ted-演講-如何成為一個(gè)更好的交談?wù)?編輯修改稿)
2024-11-19 05:43 本頁(yè)面
【文章內(nèi)容簡(jiǎn)介】 你完全得到了他人的理解。沒(méi)有理由說(shuō)，你大部分人際互動(dòng)不能成為那樣，我有10條基本規(guī)則，我會(huì)一條條給你們解釋?zhuān)f(shuō)真的，如果你選擇一條并且熟練掌握，你就已經(jīng)可以享受更愉快的交談了。Number one: Don39。t multitask. And I don39。t mean just set down your cell phone or your tablet or your car keys or whatever is in your hand. I mean, be present. Be in that moment. Don39。t think about your argument you had with your boss. Don39。t think about what you39。re going to have for dinner. If you want to get out of the conversation, get out of the conversation, but don39。t be half in it and half out of it.第一條：不要三心二意。我不是說(shuō)單純放下你的手機(jī)、平板電腦、車(chē)鑰匙，或者隨便什么握在手里的東西。我的意思是，處在當(dāng)下。進(jìn)入那個(gè)情境中去。不要想著你之前和老板的爭(zhēng)吵。不要想著你晚飯吃什么。如果你想退出交談，就退出交談。但不要身在曹營(yíng)心在漢。Number two: Don39。t pontificate. If you want to state your opinion without any opportunity for response or argument or pushback or growth, write a blog. Now, there39。s a really good reason why I don39。t allow pundits on my show: Because they39。re really boring. If they39。re conservative, they39。re going to hate Obama and food stamps and abortion. If they’re liberal, they39。re going to hate big banks and oil corporations and Dick Cheney. Totally predictable. And you don39。t want to be like that. You need to enter every conversation assuming that you have something to learn. The famed therapist M. Scott Peck said that true listening requires a setting aside of oneself. And sometimes that means setting aside your personal opinion. He said that sensing this acceptance, the speaker will bee less and less vulnerable and more and more likely to open up the inner recesses of his or her mind to the listener. Again, assume that you have something to learn. Bill Nye: Everyone you will ever meet knows something that you don39。t. I put it this way: Everybody is an expert in something.第二條：不要好為人師。如果你想要表達(dá)自己的看法，又不想留下任何機(jī)會(huì)讓人回應(yīng)、爭(zhēng)論、反駁或闡發(fā)，寫(xiě)博客去。有個(gè)很好的理由來(lái)說(shuō)明我的談話里為什么不允許有“專(zhuān)家說(shuō)教”：因?yàn)檎娴暮軣o(wú)聊。如果對(duì)方是個(gè)保守派，那一定討厭奧巴馬、食品券和墮胎。如果對(duì)方是個(gè)自由派，那一定會(huì)討厭大銀行、石油公司和迪克切尼。完全可以預(yù)測(cè)的。你肯定不希望那樣。你需要在進(jìn)入每一次交流時(shí)都假定自己可以學(xué)習(xí)到一些東西。派克說(shuō)過(guò)，真正的傾聽(tīng)需要把自己放在一邊。有時(shí)候，這意味著把你的個(gè)人觀點(diǎn)放在一邊。他說(shuō)感受到這種接納，說(shuō)話的人會(huì)變得越來(lái)越不脆弱敏感，因而越來(lái)越有可能打開(kāi)自己的內(nèi)心世界， 呈現(xiàn)給傾聽(tīng)者。 再?gòu)?qiáng)調(diào)一遍，假定你需要學(xué)習(xí)新東西。比爾奈伊說(shuō)：“每一個(gè)你將要見(jiàn)到的人都有你不知道的東西?！蔽襾?lái)復(fù)述一下：每個(gè)人都是某方面的專(zhuān)家。Number three: Use openended questions. In this case, take a cue from journalists. Start your questions with who, what, when, where, why or how. If you put in a plicated question, you’re going to get a simple answer out. If I ask you Were you terrified? you39。re going to respond to the most powerful word in that sentence, which is terrified and the answer is Yes, I was or No, I wasn’t. Were you angry? Yes, I was very angry. Let them describe it. They39。re the ones that know. Try asking them things like, What was that like? How did that feel? Because then they might have to stop
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