door without your shirt on? The heat isn39。t working. That39。s why I rang you up. It seems to be working. It39。s definitely balmy in here. The problem is in the bedroom. Right, of course. The bedroom. The next day, Charlotte boldly went...where no York had gone before: the synagogue. Shalom. Where would I find the rabbi? His study. inside. Thank you. Are you the rabbi? Yes. Hi, my name is Charlotte York...and I39。m here today because I would like to consider joining the Jewish faith. We39。re not interested. Hello. I need to report a very rude man. I was saying my name is Charlotte York...and I would like to consider joining the Jewish I don39。t know what is with these people. I never! Do you know how much I love you for doing this? Do you know how sexy you look? That39。s it, I have to have you immediately. Harry definitely had throw down...but Charlotte was too thrown and down to care. Stop, Harry. I39。m feeling very rejected by your people. That39。s the game, baby. They try to make it hard for you. What? it39。s part of the process. Traditionally, they turn you down three times to make sure you39。re serious. Suddenly Charlotte understood. They were playing hard to get. They were rules rabbis. I can play that game. I invented that game. No man rejects Charlotte York. I don39。t care what any rabbi says. You are my chosen person. Miranda was Looking forward to another perfect night...with her perfect boyfriend. But unfortunately, there was another woman. I think I did something bad. What do you mean? Brady? I just checked on him. No, boy is beautiful, is fine. TiVo? What did you do? Exactly what did you do? I sit on...and then nothing. You sat on TiVo? Is it okay? Nothing is recorded. How could you do this? This is Jules amp。 Mimi, the morning after. No! Yes. And across town, I lay in bed willing Berger to call me...which never works. Hello? Hey, it39。s me. Sorry for not calling earlier. This is the same Excuse every guy gives, but in my case it39。s true. A 60foot raccoon was attacking the village...and I had to trap it and kill it and stuff it...and everybody39。s safe now...even the little Flanders girl who was stuck in a tree. But I might have rabies. What have you been up to? Same old. Did The Times crossword puzzle, found a cure for cancer. You did The Times crossword puzzle? Monday39。s, not Sunday39。s. Okay. I need three people to do Sunday39。s, one has to have the answers. I was thinking that if two people can be good in bed...when they39。re not in the same bed, how hard a conversion Could it be? I have some answers if you have cab fare. Yeah? Dump him. Fuck me badly once, shame on you. Fuck me badly twice, shame on me. Is that the saying? That39。s my saying. I don39。t want to dump him. I think he39。s fantastic. Aren39。t we getting a little old to jump to the dump? What about working on things? Look at Charlotte, she39。s being a Jew. I need something that will make a guy e in his pants as soon as he sees me. Got it. You talk to sales people like that? I39。m here all the time. They love me. Is this for a specific gentleman or do you just look for that generally? it39。s for that hot waiter from Raw. I39。m sleeping with him tonight, but he doesn39。t know it yet. I think I have to talk to him. No! We talk about everything else. Honey, when it es to sex, spray it, don39。t say it. Okay, that was unnecessary. I39。m trying to salvage your love life. The only words you should be saying in bed are dirty ones. I can39。t do that without alcohol. Then start drinking, because if you want a hotter sex life...you39。re going to have to turn up the heat. Starting with....I don39。t wear furry shoes. They39。re not for you, they39。re for him. He mostly wears Loafers. Are you sure I can39。t talk to him about it? Honey...if the sex isn39。t great, it doesn39。t help to say it39。s not great. That39。s usually a downer, and by that I mean....Plus, he must know it39。s not great. He can39。t think this is good. Oh, God. Is it possible he thinks this is good? Here we are. As a matter of fact, I39。m gonna take this. We39。ll take two. And these in a 7. That evening Miranda had one of those regrettable discussions...that results from the belief that you and your partner...should be able to talk through any problem. We have been over this before. I feel like you are not listening to me. I turned the system off for 10 minutes and nothing changed. I39。m sorry. I39。m upset. I39。m just so disappointed. I got used to ing home to something. Can39。t you work with me on this? You told me to do that already. What is wrong with you? Friday night with Berger: I had my sexy Lingerie under my cool couture...and I was feeling good. You look so hot in t