【文章內(nèi)容簡(jiǎn)介】 gument: K2 @amp。 B6 [6 x t% p* \ E) z。 Y *that preventive and protective gear are not the same + n. H1 V o. g2 T1 m. g *that skaters who wear gear may be less prone to accidents because they are, by nature, more responsible and cautious z1 v1 A h M% L *that the statistics do not differentiate by the severity of the injuries *that gear may not need to be highquality to be beneficial The discussion is smoothly and logically anized, and each point is thoroughly and cogently developed. In addition, the writing is succinct, economical and errorfree. Sentences are varied and plex, and diction is expressive and precise. 6 d, e6 m }. @ i0 ]3 P9 W In sum, this essay exemplifies the very top of the 6 range described in the scoring guide. If the writer had been less eloquent or provided fewer reasons to refute the argument, the essay could still have been scored 6. 。 @+ A* P1 G3 W$ damp。 T) y 。 W0 a) @! damp。 u5 q) g 麥可的小總結(jié)： , o7 O。 E u: A: ^39。 G% ~ （ 1）分析原題目中可取之處；指出原文中不足之處；推出論據(jù)中的潛在后果。（這里的第一點(diǎn)展開(kāi)證明，這樣 雖然沒(méi)有直接復(fù)述題目，但是這三點(diǎn)說(shuō)完后整個(gè)框架就很清楚了） (2)正文中第一段質(zhì)疑我認(rèn)為的核心假設(shè)錯(cuò)誤（從原題目中的可取之處中尋找，要把它唯一一點(diǎn)正確的東西也給質(zhì)疑了），后三段按原文邏輯順序攻擊三點(diǎn)，如本文中人的本質(zhì) ==〉人受的傷的差別 ==〉為防受傷，買(mǎi)質(zhì)量好的就有用？可以看出，這三點(diǎn)是與原文中三段論式論證環(huán)環(huán)相扣的。這就是前面第一部分講解 awintro 中提到的 analytical writing 的具體應(yīng)用。 d1 F2 E) E! r/ h! Z39。 b3 B% @ （ 3）邏輯方面的論證方法為：尋找并質(zhì)疑隱含假設(shè)，列舉它因，加條件（常識(shí)性條件，或者限定性條件）后討論，提出建議。 (4)在語(yǔ)言方面的論證手法有：分情況討論，舉反例推繆。 （ 5）最后的時(shí)候還是要首先肯定原文的可取之處如初衷好啊，然后指出需要思考的更加完善才行。要是思考的不完善會(huì)有什么后果。（范文最后一段基本屬于扯淡） . 第二篇文章： The University of Claria is generally considered one of the best universities in the world because of its instructors39。 reputation, which is based primarily on the extensive research and publishing record of certain faculty members. In addition, several faculty members are internationally renowned as leaders in their fields. For example, many of the faculty from the English department are regularly invited to teach at universities in other B。 G, i9 Y39。 {+ _0 Y Furthermore, two recent graduates of the physics department have gone on to bee candidates for the Nobel Prize in Physics.amp。 Z M3 B( Y9 m+ u$ J+ e2 M E+ r, w4 P And 75 percent of the students are able to find employment after graduating. Therefore, because of the reputation of its faculty, the University of Claria should be the obvious choice for anyone seeking a quality education.39。 y$ r。 R$ x4 w D4 C/ { 原題邏輯順序： UC 老師牛 ==〉 UC 學(xué)生牛 ==〉想牛就選擇 UC .7 d1 u0 s3 K0 i。 D p2 m SAMPLE1 (score 6) While the University of Claria appears to have an excellent reputation based on the acplishments and reputations of its faculty, one would also wish to consider other issues before deciding upon this particular institution for undergraduate or graduate training. 首先承認(rèn) UC 的聲望看起來(lái)確實(shí)不錯(cuò)，算是部分的同意了原文的觀點(diǎn)，并簡(jiǎn)短的展開(kāi)論證說(shuō)事因?yàn)槔蠋熍?。隨后便指出還有他因，但是并沒(méi)有展開(kāi)它因。 (留到正文第一段來(lái)展開(kāi) ) The Physics and English departments are internationally known, but these are only two of the areas in which one might study. 這里指出論據(jù)的不充足。實(shí)際上是在攻擊原文的論據(jù)邏輯鏈 。 Other departments are not listed。 is this because no others are worth mentioning, or because no other departments bothered to turn in their acplishments and kudos to the publicity office? 給出了論證：提出兩個(gè)問(wèn)題進(jìn)行質(zhì)疑。 1 ^6 i( S% t1 ?1 O8 j2 t _。 s$ \ 。 8 d, m+ N ^ F p1 X. E The assumption is that because English and Physics have excellent brains in the faculty offices, their teaching skills and their abilities to pass on knowledge and the love of learning to their students are equally laudable. BODY 打頭第一段與開(kāi)頭段第一句話對(duì)應(yīng)，具體提出了他因。同時(shí)，還注 意到所讓步的內(nèi)容（老師牛 學(xué)校 就牛）仍然是一致的。質(zhì)疑：老師牛，就能提供牛的教育嗎？ Unfortunately, this is often not the case. 一針見(jiàn)血的指出不是這么回事 。 A prospective student would certainly be advised to investigate thoroughly the teaching talents and attitudes of the professors, the library and research facilities, the physical plant of the departments in which he or she was planning to study, as well as the living arrangements on or off campus, and the facilities available for leisure activities and ：還有其他的因素決定教育的水平的。論證方法為列舉他因。這里的論證給人的感覺(jué)就是 列的東西多，而且細(xì)。 + R. l! p. i% t! u T39。 v This evaluation of the University of Claria is too brief, and too general. 這里對(duì)于原文中邏輯鏈中的論據(jù)不足進(jìn)行證明。實(shí)際上就是和開(kāi)頭段后兩句話（只有兩個(gè)系不夠）相對(duì)應(yīng)，進(jìn)一步展開(kāi)進(jìn)行證明原文的論據(jù)怎么不充分，我們要全面評(píng)估 UC 除了只知道提供的兩個(gè)系的信息外還要知道哪些。 Nothing is mentioned about the quality of overall education。 it only praises the acplishments of a few recent graduates and professors.。 h$ U: F$ R% a 這里屬于復(fù)述原文，立好靶子做好準(zhǔn)備開(kāi)始攻擊。 More important than invitations to teach elsewhere, which might have been engineered by their own departmental heads in an attempt to remove them from the campus for a semester or two, is the relationship between teacher and student. Are the teaching faculty approachable? Are they helpful? Have they an interest in passing on their knowledge? Are they working for the future benefit of the student or to get another year closer to retirement? How enthusiastic are the students about the courses being taught and the faculty members who teach those classes? Are there sufficient classes available for the number of students? Are the campus buildings accessible。 how is the University handling all those cars? Is the University a pleasant, encouraging, interesting, challenging place to attend school? What are its attitudes about education, students, student ideas and innovations, faculty suggestions for improvement?一開(kāi)始攻擊就一連問(wèn)了十幾個(gè)問(wèn)題，顯得很雄辯，這里問(wèn)了這么多問(wèn)題，核心只有一個(gè)，學(xué)校老師學(xué)生之間三角關(guān)系到底怎么樣。具體論證是先說(shuō)師生關(guān)系（老師對(duì)待學(xué)生怎么樣，學(xué)生對(duì)待老 師怎么樣），再說(shuō)學(xué)校和學(xué)生（學(xué)校給學(xué)生提供了哪些便利），最后說(shuō)學(xué)校和老師和學(xué)生的關(guān)系（老師通過(guò)學(xué)校為了提高給學(xué)生的教育提出了什么意見(jiàn)么） .可以說(shuō)是層層遞進(jìn)，還是很有章法的！論證手法為列舉他因。 7 z5 _+ l% S+ d) l7 Q8 q s What about that 75% employment record? 這里質(zhì)疑了邏輯鏈中的另一個(gè)論據(jù)，即畢業(yè)生找工作的數(shù)據(jù)也能推出學(xué)校牛。核心論證方法為質(zhì)疑假設(shè)，提出建議。 Were those students employed in the field of their choice, or are they flipping burgers and emptying wastebaskets while they search for something they are trained to do. 這里論證方法為質(zhì)疑假