【正文】 the shop floor is all slippery. 39。I39。ll take them, please,39。 I say, and beam happily at the assistant.You see, this is the reward for taking such a controlled approach to shopping. When you buy something, you really feel as though you39。ve earned it.We head towards the checkout, and I keep my eyes carefully away from the rack of accessories. In fact, I barely even notice that purple bag with the jet beading.And I39。m just reaching into my bag for my purse, congratulating myself on being so singleminded, when the assistant says conversationally, 39。You know, we39。ve got these sandals in clementine (type of small sweet orange), as well.39。Clementine?39。Oh... right,39。 I say after a pause. I39。m not interested. I39。ve got what I came in to buy and that39。s the end of the story. Lilac sandals. Not clementine ones.39。They39。ve just e in,39。 she adds, rooting around on the floor. 39。I think they39。re going to be even more popular than the lilac.39。39。Really?39。 I say, trying to sound as indifferent as I can. 39。Well, I39。ll just take these, I think ...39。39。Here it is!39。 she exclaims. 39。I knew there was one around here somewhere.39。And I freeze, as she puts the most exquisite scandal I39。ve ever seen onto the counter. It39。s a pale, creamy orange colour, with the same strappy shape as the lilac one, but instead of the blackberry, there39。s a tiny clementine by the toe.It39。s instant love. I can39。t move my eyes away.39。Would you like to try it?39。 says the girl, and I feel a lurch of desire, right to the pit of my stomach.Just look at it. It39。s delicious. It39。s the most darling shoe I39。ve ever seen. Oh God. But I don39。t need a pair of clementine shoes, do I? I don39。t need them. Come on, Becky. Just. Say. No.39。Actually...39。 I swallow hard, trying to get control of my voice. 39。Actually ...39。 God, I can hardly say it. 39。I39。ll just take the lilac ones today,39。 I manage eventually. 39。Thank you.39。39。OK...39。 The girl punches a code into the till. 39。That39。ll be 163。89, then. How would you like to pay?39。39。Er... Visa card, please,39。 I say. I sign the slip, take my bag, and leave the shop, feeling slightly numb.I did it! I did it! I controlled my desires! I only needed one pair of shoes, and I only bought one. In and out of the shop, pletely according to plan. You see, this is what I can do when I really want to. This is the new Becky Bloomwood.Having been so good, I deserve a little reward, so I go to a coffee shop and sit down outside in the sun with a cappuccino.I want those clementine shoes, pops into my head as I take the first sip.Stop. Stop it. Think about... something else. Luke. The holiday. Our first ever holiday together. God, I can39。t wait.I39。ve been wanting to suggest a holiday ever since Luke and I started to go out, but he works so hard, it would be like asking the Prime Minister to give up running the country for a bit. (Except e to think of it, he does that every summer, doesn39。t he? So how e Luke can39。t?)Luke39。s so busy, he hasn39。t even met my parents yet, which I39。m a bit upset about. They asked him over for Sunday lunch, a few weeks ago, and Mum spent ages cooking, or at least, she bought apricotstuffed loin of pork from Sainsbury39。s and a really posh chocolate meringue pudding. But at the last minute he had to cancel because there was a crisis with one of his clients in the Sunday papers. So I had to go on my own – and it was all rather miserable, to be honest. You could tell Mum was really disappointed, but she kept saying brightly, 39。Oh well, it was only a casual arrangement39。, which it wasn39。t. He sent her a huge bouquet of flowers the next day to apologize (or at least, Mel, his assistant, did), but it39。s not the same, is it?The worst bit was that our nextdoor neighbours, Janice and Martin, popped in for a glass of sherry and 39。to meet the famous Luke39。, as they put it, and when they found out he wasn39。t there, they kept giving me all these pitying looks tinged with smugness, because their son Tom is getting married to his girlfriend Lucy next week. And I have a horrible suspicion that they think I have a crush on him. (Which I don39。t, in fact, quite the reverse. But once people believe something like that, it39。s pletely impossible to convince them otherwise. Oh God. Hideous.)When I got upset with Luke, he pointed out that I39。ve never met his parents, either. But that39。s not quite true. I have briefly spoken to his dad and stepmum in a restaurant once, even if it wasn39。t my most glittering moment. And anyway, they live in Devon, and Luke39。s real mum lives in New York. So I mean, they39。re not exactly handy, are they?Still, we made up, and at least he39。s making the effort to e on this little holiday. It was Mel, actually, who suggested the weekend idea. She told me Luke hadn39。t had a proper holiday for three years, and maybe he had to be weaned gently on to the idea. So I stopped talking about holidays and started talking about weekends away, and that did the trick! All of a sudden Luke told me to set aside this weekend. He booked the hotel himself and everything. I39。m so looking forward to it.We39。ll just do nothing but relax and take it easy – and spend some time with each other for a change. Lovely. I want those clementine shoes. Stop it. Stop thinking about them.I take another sip of coffee, lean back and force myself to survey the bustling street. People are striding along, holding bags and chatting, and there39。s a girl crossing the road with nice trousers on, which I think e from Nicole Farhi and... Oh God.A middleaged man in a dark suit is ing along the road towards me, and I recognize him. It39。s Derek Smeath, my bank manager.Oh, and I think he39。s seen me.OK, don39。t panic, I instruct myself firmly. There39。s no need to panic. Maybe once upon a time I would have been thrown by seeing him. I might have tried to hide behind a menu, or perhaps even run away. But that39。s all in the past. These days, Sweetie Smeathie and I have a very honest and amicable relationship.Still, I find myself shifting my chair slightly further away from my LK Bennett bag,