【正文】 .....(S 捂耳)（音樂(lè)響）《敢問(wèn)路在何方》（這個(gè)放伴奏）(謝幕)三打白骨精中英文對(duì)照搞笑版人物：T唐僧 S：孫悟空、E：豬八戒、J：沙僧、B：白骨精、B1：B變 成的村姑、B2：B變成的太婆、B3：B變化成的老頭、N：哪吒 T: Wukong,where we are now? 悟空 我們現(xiàn)在到哪里了 S: Bajie,map!八戒 地圖E:(摸出，遞給S)S: oh，master，look！(湊近T)???（T、S一齊轉(zhuǎn)向E）哦 師傅 你瞧啊！T: Bajie!How Many times I have told you don39。t understand......What happened? S: Master,your IQ needs increasing!This monster changed its appearance into three shapes in order to cheat you!T: How,how did you find out? S:(沉默).......Monkey39。you are ma 。ll enjoy your meat and blood,ha,ha......S:(悄悄走到B后，打B,B暈)don39。s intuition(直覺(jué))T: Wukong(S不理T)I admit my mistake this time(S仍不理)I39。ve called the :(搖醒B)You are under arrest.(出示證件)You have the right to remain silent If you give up the right, anything you will say can and will be against you in a court of law!(帶走B)T: Wukong(S不理T)I admit my mistake this time(S仍不理)I39。m : Em? Louder,please?T: I......am......sorry.....(S 捂耳)(音樂(lè)響)《敢問(wèn)路在何方》(這個(gè)放伴奏)T: Let39。J: Are you Ok, master?(扶T)J: Look,(伸食指)how many?T:Two…..(暈乎乎地)Sun Wukong, game over!(變成B3)B3:(看到B1,B2尸體)Oh….,my daughter, my wife!Who did it?！(哭喊)S: I’ll kill you, monster!(打)T:(想阻止，未及)You,you.....(險(xiǎn)些暈，E,J扶住)You have killed three lives!S: No,they are not human beings!They are created by monster!T: Monster?You are a real monster!Never let me see you,go！S:(悲，離去)(音樂(lè)，營(yíng)造 “假”悲傷氣氛)《人鬼情未了》E: Master, brother Monkey is.......T: Scratch!Don39。S :They are not humanbeing，they are monsters.（他們不是人，他們是妖精.）T:（想阻止，未及）You,you.....(險(xiǎn)些暈，E,J扶住)You have killed three lives!你，你??你已經(jīng)傷了三條人命了！S: No,they are not human beings!They are created by monster!不，他們不是人！都是妖怪變的！T: Monster?You are a real monster!Never let me see you,go！妖怪？你才是妖怪！你走，不要再讓我看見(jiàn)你！S:(悲，離去)（音樂(lè)，營(yíng)造 “假”悲傷氣氛）《人鬼情未了》 J: boss, brother Monkey is.......師傅，猴哥這是??T: Don39。聽(tīng)到這句話，唐僧去擋老婦，孫悟空把唐僧推到在地后，將老婦打死。J: Are you Ok, boss?(扶T)師傅，你還好吧？這個(gè)地方八戒要表現(xiàn)出墻頭草的樣子。T:(縮手)I’ll keep it for you until we reach the west 為師先替你保管，到西天了再給你。沙僧：大師兄，師父也只是一時(shí)氣話，你再勸勸就好。我好心保護(hù)師父，你卻一再聽(tīng)信那呆子胡說(shuō)，屢次要趕我走。白骨精：啊.......悟空：好你個(gè)妖精，你騙得了別人，可偏不了俺老孫！（白骨精嚇得不敢作聲）悟空：土地！山神?。ㄍ恋睾蜕缴癯鰣?chǎng)）悟空：你們來(lái)給俺老孫作個(gè)證。悟空（追上去，攔在唐面前）：師父要我回去也行，您念個(gè)松箍咒，把我的箍拿下來(lái)，我就回去。頭痛，好痛。孫一棒打來(lái)：妖精。）唐僧：這位施主是....白骨精：長(zhǎng)老，請(qǐng)問(wèn)你們看見(jiàn)我的女兒了么？（唐三人尷尬。悟空：去....悟空（轉(zhuǎn)身向唐僧）：師父，我用金箍棒在地上畫(huà)一個(gè)圈，你們呆在里面不出來(lái)，那妖精便沒(méi)法傷害你們了。）八戒：師父別聽(tīng)這猴頭瞎說(shuō)，這女施主明明是給我們送飯吃的好人，他偏說(shuō)她是個(gè)妖精！他打死了人，又怕師父念緊箍咒，所以才弄個(gè)障眼法哄你。)唐僧：女菩薩，你住哪里？怎么知道我們?cè)谶@里啊？白骨精：師傅，我家住在山的西面，我父母信佛行善，凡是有出家人路過(guò)都會(huì)給些齋飯。沙僧挑著擔(dān)，艱難的走著。s go guys!(歌)伙計(jì)們，走了！v 悟空: You are carrying the luggage, I am leading the ，我牽著馬。如果非要在這份愛(ài)上加上一個(gè)期限，我希望是??一萬(wàn)年 v 悟空: I’ll kill you, monster!(打)妖怪，我要?dú)⒘四悖 白骨精3: Just kill me use your golden cudgel(金箍棒), don’t hesitate, please!Without my family, I don39。如果你們待在里面沒(méi)有妖怪能接近！v 唐僧: Em??Wukong, you are being more and more scientific!Emitofo, knowledge is power!呃??悟空，你變得越來(lái)越講科學(xué)了！阿彌陀佛，知識(shí)就是力量！v 悟空: Bye!(走)拜！v 唐僧: Let’s play cards!3我們打牌吧！v 白骨精: Hm!Hm!Electric net? You are too childish.(變成B1)呃，呃，電網(wǎng)？你們太幼稚了。第一篇：三打白骨精 劇本Three Times’ Beating Monsterv v 旁白: Five hundred years ago, there is a inviting , we’ll tell you this interesting story, Three Times’ Beating ’s 五百年前，有這樣一個(gè)誘人的傳說(shuō)。照這樣做。如果上天能夠給我一個(gè)再來(lái)一次的機(jī)會(huì)，我會(huì)對(duì)我妻子和女兒說(shuō)三個(gè)字“我愛(ài)你”。m sorry!對(duì)不起!v 悟空: Em? Louder, please！呃，請(qǐng)大點(diǎn)聲！v 唐僧: I......am......sorry.....對(duì)??不??起?? v 唐僧: Let39。唐僧款款的坐在白龍馬上，念誦南無(wú)經(jīng)。八戒：是給我們送吃的來(lái)了！(白骨精走到唐僧面前，唐僧連忙合掌。）（唐僧有點(diǎn)信了，八戒去在一旁挑撥。八戒：瞧你說(shuō)的，哪有什么妖怪。）（唐三人背對(duì)著白，白伸出手，向唐背后抓去，忽然被孫畫(huà)的圈子弄傷了，哎呀一聲，唐三人發(fā)覺(jué)了。（向唐僧撲過(guò)來(lái)）旁白：說(shuō)時(shí)遲，那時(shí)快，孫悟空化晚齋回來(lái)，正好看見(jiàn)妖精欲行不軌。悟空：啊，緊箍咒。唐僧：從此以后，我不再是你的師父，你走吧。白骨精：長(zhǎng)老們一路走來(lái)，可有看見(jiàn)我的女兒和夫人了么？ 唐三人：這....白骨精：你們?cè)趺戳?？莫非你們將他們母女害了?八戒：不是我們，是我那大師兄一個(gè)人干的。）悟空：師父錯(cuò)怪我了，那真是妖精，他是想來(lái)害你的。悟空（拜完，對(duì)沙僧）：沙師弟，你是好人，千萬(wàn)小心八戒的胡言亂語(yǔ)，以后要好好保護(hù)師父。(伸手拿回)哦，師傅！原諒我吧。進(jìn)來(lái)教我！S:(回來(lái)，看見(jiàn)B1)Oh,monster!(上前就打)啊，妖怪！B1:（倒)Ah??慘叫聲T:(氣憤)Wukong!Look what have done!She is my teacher!悟空！你在干嘛！她是我的師傅!S: She is a monster!她是妖怪！T: Nonsense!(深呼吸)S: Oh,please don’t??噢，師傅，別??T:It’s too late!(唱)Once more??you open the door?(泰坦尼克主題曲，走音離譜)太晚了！Once more??(緊箍咒)S: Please,Please,oh,no??(痛苦抱頭)T:(嗆住，咳)Wukong,I’m disappointed with you!悟空，為師早就跟你講了?。ú灰獊y殺生）B:(真身出現(xiàn))Hm!Sun Wukong, I’ll teach you a lesson!(變成太婆)哼!孫悟空，讓我教訓(xùn)一下你！B2:Hello,have you seen my daughter?（長(zhǎng)老）請(qǐng)問(wèn)，你們見(jiàn)過(guò)我女兒沒(méi)？ T: Daughter?...(連忙擋住尸體)No,sorry!S:（咬牙切齒）You monster, I’ll beat you into hell!好你個(gè)妖怪，我打死你！Eamp。S:You are the monster, I will beat 。T：Oh Wukong，you have killed three lives.（悟空，你竟然殺了三個(gè)人。m : Em? Louder,please?嗯？麻煩您大聲點(diǎn)行嗎？ T: I......am......sorry.....(S 捂耳)第四篇：三打白骨精的英文劇本三打白骨精的英文劇本，我演過(guò)，相當(dāng)成功，（人物可刪減的）人物：T唐僧 S：孫悟空 E：豬八戒 J：沙僧B：白骨精 B1：B變成的村姑 B2：B變成的太婆B3：B變化成的老頭 N：哪吒T: Emitofo,do you know where we are now?S: Bajie,map!E:(摸出，遞給S)S: Look,master(湊近T)………(T、S一齊轉(zhuǎn)向E)T: Bajie!How Many times I have told you, nof to bring these pictures of beautiful girls with you!E: Oh,master!Forgive me(伸手拿回)T:(縮手)I’ll keep it for you until we reach the westE: But……T: Emitofo,nothing is lust,lust is nothing!Map?E:(遞)…… we have arrived in White Tiger Mountain!Ah I can’t walk on any more!(坐)My stomach doesn’t allow : Fat Pig!E: Monkey,if you dare to say these two words once again,I will ,I will……….S: You will what(兇相)?E:(軟禁)I will help you catch fleas(跳蚤).S: Hm!T:(輕咳)Wukong,factually,I am a bit hungry Could you go to get me some food?E: You see ,master is hungry,too!T: Baijie!Don’t forget who ate my last meal!J: But master,if a monster es while brother monkeg is away…..T: Em…….It is a ,do you have any idea?S: No problem!(安裝)(B已躲在一旁偷看)E: This is…..?S: Electric net!I have learnt the energy of electricity from master’s I made mo