【正文】 anymore. JOEY: Chandler? CHANDLER: So, uh, how often can you do it? CAROL: As much as he needs. JOEY: Ok, I got one, I got one. If he blows into one, does the other one get bigger? OPENING TITLES [Scene: Central Perk, the gang is all there.] JULIE: Rachel, do you have any muffins left? RACHEL: Yeah, I fet which ones. JULIE: Oh, you39。re busy, that39。s ok, I39。ll get it. Anybody else want one? ALL: No thanks. JULIE: Oh, you39。re losin39。 your apron here, let me get it. There you go. (Ties it back up for her) RACHEL: (to Julie) Thank you. (under her breath to Chandler) What a bitch. JULIE: Oh, listen you guys. I have this friend at Bloomingdales who39。s quitting tomorrow and he wants to abuse his discount. So, anyone want to e with me and take advantage of it? PHOEBE: I can39。t, I have to take my grandmother to the vet. MONICA: Ok, um, I39。ll go with you. JULIE: Great. ROSS: (enters) Hi, honey. CHANDLER: Hey, sweetums. ROSS: Hello to the rest. ALL: Hi! JOEY: Monica what39。re you doin39。? You can39。t go shopping with her? What about Rachel? MONICA: It39。s gonna be a problem, isn39。t it? CHANDLER: Come on, you39。re going to Bloomingdales with Julie? That39。s like cheating on Rachel in her house of worship. MONICA: But I39。m PHOEBE: Monica, she will kill you. She will kill you like a dog in the street. ROSS: So, uh, Jules tells me you guys are going shopping tomorrow? MONICA: Yeah, uh, it39。s actually not that big a deal. ROSS: It39。s a big deal to me. This is great, Monica. I really appreciate this. MONICA: You39。re wele. PHOEBE: Woof, woof. [Scene: A Department Store, Joey is selling men39。s cologne.] JOEY: Bijan for men? Bijan for men? Bijan for men? Hey Annabelle. ANNABELLE: Hey, Joey. So did you hear about the new guy? JOEY: Who? ANNABELLE: Nobody knows his name. Me and the girls just call him the Hombre man. JOEY: What39。s he doin39。 in my section? ANNABELLE: I guess he doesn39。t know. JOEY: Well, he39。s gonna. I39。ll see you a little later, ok? Hey, how ya doin39。? TODD: Mornin39。. JOEY: Listen, I know you39。re new, but it39。s kinda understood that everything from Young Men39。s to the escalator is my territory. TODD: Your territory, huh? JOEY: Yeah. Bijan for men? GUY: No thanks. TODD: Hombre? GUY: Yeah. All right. TODD: You were saying? [Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there as Monica enters.] MONICA: Phoebe, listen. You were with me, and we were shopping all day. PHOEBE: What? MONICA: We were shopping, and we had lunch. PHOEBE: Oh, all right. What did I have? MONICA: You had a salad. PHOEBE: Oh, no wonder I don39。t feel full. RACHEL: (entering) Hey, guys, what39。s up. PHOEBE: I went shopping with Monica all day, and I had a salad. RACHEL: Good, Pheebs. What39。d you buy? PHOEBE: Um, we went shopping for um, for, fur. RACHEL: You went shopping for fur? PHOEBE: Yes, and then I realized I39。m against that, and uh, so then we bought some, (sees Monica pointing at her chest) uh, boobs. RACHEL: You bought boobs? PHOEBE: (Monica is yanking on her bra strap) Bras! We bought bras! We bought bras. [Scene: The Department Store, Joey is trying to sell some cologne.] JOEY: Bijan for men? Hey, Annabelle, Uh, listen, I was wondering if maybe after work you and I could go maybe grab a cup of coffee. ANNABELLE: Oh, actually I sorta have plans. TODD: Ready, Annabelle? ANNABELLE: You bet. Maybe some other time? JOEY: Hey, it39。s not the first time I lost a girl to a cowboy spraying cologne. Bijan for men? [Scene: Monica and Rachel39。s, Carol is dropping Ben off for Ross to watch.] CAROL: Ok, and this is Funny Clown. Funny Clown is only for after his naps, not before his naps or he won39。t sleep. ROSS: Carol, we39。ve been through this before, ok? We have a good time. We laugh, we play. It39。s like we39。re father and son. SUSAN: Honey, relax. Ross is great with him. Don39。t look so surprised. I39。m a lovely person. RACHEL: Oh, this is so cute. SUSAN: Oh, I got that for him. ROSS: My mommies love me. That39。s clever. MONICA: Hello? Oh, Hi, Ju Hi, Jew! Uh huh? Uh huh? Ok. Um, sure, that39。d be great. See ya then. Bye. RACHEL: Did you just say Hi, Jew? MONICA: Yes. Uh, yes, I did. That was my friend, Eddie Moskowitz. Yeah, he likes it. Reaffirms his faith. PHOEBE: Ben, dinner! ROSS: Thanks Aunt Pheebs. Hey, you didn39。t microwave that, did you, because it39。s breast milk, and you39。re not supposed to do that. PHOEBE: Duh, I think I know how to heat breast milk. Ok. CHANDLER: What did you just do? PHOEBE: I licked my arm, what? ROSS: It39。s breast milk. PHOEBE: So? RACHEL: Phoebe, that is juice, squeezed from a person. JOEY: What is the big deal? CHANDLER: What did you just do? ROSS: Ok, would people stop drinking the breast milk? PHOEBE: You won39。t even taste it? ROSS: No! PHOEBE: Not even if you just pretend that it39。s milk? ROSS: Not even if Carol39。s breast had a picture of a missing child on it. MONICA: Hey, where is everybody? RACHEL: They took Ben to the park. Where39。ve you been? MONICA: Just out. Had some lunch, just me, little quality time with me. Thanks for your jacket. RACHEL: Oh, no problem. You can borrow it, by the way. Here are your keys, hon. Mon, if uh you were at lunch alone, how e it cost you uh 53 dollars? MONICA: You know what probably happened? Someone musta stolen my credit card. RACHEL: And sorta just put the receipt back in your pocket MONICA: That is an excellent excellent question. That is excellent. RACHEL: Monica, what is with you? Who39。d you have lunch with? MONICA: Judy. RACHEL: Who? MONICA: Julie. RACHEL: What? MONICA: Jody. RACHEL: You were with Julie? MONICA: Look, when it started I was just trying to be nice to her because she was my brother39。s girlfriend. And then, one thing led to another and, before I knew it, we were...shopping. RACHEL: Oh. Oh my god. M