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【正文】 Empathy requires us to focus fully on the other person39。s message, listening for their observations, feelings, needs and request. Receiving Empathically Regardless of what others say, we only listen for what they are observing, feeling, needing, and requesting. As part of the listening process we paraphrase—but not just for content. When we paraphrase for underlying feeling, needs and requests, we help others clearly express themselves, and we are less likely to personalize. Expressing Anger Fully The first step to fully expressing anger is to accept that the other person is never responsible for our anger. (this can be a tough one!) We rid ourselves of thoughts such as, He made me angry when he…. This type of thinking leads us to express anger superficially by blaming the other person. Distinguishing Stimulus from Cause We are never angry because of what others say or do. We can identify the behavior of others as a stimulus for our anger, but it is important to see the clear separation between stimulus and cause. ? For example, my friend Bob was late the other day… Expressing Anger Fully The cause of anger lies in our own thinking. When we think thoughts of blame, faultfinding or judgment (should thoughts), anger often follows. Expressing Anger Fully The presence of anger indicates that we have moved away from focusing on what we need, and moved toward analyzing or judging someone’s (even our own) behavior. You can use anger as an ―alarm clock‖ that can help you refocus your awareness, back to what you are needing, but not expressing. Case Studies Lisa and Toby: Lisa’s big promotion! (names changed to protect the innocent) Wele to the coop… (hey isn’t that short for cooperative?) Thank You! To learn more about NVC, please see: ? Nonviolent munication: A language of passion, by Marshall B. Rosenberg, . 2021, Puddle Dancer Press. ? Center for Nonviolent Communiciation:
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