【正文】 azing. By recounting personal experiences and telling history, Steinhart showed us the spell of the moon. The excerpts we chose are about one of his moongazing experiences on a hill nearby his home. Introduction stranded:擱淺的 ,進退兩難的 ? I leaned about its gifts one July evening in the mountains. My car had mysteriously stalled, and I was stranded and alone. The sun had set, and I was watching what seemed to be the bright orange glow of a forest fire beyond a ridge to the east. 我是七月某夜在山間 獲其厚贈 的。 beyond →越過 夕陽已落于山后，余暉被前方的山脈所阻擋，而作者在山的另一頭，如何欣賞到夕陽的余輝？ 照射？投射！ 點評： Very good! 修訂：夕陽西沉 ? Suddenly, the ridge itself seemed to burst into flame. Then, the rising moon, huge and red and grotesquely misshapen by the dust and sweat of the summer atmosphere, loomed up out of the woods. 突然間，那道山脈似乎也燃燒了起來。 ? Distorted thus by the hot breath of earth, the moon seemed illtempered and imperfect. Dogs nearby farmhouse barked nervously, as if this strange light had wakened evil spirits in the weeds. 月亮于是被大地灼熱的氣息 扭曲 了面目： 貌 似 躁戾 ， 相 若 有缺 。從火紅、到橘紅、到金色、再到清冷的淺黃，其 容顏 都在不斷更易。 plexion:面色 →容顏 運用擬人的手法 darkening表示正在變黑，強調過程。 ? By the time the moon stood clear of the horizon, full chested and round and the colour of ivory, the valleys were deep shadows in the landscape. The dogs, reassured that this was the familiar moon, stopped barking. And all at once I felt a confidence and joy close to laughter. 直至 月 滿 高掛、色若象牙 之時，幽谷便成了山水間的重重陰影。月出進程緩慢而漸變微妙。 be serried with: 被 …擠滿 subtlety: 微妙 , 細微之處 slip into: 滑入 Inexorably: 無情地 , 不可動搖地 點評：Excellent! 后半部分句式結構與措辭很有韻味。 這出戲 ? 指月出的過程 與前文介紹古代獵人觀月相照應 : … Moongazing is an ancient art. To prehistoric hunters the moon overhead was as unerring as a heartbeat... V1:月出緩慢而充滿微妙之處 . V1:欲觀此景 ? 不能較好強調過程 The drama took an hour. Moonrise is slow and serried with subtleties. To watch it, we must slip into an older, more patient sense of time. To watch the moon move inexorably higher is to find an unusual stillness within ourselves. Our imaginations bee aware of the vast distance of space, the immensity of the earth and the huge improbability of our own existence. We feel small but privileged. 看著月亮 不可阻逆 地高升，也就是在我們內心求索一種不尋常的靜謐。在這光芒 [華 ]里，山坡 柔若銀緞 ，海洋 靜泛幽藍 。在那個七月的夜里，我 欣賞 了一兩小時的月色，然后 回到 車上， 轉動鑰匙 ，便聽到 了引擎發(fā)動的聲響，這正如數小時前它無故熄火時一般令人費解。這經常發(fā)生于秋季。這經常發(fā)生于秋季。 要點 : 語序調整 增譯 ? The drama took an hour. Moonrise is slow and serried with subtleties. To watch it, we must slip into an older, more patient sense of time. To watch the moon move inexorably higher is to find an unusual stillness within ourselves. Our imaginations bee aware of the vast distance of space, the immensity of the earth and the huge improbability of our own existence. We feel small but privileged. ? Moonlight shows us none of life’s harder edges. Hillsides seem silken and silvery, the oceans still and blue in its light. In moonlight we bee less calculating, more drawn to our feelings. ? 這一幕持續(xù)了一小時之久。我們會 聯想 到宇宙的廣袤、大地的無垠，以及自身得以存在的 渺茫幾率 ，然后，自嘆卑微卻又受寵若驚。 (例 :用“漸變、變 ” 等詞強調過程 。 之后 我便從山上駛下，帶著滿肩月光，還有一心的寧靜安詳。那時我便會登上我的山坡，靜候一輪