【正文】 ing out to your neighboramp。39。s boss is how you get that unposted job. Itamp。39。s not cheating. Itamp。39。s the science of how information spreads.
　　新的事情來自我們所謂的”。遠(yuǎn)的關(guān)系”。，我們朋友的朋友的朋友。沒錯(cuò)，半數(shù)20多歲的人處在失業(yè)和半失業(yè)的狀態(tài)。但是另外一半的人卻不是這樣的，”。遠(yuǎn)的關(guān)系”。正是你融入一個(gè)新的群體的紐帶。有半數(shù)的新工作從來不公示出來，所以聯(lián)絡(luò)你鄰居的老板是你找到那些未公示工作的方式。這不叫作弊，這是信息傳播的科學(xué)方式。
　　Last but not least, Emma believed that you canamp。39。t pick your family, but you can pick your friends. Now this was true for her growing up, but as a twentysomething, soon Emma would pick her family when she partnered with someone and created a family of her own.
　　最后一點(diǎn)也很重要，Emma相信你無法選擇你的家庭，但是你可以選擇你的朋友?？蛇@只是她成長時(shí)期的狀況。作為一個(gè)20多歲的人，Emma很快會(huì)與某人為伴組建她自己的新家庭。
　　I told Emma the time to start picking your family is now. Now you may be thinking that 30 is actually a better time to settle down than 20, or even 25, and I agree with you. But grabbing whoever youamp。39。re living with or sleeping with when everyone on Facebook starts walking down the aisle is not progress.
　　我告訴Emma現(xiàn)在就是你選擇你家庭的時(shí)候。現(xiàn)在你也許會(huì)想相比于20歲，25歲或30歲時(shí)組建家庭會(huì)更好。我同意你的看法。但是當(dāng)你Facebook上的朋友都開始步入婚姻殿堂時(shí)，你隨便抓一個(gè)人一起生活、睡覺絕對不是組建家庭的過程。
　　The best time to work on your marriage is before you have one, and that means being as intentional with love as you are with work. Picking your family is about consciously choosing who and what you want rather than just making it work or killing time with whoever happens to be choosing you.
　　經(jīng)營你婚姻的最佳時(shí)間是你還沒結(jié)婚的時(shí)候，這意味要像你為了工作一樣精心謀劃。選擇你的家庭是有意識(shí)地去選擇你想要的人和事，而不是為了結(jié)婚或者消磨時(shí)光，任意選擇一個(gè)正好選擇你的人。
　　So what happened to Emma? Well, we went through that address book, and she found an old roommateamp。39。s cousin who worked at an art museum in another state. That weak tie helped her get a job there. That job offer gave her the reason to leave that livein boyfriend.
　　Emma發(fā)生了什么變化呢?我們翻了一遍通訊錄，她發(fā)現(xiàn)她原來的舍友的表妹在另一個(gè)州的一家藝術(shù)博物館工作。這層遠(yuǎn)關(guān)系幫助她在那里得到一份工作。這份工作給她一個(gè)理由離開她那同居的男友。
　　Now, five years later, sheamp。39。s a special events planner for museums. Sheamp。39。s married to a man she mindfully chose. She loves her new career, she loves her new family, and she sent me a card that said, amp。quot。Now the emergency contact blanks donamp。39。t seem big enough.amp。quot。
　　現(xiàn)在五年過去了，她是一名博物館特別活動(dòng)策劃者。她和一個(gè)她用心選擇的男人結(jié)婚了。她愛她的事業(yè)，她愛她的新家，她寄給我一張賀卡寫道，”?，F(xiàn)在緊急聯(lián)系欄似乎不夠填呢?！?。
　　Now Emmaamp。39。s story made that sound easy, but thatamp。39。s what I love about working with twentysomethings. They are so easy to help. Twentysomethings are like airplanes just leaving LAX, bound for somewhere west. Right after takeoff, a slight change in course is the difference between landing in Alaska or Fiji.
　　Emma的故事聽起來簡單，這正是為什么我愛和20多歲人打交道。幫助20多歲的人很容易。20多歲就像離開洛杉磯飛往西部某處的飛機(jī)，起飛之后，一點(diǎn)小小變化都會(huì)影響到它最終將降落在阿拉斯加還是斐濟(jì)。
　　Likewise, at 21 or 25 or even 29, one good conversation, one good break, one good TED Talk, can have an enormous effect across years and even generations to e. So hereamp。39。s an idea worth spreading to every twentysomething you know.
　　同理，在你21歲，25歲甚至29歲的時(shí)候，一次好的談話、好的休息、好的TED演講，能在未來的幾年甚至幾代人的時(shí)間里帶來巨大的影響。因此這個(gè)想法值得傳達(dá)給每一個(gè)你所認(rèn)識(shí)的20多歲人。
　　Itamp。39。s as simple as what I learned to say to Alex. Itamp。39。s what I now have the privilege of saying to twentysomethings like Emma every single day: Thirty is not the new 20, so claim your adulthood, get some identity capital, use your weak ties, pick your family. Donamp。39。t be defined by what you didnamp。39。t know or didnamp。39。t do. Youamp。39。re deciding your life right now. Thank you.
　　這想法就像我后來告訴Alex的話一樣簡單。我應(yīng)該每天都對像Emma這樣的20多歲的人說：30歲不是一個(gè)新的20歲，所以規(guī)劃好你的成年生活，獲得一些身份認(rèn)同資本，利用你的遠(yuǎn)關(guān)系，選擇你的家庭。不要被你所不知道的，從未做過的事所禁錮。你現(xiàn)在的作為決定著你的人生。謝謝。