【正文】 ? 4) 對要點(diǎn)的概括總結(jié)還可明晰些。 ? 后來， 我便經(jīng)?；厝テ肺哆@醉人月升。 ? 月光 收起 了生活中的堅硬棱角。 點(diǎn)題 經(jīng)調(diào)整語序再按中文習(xí)慣提前狀語后 .. V1當(dāng)瑣事將安逸與慧眼之明逼進(jìn)我生活的小角落 ..? events crowd 。 點(diǎn)火裝置鑰匙 ?油門鑰匙 ??避免累贅 依語境省略 對 in the ignition 的翻譯 要點(diǎn) : 動詞系列的翻譯 ? And odd things happen in such moments. On that July night, I watched the moon for an hour or two, and then got back into the car, turned the key in the ignition and heard the engine start, just as mysteriously as it had stalled a few hours earlier. I drove down from the mountains with the moon on my shoulder and peace in my heart. 之后 我便從山上駛下， 帶著 滿肩月光，還有一心的寧靜安詳。我們會聯(lián)想到宇宙的廣袤、大地的無垠，以及自身得以存在的 渺茫幾率 ，然后， 自嘆卑微卻又受寵若驚 。欲觀此變，我們須換以一種更加古老沉穩(wěn)的時間感。 陷入黑暗？ →它強(qiáng)調(diào)的是已經(jīng)黑暗的狀態(tài)。 農(nóng)舍旁的狗群不安地吠叫起來，仿佛這異樣的月光喚醒了草叢間的鬼魅。那次，車子莫名其妙地熄火了，而我則 只身 受困 于這 深山密林 中。 grotesquely:奇異地 ,荒誕地 misshapen:殘缺的 ,畸形的 loomed up:蒙朧地出現(xiàn) loomed up:蒙朧地出現(xiàn)“冉冉浮升”，體現(xiàn)了月出一個緩緩升起的過程 grotesquely:奇異地 misshapen:畸形的 ↓ 形態(tài)怪異 調(diào)整語序 點(diǎn)評： Good! 不過注意 loomed up 的內(nèi)涵特征： e into sight dimly,esp. as a vague and often threatening ：一輪紅月從 林間冉冉浮升 , 月輪之巨，顏色之艷， 令人悚然 ，皆因 塵埃和暑汽之故而顯形態(tài) 之 異。因為隨著它的起升，群山萬壑都漸而晦暗難見了。 剎那間 ，我 頓時 感到自信滿懷，無比愉悅，幾近要放聲大笑起來。月出進(jìn)程緩慢而 漸變微妙 。 V1 掩蔽 ?? → 暗含貶義 V2 包容 ?? → 褒義過露 我們認(rèn)為作者在此處確實意欲贊美月光的魔力 ,然而從原文措辭可見其喜愛之情并非直白表露 . V3 收起 → 表現(xiàn)月亮似乎也同情 塵世的爭執(zhí)摩擦 ,于是暗中相助 山 : Silken光滑 如 絲綢 的 Silvery似 銀 的 ,銀色的 海 : Still 靜 止 blue藍(lán) 色 柔若銀緞 靜泛幽藍(lán) 點(diǎn)評： Excellent! 譯文修訂：在月輝的沐浴下，我們少了些許 ……, 卻多了幾分 …… 。 crowd A into B: 擠進(jìn) hunter’s moon: The first full moon following the harvest moon. 天文 獵月：收獲月后的第一次滿月 點(diǎn)評： Excellent! ? I return often to the rising moon. I am drawn especially when events crowd ease and clarity of vision into a small corner of my life. This happens often in the fall. Then I go to my hill and wait the hunter’s moon, enormous and gold over the horizon, filling the night with vision. ? 后來 ，我便經(jīng)常 回去品味這醉人月升 。欲觀此 變 ，我們須換以一種更加 古老沉穩(wěn) 的時間感。 其他黃字部分亦為主要譯例 ) 要點(diǎn)小結(jié) ? And odd things happen in such moments. On that July night, I watched the moon for an hour or two, and then got back into the car, turned the key in the ignition and heard the engine start, just as mysteriously as it had stalled a few hours earlier. I drove down from the mountains with the moon on my shoulder and peace in my heart. ? I return often to the rising moon. I am drawn especially when events crowd ease and clarity of vision into a small corner of my life. This happens often in the fall. Then I go to my hill and wait the hunter’s moon, enormous and gold over the horizon, filling the night with vision. ? 而怪事也就是在這些時候發(fā)生的?！敖瘘S”等形容詞合理調(diào)位 ) (例 :之后 ,后來等關(guān)聯(lián)詞增補(bǔ) 。 lonely, white winter moons rising into the utter silence of an inkback sky and smokesmudged orange moons over the dry fields of summer. Each, like fine music, excited my heart and the calmed my soul. ? Moongazing is an ancient art. To prehistoric hunters the moon overhead was as unerring as a heartbeat. They knew that every 29 days it became fullbellied and brilliant, then sickened and died, and then was reborn. They knew the waxing moon appeared larger and higher overhead after each succeeding suns