【正文】
漢對(duì)照,英語(yǔ)表達(dá)精妙處一覽無(wú)遺。譯文沒(méi)少用修飾語(yǔ),卻無(wú)堆砌感。全文句式長(zhǎng)短相交,節(jié)奏快慢有序,如行云流水,加上metaphor的襯托,極富美感。10. 峽內(nèi)重巒疊峰,連綿不盡,奇峰異嶺,高插入云,云霧彌漫,迷幻莫測(cè)。On both sides of the gorges there are range upon range of rolling mountains. Everywhere you can see cliffs of unique shapes and peaks of fantastic aspects towering into the clouds. The mist and the lowlying clouds add an aura of mystery to the raw natural beauty.(峽谷兩邊是層層群山,到處可見(jiàn)形狀獨(dú)特的峭壁和奇異的山峰聳入云端。霧和低垂的云塊給這種原始的自然美增添了一種神秘的光彩。)11. 在那里,古樹(shù)搖曳春秋,山花自謝自開(kāi),植被茸茸生煙,海子和瀑布隨著季節(jié)的推移而變幻多姿。Aged trees wave the seasons by, amid carpets of wild flowers and thick green vegetation. Sparkling lakes and waterfalls vary with every season.(在地毯般的野花和深綠植物中,古樹(shù)搖過(guò)一個(gè)個(gè)季節(jié)。閃亮的湖和瀑布隨各個(gè)季節(jié)不同而變化)。12. 她(黃河)奔騰不息,勇往直前,忽而驚濤裂岸,勢(shì)不可擋,使群山動(dòng)容;忽而安如處子,風(fēng)平浪靜,波光瀲滟(lian yan),氣象萬(wàn)千。It tears and boils along turbulently through the mountains and, at some place, flows on quietly with a sedate appearance and glistening ripples. 漢語(yǔ)氣勢(shì)磅市,情感橫溢;英譯直觀簡(jiǎn)潔,形象生動(dòng),但不及漢語(yǔ)那么多主觀色彩(“群山動(dòng)容”,“靜如處子”),卻都極好地表達(dá)了同一意境,可謂異曲同工。13. 上海某年桂花節(jié)有這樣一篇文字介紹:“滿樹(shù)金花,芳香四溢的金桂;花白如雪,香氣撲鼻的銀桂;紅里透黃,花多味濃的紫砂桂;花色似銀,季季有花的四季桂,競(jìng)相開(kāi)放,爭(zhēng)妍媲美。進(jìn)入桂林公園,陣陣桂花香撲鼻而來(lái)。”上述漢語(yǔ)文字重復(fù),詞藻堆砌,純粹出于行文順口的需要,無(wú)多大實(shí)際意義,且有些花名很難找到相應(yīng)的英文。這種情況就需用另外的方法,大幅度改寫(xiě)了:The Park of Sweet Osmanthus is noted for its profusion of osmanthus. Flowers from these trees in different colors pervade the whole garden with their fragrance. (桂花公園以其眾多的桂花而著名,園內(nèi)桂樹(shù)上色彩各異的桂花盛開(kāi),使公園充滿了花的香味。)“旅游翻譯初探”——閔大勇上述各例中漢語(yǔ)原有的華麗溢美之辭在英譯文中大都省去未譯,而以直觀可感、明快流暢的英譯文取而代之,充分反映出漢、英民族在審美意識(shí)上的差異。前面講過(guò),漢語(yǔ)長(zhǎng)于借景抒情,托物寄情,所謂“山之精神寫(xiě)不出,以煙霞寫(xiě)之,春之精神寫(xiě)不出,以草木寫(xiě)之”(《藝概》),一景一物,皆有靈性,主觀色彩極濃,所用語(yǔ)言簡(jiǎn)雋空靈,近乎詩(shī)化,充滿詩(shī)情畫(huà)意,具有一種朦朧美。而英語(yǔ)則不同,英語(yǔ)表達(dá)精細(xì)深刻,描繪直觀可感。寫(xiě)景手法上多訴諸于具象的景物羅列而使之形象可感,具有一種明快酣暢之美。難怪美國(guó)人詹姆斯鄧恩對(duì)漢詩(shī)英譯會(huì)說(shuō)這樣的話:“也許把中國(guó)詩(shī)譯成英文詩(shī)的最重要問(wèn)題是目標(biāo)語(yǔ)言不能像原始版本那樣容納那么多的歧義以及由此所產(chǎn)生的那么多語(yǔ)義的濃縮。這種藏而不露的表達(dá)使許多東西變得模糊不清”(劉新明《中英詩(shī)歌語(yǔ)言比較》,1994),這就一語(yǔ)道破了漢語(yǔ)寫(xiě)詩(shī)(也是寫(xiě)景)手法上的特點(diǎn):藏而不露,追求一種含蓄美。漢語(yǔ)景物描寫(xiě)用詞大多寬泛深遠(yuǎn),行文華麗多彩,主觀色彩濃厚,“以我觀物,故物皆著我之色彩”(王國(guó)維《人間話語(yǔ)》),講究“意與境渾”,情景交融,因而景物刻畫(huà)不求明晰,多帶模糊思維的痕跡。例如用“灼灼”形容桃花之明艷,用“依依”曲尺楊樹(shù)之輕柔,到底是何景象不予明說(shuō),任讀者自行品味,“藏而不露”者甚多。所以,從這個(gè)意義上來(lái)說(shuō),漢語(yǔ)這類景物描寫(xiě)大多含蓄朦朧,表達(dá)形式近似詩(shī)歌,音意韻俱佳,因而容易使人按譯詩(shī)的手法來(lái)翻譯它;但是,從另一方面來(lái)看,盡管這類漢語(yǔ)有詩(shī)一樣優(yōu)美的語(yǔ)言和神韻,但它終究不是詩(shī),至少?zèng)]有詩(shī)詞那樣講究格律和音、形、意美的統(tǒng)一,形式上多用散文體,所以它的翻譯又不完全等同于譯詩(shī),因而翻譯時(shí)可不必太在意原文的格律和形式。這是一個(gè)事物的兩個(gè)方面。漢語(yǔ)的景物描寫(xiě)盡管有“藏而不露”的特點(diǎn),但在表現(xiàn)手法上,它也常借助某種意境的烘托引喚出讀者心中相應(yīng)的形象來(lái)領(lǐng)略其美,這種引喚出的形象大多鮮明生動(dòng),因?yàn)樾蜗缶哂兄庇^可感性,正好與英語(yǔ)寫(xiě)景的表現(xiàn)手法不謀而合。因此,在這類文章漢譯英的過(guò)程中,若能對(duì)漢語(yǔ)原文斟詞酌句認(rèn)真推敲,就能透過(guò)其華麗的外表辨明虛實(shí),抓住具體形象,找出符合英語(yǔ)表達(dá)特點(diǎn)的實(shí)質(zhì)性內(nèi)容來(lái),真正做到化“虛”為“實(shí)”,避免譯文表達(dá)的“模糊不清”。這里,不妨分析一下上述兩例的處理手法:1. 兩岸樹(shù)木蔥蘢,鮮花繁茂,芳草萋萋,……。漢語(yǔ)三個(gè)四字結(jié)構(gòu)并列增強(qiáng)了全文色彩,特別是“蔥蘢”、“繁茂”、“萋萋”三詞的疊用,音韻俱佳且無(wú)重復(fù)之嫌。但若照字直譯,英語(yǔ)文字必然累贅。其實(shí),若按英語(yǔ)的思維,這三個(gè)詞在文中表達(dá)的實(shí)則是一個(gè)意思:“生長(zhǎng)茂盛”,再結(jié)合“樹(shù)、花、草”等實(shí)物(去掉“鮮”“芳”二字),就形成了這種直觀簡(jiǎn)潔的表達(dá):Trees, flowers and grass, a picture of natural vitality, thrive on both banks …2. 她奔騰不息,勇往直前,忽而驚濤裂岸,勢(shì)不可擋,使群山動(dòng)容;忽而安如處子,風(fēng)平浪靜,波光瀲(lan4)滟(yan4),氣象萬(wàn)千。It tears and boils along turbulently through the mountains and, at some place, flows on quietly with a sedate appearance and glistening ,情感色彩濃厚,渲染出一股氣勢(shì)。但若在譯文中全盤(pán)譯出,勢(shì)必語(yǔ)言啰嗦、華而不實(shí)。其實(shí),從英語(yǔ)的思維角度來(lái)分析,漢語(yǔ)眾多的描寫(xiě)中實(shí)際只有兩個(gè)場(chǎng)面:江濤奔涌穿山而過(guò)的景象和波光瀲滟靜水流淌的情景,實(shí)際物象都隱含在諸如“奔騰”、“直前”、“裂岸”、“群山”、“波光”、“驚濤”、“浪靜”等詞匯之中。抓住了這些直觀的物象,就抓住了譯文的根本,就能以此而化“虛”為“實(shí)”,譯出符合英語(yǔ)習(xí)慣的譯文來(lái)。下面,請(qǐng)進(jìn)一步分析對(duì)照下述各例改進(jìn)前后的不同譯法:1. 人們可沿巖壁鑿出的石徑走過(guò)峽谷,也可從某處乘橡皮舟劃過(guò)水潭。滿山巨石怪崖,更有深潭碧水,懸崖上多處瀑布驟然跌落,直下峭壁。當(dāng)?shù)厝酥v,這里夏季涼爽宜人,冬秋溫暖如春,生活在此,如居天上人間。 People can pass through the gorge by walking along the stone path cut from the rock walls, or in some places can row across the pools in rubber boats. Everywhere you can see huge rocks and grotesque cliffs, clean water in deep pools, and from precipices waterfalls abruptly fall down. The local people say, it is cool and nice here in summer and as warm as spring in winter. Living here is as if living in a fairyland. 1)“巨石怪崖、深潭碧水”等用詞均重復(fù)堆砌;2)行文用字仍擺不脫漢語(yǔ)思維方式,表達(dá)欠簡(jiǎn)潔。改譯:People can pass through the gorge by walking along the path cut out of stone walls and in some parts rubber boats are used to row across the pools. Weird giant rocks, green pools and waterfalls plunge down the precipice. The local say it is cool here in summer and blessed with the warmth of spring in winter. Living here is like dwelling in an ethereal land.2. 春雨降臨,漫坡的野花遍布座座山腰;低洼處小黃花成千上萬(wàn)競(jìng)相開(kāi)放;更有藍(lán)色的騰納霓花,把草地也隨之抹染得一片湛藍(lán)。Spring rains e with a mass of wild flowers covering the slopes of every hill, thousands of small yellow flowers in the lowlands pete in bloom, and other blue flowers, later turned the grasslands into blue.“漫坡”與“遍布山腰”有重復(fù),句式和用詞與原文扣得太死。改譯:Spring rains bring an abundance of wildflowers on the hillsides. In the lowlands, small yellow flowers spring up in their thousands and the blue flowers, later color the grasslands blue. 1)an abundance of畫(huà)龍點(diǎn)睛,充分表達(dá)了“漫坡”與“遍布’”的意境。2)spring up in their thousands、color等詞句使用地道、貼切。3. 張家界以水顯幽。這里,石縫間的山泉,幽谷中的潛流,匯成五條溪流、四處白沙泉水、兩處懸?guī)r飛瀑,蜿蜒曲折,東流而下,與紅巖綠樹(shù)相輝映,構(gòu)成一幅天然的山水畫(huà)。Zhangjiajie is tranquil with its waters. Springs gush out of crevices and brooks flow through the valleys to converge into five streams, four white sand pools and two tumbling falls. The streams meandering down eastward between reddish rocks and green trees form long scrolls of landscape painting.(該景點(diǎn)簡(jiǎn)介)(1)漢語(yǔ)最后一分句譯出略顯多余;(2)“潛流”之意體現(xiàn)不足;(3)句式略顯累贅。不妨改譯:Zhangjiajie is tranquil with its waters: springs gush out of crevices and brooks slip through the valleys. Here five streams, four white sand pools and two waterfalls converge to meander down eastward between reddish rocks and green trees.(1)slip較好地表現(xiàn)了“潛流”之意;(2)省去最后評(píng)述性話語(yǔ)全文更簡(jiǎn)練達(dá)意,提供具體的實(shí)景給讀者留出想象的空間,興許更吸引人。4. 這里 3,000座奇峰拔地而起,形態(tài)各異,有的似玉柱神鞭,立地頂天;有的像銅墻鐵壁,巍然屹立;有的如晃板壘卵,搖搖欲墜;有的若盆景古董,玲瓏剔透……(原文標(biāo)點(diǎn))神奇而又真實(shí),迷離而又實(shí)在,不是藝術(shù)創(chuàng)造勝似藝術(shù)創(chuàng)造,令人嘆為觀止。3,000 crags rise in various shapes. They are like whips or pillars or propping up the sky。 or huge walls, solid and sound, or immense eggs plied on an unsteady boarder。 or miniature rocky or curios … Fantastic but actual, dreamy but real!They are not artistic works, but more exquisite than artistic works. One can not help marveling at the acme of perfection of Nature’s creation.(《武陵源風(fēng)景》)英漢對(duì)照,行文用字一絲不差,可謂“忠實(shí)”,然而譯文用詞重復(fù)堆砌,表達(dá)華而不實(shí),與英語(yǔ)的行文表達(dá)習(xí)慣相差太遠(yuǎn),且有的地方莫明其妙(whip怎能prop up the sky?)。試改譯: Three thousand crags rise in various shapes – pillars, columns, walls, shaky egg stacks and potted landscapes… conjuring up fantastic and unforgettable images. 當(dāng)然還有其它譯法,遇到高手,譯文會(huì)更貼切。第二節(jié)