【正文】 恨不得殺了他。 The father tried his best, and he was a big man but the fact that she was his daughter, his shame at her behavior and his dread of hurting her made him release her just at the critical times when I had almost achieved success, till I wanted to kill him. 可是，因為又擔(dān)心她真會患上白喉，盡管他自己就快昏到了，他又告訴我繼續(xù)，繼續(xù)，而她的母親在我們的身后走來走去，憂愁萬分地抖著雙手。 But his dread also that she might have diphtheria made him tell me to go on, go on though he himself was almost fainting, while the mother moved back and forth behind us raising and lowering her hands in an agony of apprehension. 把她放在你的大腿上，我命令道，抓住她的兩個手腕。 Put her in front of you on your lap, I ordered, and hold both her wrists. 然而他剛一動手，女孩就尖叫了一聲。 But as soon as he did the child let out a scream. 別這樣，你會弄疼我的． Don’t, you’re hurting me. 放開我的手，放手，我告訴你。 Let go of my hands. Let them go I tell you. 接著她發(fā)出可怕的歇斯底里的尖叫，住手！住手！你會弄死我的！ Then she shrieked terrifyingly, hysterically. Stop it! Stop it! You’re killing me! 你覺得她受得了嗎？醫(yī)生！她母親說。 Do you think she can stand it, doctor! Said the mother. 你出去，丈夫?qū)λ钠拮诱f，你想讓她死于白喉嗎？ You get out, said the husband to his wife. Do you want her to die of diphtheria? 來吧，抓住她，我說道。 Come on now, hold her, I said. 接著我用左手掰住女孩的頭，并試圖將木制的壓舌板伸進她的嘴里。 Then I grasped the child’s head with my left hand and tried to get the wooden tongue depressor between her teeth. 她緊咬著牙絕望地反抗著！ She fought, with clenched teeth, desperately! 而此時我也變得狂怒了——對一個孩子。 But now I also had grown furiousat a child. 我試圖讓自己不要發(fā)脾氣，但卻做不到，我知道怎樣去檢查她的嗓子。 I tried to hold myself down but I couldn’t. I know how to expose a throat for inspection. 我盡了最大的努力。當(dāng)我終于把木制的壓舌板伸到最后一排牙齒的后面時，她張開了嘴，然而只是一瞬間，我還來不及看她又把嘴閉上了，沒等我把它取出來，她的臼齒已經(jīng)緊緊咬住了壓舌板，并把壓舌板咬成了碎片。 And I did my best. When finally I got the wooden spatula behind the last teeth and just the point of it into the mouth cavity, she opened up for an instant but before I could see anything she came down again and gripped the wooden blade between her molars. She reduces it to splinters before I could get it out again. 你不害臊嗎？媽媽朝她大聲訓(xùn)斥道。你在大夫面前這樣不覺得害臊嗎？ Aren’t you ashamed, the mother yelled at her. Aren’t you ashamed to act like that in front of the doctor? 給我拿一把平柄的勺子什么的，我對母親說。 Get me a smoothhandled spoon of some sort, I told the mother. 我們還要接著做下去。 We’re going through with this. 孩子的嘴已經(jīng)流血了。 The child’s mouth was already bleeding. 她的舌頭破了，還在歇斯底里地大叫著。 Her tongue was cut and she was screaming in wild hysterical shrieks. 也許我應(yīng)該停下來，過一個多小時再回來無疑這樣會好一些。 Perhaps I should have desisted and e back in an hour or more. No doubt it would have been better. 但我已經(jīng)看到至少兩個孩子因為這種情況而被疏忽了，躺在床上死去，我感到我必須現(xiàn)在進行診斷，否則就再沒有機會了。 But I have seen at least two children lying dead in bed of neglect in such cases, and feeling that I must get a diagnosis now or never I went at it again. 然而最糟糕的是，我也失去了理智，我本可以在盛怒之下將女孩的嘴扒開來享受其中的快樂，向她發(fā)起進攻真是一件樂事，我的臉也因此而發(fā)熱。 But the worst of it was that I too had got beyond reason. I could have torn the child apart in my own fury and enjoyed it. It was a pleasure to attack her, my face was burning with it. 在這種時候，誰都會叮嚀自己，無論這個可惡的小鬼做出任何愚蠢的舉動，也要違背她的意愿來保護她。 The damned little brat must be protected against her own idiocy, one says to one’s self at such times. 這樣做也是為了保護其他孩子，同時這也是一種社會需要，事實也確是如此。 Others must be protected against her. It is a social necessity. And all these things are true. 然而由于釋放體內(nèi)能量的欲望而產(chǎn)生的一種盲目的無法控制的狂怒和一種成年人的羞恥感，使我一直堅持到最后。 But a blind fury, a feeling of adult shame, bred of a longing for muscular release are the operatives. One goes on to the end. 在最后失去理性的“戰(zhàn)斗”中，我控制了女孩的脖子和下巴，我強行將沉重的銀勺從她的牙后面伸到嗓子直到她作嘔。 In the final unreasoning assault I overpowered the child’s neck any jaws. I forced the heavy silver spoon back of her teeth and down her throat till she gagged. 果然，兩個扁桃體上有著一層膜狀物。她勇敢地反抗就是為了不讓我發(fā)現(xiàn)她的這個秘密，她至少隱瞞了3天嗓子疼，并對父母撒謊，都是為了逃避這樣一個結(jié)果。 And there it was – both tonsils covered with membrane. She had fought valiantly to keep me from knowing her secret. She had been hiding that sore throat for three days at least and lying to her parents in order to escape just such an oute as this. 現(xiàn)在，她真的狂怒了，在這以前她一直處于守勢，但是現(xiàn)在她開始進攻了。 Now truly she was furious. She had been on the defensive before but now she attacked, Tried to get off her father’s lap and fly at me while tears of defeat blinded her eye.自己選擇死亡方式 Lesson Four 　Die as You Choose 制定關(guān)于安樂死的法律已經(jīng)到了不能再回避的地步。 The need for laws on euthanasia cannot be dodged for much longer. 在世界上某個較小的國家里，安樂死被醫(yī)療機構(gòu)普遍接受，每年都有數(shù)千例公開實施。 In one of the world’s smaller countries, mercykilling is accepted by the medical establishment and openly practiced a few thousand times each year. 而在某個世界大國，安樂死雖然經(jīng)常受到醫(yī)療機構(gòu)的公開譴責(zé)，每年卻以數(shù)倍于此的次數(shù)秘密實施，且從未公之于眾。 In one of the world’s biggest countries, euthanasia is condemned by the medical establishment, secretly practiced many times more often, and almost never es to light. 但是，在上述那個國家有醫(yī)生因為實施安樂死而在監(jiān)獄里服刑呢？ Which of these countries has a mercykilling doctor now languishing in its jails? 是在小國荷蘭。荷蘭制定了有關(guān)安樂死的法律，能有效地管理它。 It is the small one, Holland, which has rules for euthanasia and so can police it effectively. 那位荷蘭的醫(yī)生違反了他國家的規(guī)定。 The Dutch doctor broke his country’s rules. 有關(guān)安樂死的問題在所有國家都存在，決不僅出現(xiàn)在美國這個禁止安樂死的大國。 There is a moral here for all the countries, and not just for the big deathforbidding country, America. 目前美國正再次展開有關(guān)安樂死的辯論。 Right now it is going over the arguments about euthanasia once again. 美國醫(yī)學(xué)協(xié)會會刊1月份發(fā)表了一封非同尋常的來信。一位醫(yī)生在信中宣稱自己按照病人的意愿，殺死了一位身患癌癥的20歲女孩。 In January the Journal of the American Medical Association published a bizarre letter, in which an anonymous doctor claimed to have killed a 20yearold cancer patient at her own request. 這件事引起了一場辯論，而這場辯論將轟轟烈烈地持續(xù)到秋季，那時加利福尼亞州可能會就一項使安樂死合法化的法律進行投票表決。 This started a debate that will rumble on into the autumn, when Californians may vote on a proposed law legalizing euthanasia. 這封信可能是為了起到引發(fā)爭論的效果，內(nèi)容并不可信。 The letter was probably written for polemical impact. It is scarcely credible. 是作者自己在信中聲稱他（或她）第一次與那位得了癌癥的病人見面，聽到病人說出5個字——“讓我去死吧”——然后就殺了她。 It’s author cla