【導讀】haspassed,infiniteregrets.Doyouthingyou’rebeyondhope?personwhoisshy!life!shyness.aloneasyouare.youdo.andqualifications..a)Youwalkrightin.behind.

　　

【正文】 Exercise: Survey This exercise will expand your horizons considerably. As its name indicates, you’re going to conduct a survey amongst your friends and acquaintances. Tell them you’re interested in the subject, and that you’d appreciate it if they helped with your survey on shyness. On the following page you’ll find a questionnaire. Photocopy it, and ask as many people as you can to fill it out, instructing them to answer as honestly as possible. Page 22 You are free to add any questions that e to mind, adapting them to your subjects. Survey 1) Have you ever felt nervous when talking to a person of the opposite sex for the first time? _______________________________________________________ 2) Do you have to make an effort to invite someone you find attractive to go out with you? _______________________________________________________ 3) Do you feel nervous and anxious when you have to speak in public? _______________________________________________________ 4) In what type of normal situations do you feel most shy or unfortable? _______________________________________________________ 5) Do you suffer from any physical symptoms when you have to take an oral exam or be interviewed for a job? _______________________________________________________ Page 23 6) Do you think that shy people are inferior? _______________________________________________________ What conclusions can you draw from the exercise? _______________________________________________________ This exercise will prove that a large number of people, even those who seem most self assured, have at one time or another in their lives felt the same symptoms of shyness as you. This discovery should reassure you, and eradicate that terrible feeling of solitude which often troubles shy people. From now on, the fact of knowing that you’re not alone will represent a large step on your path towards overing your shyness altogether. Others feel no more at ease than you Think back to the days when you were just a young high school student. Didn’t you ever get to school in the morning with your homework unfinished, because you weren’t able to find the answer to some math or physics problem? Your heart was probably pounding with anxiety. You timidly started asking your costudents if they had managed to find the answer. To your great relief, you discovered that the other kids were also stuck on the problem. No one was able to e up with the solution. “ Wow, I’m not the only one!” you thought, and your anxieties instantly disappeared. Page 24 This is exactly what will happen to you when you realize firsthand that you’re not the only person on earth suffering from shyness. Do your exercises every day for at least six months, in stages of two weeks at a time. You’ll realise that your shyness is gradually diminishing, allowing other people to feel more fortable with you. This will be a double victory, since both you and everyone you e in contact with will benefit! Improve your social skills A last piece of advice to help you fight your shyness towards other people: read a book about improving your social skills. This is no joke. Although many of these books are outdated and refer to a lifestyle that has long since bee obsolete, some of the more modern ones contain a quantity of useful advice on what attitudes to adopt and how to behave in the pany of others. They provide clear answers to questions we ask ourselves all the time, but don’t dare ask others, for fear of appearing ignorant or naive. A great sense of security You don’t have to follow these authors’ advice to the letter. Use your mon sense. But you’ll quickly realize that the simple fact of knowing exactly what should and should not be done in a given situation what is acceptable and what isn’t will give you a great feeling of security. Page 25 Because when you’re with pany, shyness is often provoked or exacerbated by your ignorance of accepted forms of social behavior, . by your fear of doing something stupid and appearing clumsy and uneducated. Get rid of this aspect of shyness! It’s easy to eliminate, so why not do it. Find out exactly how you should behave in your day to day encounters. You’ll soon acquire a degree of self assurance that will astonish you! Summary The shyness which has ruined your life up to now is not an invincible enemy. It’s not even as powerful a force as you thought. The extremely simple method you learned in this chapter is based on three principles. The first consists of getting you to objectively analyze your shyness and negative thoughts about yourself. This enables you to see the enemy for what it really is. Next you bat the acquired ideas which are often the root cause of shyness. By analyzing the advantages and disadvantages of these acquired ideas, you’ll realize that it’s much more profitable to get rid of them than to drag them around with you, like weights chained to your ankles. You’re not the only person on earth to feel unpleasant physical and psychological symptoms when confronted with certain situations. On the contrary everybody does to some extent. Join the human race, and stop hiding in your ivory tower of shyness. Finally, read a book on social behavior. It will provide you with a marvelous feeling of security. There’s nothing like knowing exactly the “right thing” to do or say to instill a sense of self assurance in yourself! Page 26 Conclusion Table of Contents How to overe your shyness and develop your courage ...................... 2 What kind of shy person are you? .............................................................. 3 This test will tell you what category you belong to: .......................