【導(dǎo)讀】少來了，你和那個人一起出去！交往的男人一定有問題！打住，喬伊，嘴下留德。慢著，他吃粉筆嗎？我只是不想你重蹈我和卡爾的覆轍。各位別急，這不算約會。晚餐，而且不做愛。聽起來好像是說我的約會。發(fā)現(xiàn)自己全身赤裸。我低頭一看，看見有一支電話……我沒做過那樣的夢,沒有。個人都開始望著我。他們以前不看你嗎？！終于，我認為我應(yīng)該接，結(jié)果是我媽打來，這家伙向我打招呼時我就想自殺。子，從我的口中取出，然后綁在我脖上……卡羅今天把她的東西搬走了。-我?guī)湍闩荼Х?，別清理我的靈氣。好吧，保持晦氣！我會沒事的，真的，我祝她幸福。-我不會的，去她的，她甩掉我！而且你一直都不知道她是女同性戀者。為何大家都圍著這個話。連她不知道，我怎會知道。

　　

【正文】 這也算是工作吧？ 瞧，蓋佩多，我是個活生生的小男孩。 我不會理睬這種羞辱。 你說得對 ,抱歉。 我曾是個小木偶……小木偶…… 告訴你們，他死定了。 嗨，錢德勒？ Frannie: Oh, I hate you, I39。m pushing my Aunt Roz through Parrot Jungle and you39。re having sex! So? Who? Monica: You know Paul? Frannie: Paul the Wine Guy? Oh yeah, I know Paul. Monica: You mean you know Paul like I know Paul? Frannie: Are you kidding? I take credit for Paul. Y39。know before me, there was no snap in his turtle for two years. [Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Rachel is there.] Joey: (sitting on the arm of the couch)Of course it was a line! Monica: Why?! Why? Why, why would anybody do something like that? Ross: I assume we39。re looking for an answer more sophisticated than 39。to get you into bed39。. Monica: I hate men! I hate men! Phoebe: Oh no, don39。t hate, you don39。t want to put that out into the universe. Monica: Is it me? Is it like I have some sort of beacon that only dogs and men with severe emotional problems can hear? Phoebe: All right, c39。mere, gimme your feet. (She starts massaging them.) Monica: I just thought he was nice, y39。know? Joey: (bursts out laughing again) I can39。t believe you didn39。t know it was a line! (Monica pushes him off of the sofa as Rachel enters with a shopping bag.) Rachel: Guess what? Ross: You got a job? Rachel: Are you kidding? I39。m trained for nothing! I was laughed out of twelve interviews today. Chandler: And yet you39。re surprisingly upbeat. Rachel: You would be too if you found John and David boots on sale, fifty percent off! Chandler: Oh, how well you know me... Rachel: They39。re my new 39。I don39。t need a job, I don39。t need my parents, I39。ve got great boots39。 boots! Monica: How39。d you pay for them? Rachel: Uh, credit card. Monica: And who pays for that? Rachel: Um... my... father. [Scene: Monica and Rachel39。s, everyone is sitting around the kitchen table. Rachel39。s credit cards are spread out on the table along with a pair of scissors.] Rachel: Oh God, e on you guys, is this really necessary? I mean, I can stop charging anytime I want. Monica: C39。mon, you can39。t live off your parents your whole life. Rachel: I know that. That39。s why I was getting married. Phoebe: Give her a break, it39。s hard being on your own for the first time. Rachel: Thank you. Phoebe: You39。re wele. I remember when I first came to this city. I was fourteen. My mom had just killed herself and my stepdad was back in prison, and I got here, and I didn39。t know anybody. And I ended up living with this albino guy who was, like, cleaning windshields outside port authority, and then he killed himself, and then I found aromatherapy. So believe me, I know exactly how you feel. (Pause) 今天感覺如何？ 睡得還好吧？和巴瑞通過電話嗎？ 我無法停止笑。 我看得出來。 你這樣子像是昨晚口中含著衣架睡覺。 我知 道，他是那么…… 還記得你和東尼戴馬克？ 記得。 就像那樣。那樣感覺。 你惹上麻煩了。 大麻煩！ 需要婚紗嗎？幾乎沒用過的。 我想我們有點不知所以了。 我要清醒，去工作。 整天都不想他， 或者只是清醒然后去工作。 祝我幸運！ 為什么？ 我要去找工作。 嗨，莫妮卡！ 法蘭妮，歡迎回來！ 佛羅里達如何？ 你們上床了，對不？ 你怎么看出來的？ 哦，我恨你，我推著我的洛茲阿姨經(jīng)過帕羅叢林， 你卻在做愛！ 和誰呀？ 認識保羅嗎？ 保羅，那個調(diào)酒的？ 對，我認識保羅。 你認識保羅像我認識他一樣？ 愛說笑， 他還得謝我呢。 遇到我之前他已有兩年無法入道。 顯然他是騙你的！ 為什么？ 為什么會有人那樣做？ 我想答案比 ”設(shè)法騙你上床 ”更復(fù)雜。 我恨男人！我恨男人！ 不，別恨，你也不想把他們丟出宇宙吧。 問題出在我身上？ 難道我有特殊氣味。 只有狗和感情有嚴(yán)著問題的男人才聞得到。 過來，腳給我。 我以為他是個好男人。 我無法相信你不懂這是騙局。 猜猜看？ 你找到工作了？ Ross: The word you39。re looking for is 39。Anyway39。... Monica: All right, you ready? Rachel: No. No, no, I39。m not ready! How can I be ready? Hey, Rach! You ready to jump out the airplane without your parachute? Come on, I can39。t do this! Monica: You can, I know you can! Rachel: I don39。t think so. Ross: Come on, you made coffee! You can do anything! (Chandler slowly tries to hide the now dead plant from that morning when he and Joey poured their coffee into it.) Ross: C39。mon, cut. Cut, cut, cut,... All: Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut... (She cuts one of them and they cheer.) Rachel: Y39。know what? I think we can just leave it at that. It39。s kinda like a symbolic gesture... Monica: Rachel! That was a library card! All: Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut.. Chandler: (as Rachel is cutting up her cards) Y39。know, if you listen closely, you can hear a thousand retailers scream. (She finishes cutting them up and they all cheer.) Monica: Wele to the real world! It sucks. You39。re gonna love it! [Time Lapse, Rachel and Ross are watching a TV channel finishes it39。s broadcast day by playing the national anthem.] Monica: Well, that39。s it (To Ross) You gonna crash on the couch? Ross: No. No, I gotta go home sometime. Monica: You be okay? Ross: Yeah. Rachel: Hey Mon, look what I just found on the floor. (Monica smiles.) What? Monica: That39。s Paul39。s watch. You just put it back where you found it. Oh boy. Alright. Goodnight, everybody. Ross and Rachel: Goodnight. (Monica stomps on Paul39。s watch and goes into her room.) Ross: Mmm. (They both reach for the last cookie) Oh, no Rachel: Sorry Ross: No no no, go Rachel: No, you have it, really, I don39。t want it Ross: Split it? Rachel: Okay. Ross: Okay. (They split it.) You know you probably didn39。t know this, but back in high school, I had a, um, major crush on you. Rachel: I knew. Ross: You did! Oh.... I always figured you just thought I was Monica39。s geeky older brother. Rachel: I did. Ross: Oh. Listen, do you think and try not to let my intense vulnerability bee any kind of a factor here but do you think it would be okay if I asked you out? Sometime? Maybe? Rachel: Yeah, maybe... Ross: Okay... okay, maybe I will... Rachel: Goodnight. Ross: Goodnight. 開玩笑？ 我書都白念了！ 今天的十二個面試全泡湯了。 不過你卻異常興奮。 換成是你，你也會一樣。 如果你遇見 John and David的皮靴打五 折。 你真是太了解我了。 這是我的新皮靴， 我不需要工作，不需要父母， 因為我有新皮靴！ 你怎么付錢？ 信用卡啊。 卡費誰費？ 我爸。 天啊，好啦，有必要嗎？ 我是說，我可以隨時忍住揮霍的。 成熟點，你不能靠你爸一輩子。 我知道，所以我選擇結(jié)婚。 饒了她吧，第一次獨立并不輕