ted演講：如何成為一個(gè)更好的交談?wù)?中英對(duì)照)(編輯修改稿)
2024-11-19 05:41 本頁(yè)面
【文章內(nèi)容簡(jiǎn)介】 if you just choose one of them and master it, you’ll already enjoy better conversations.第一條：不要三心二意。我不是說(shuō)單純放下你的手機(jī)、平板電腦、車(chē)鑰匙，或者隨便什么握在手里的東西。我的意思是，處在當(dāng)下。進(jìn)入那個(gè)情境中去。不要想著你之前和老板的爭(zhēng)吵。不要想著你晚飯吃什么。如果你想退出交談，就退出交談，但不要身在曹營(yíng)心在漢。Number one: Don39。t multitask. And I don39。t mean just set down your cell phone or your tablet or your car keys or whatever is in your hand. I mean, be present. Be in that moment. Don39。t think about your argument you had with your boss. Don39。t think about what you39。re going to have for dinner. If you want to get out of the conversation, get out of the conversation, but don39。t be half in it and half out of it.第二條：不要好為人師。如果你想要表達(dá)自己的看法，又不想留下任何機(jī)會(huì)讓人回應(yīng)、爭(zhēng)論、反駁或闡發(fā)，寫(xiě)博客去。有個(gè)很好的理由來(lái)說(shuō)明我的談話(huà)里為什么不允許有“專(zhuān)家說(shuō)教”：因?yàn)檎娴暮軣o(wú)聊。如果對(duì)方是個(gè)保守派，那一定討厭奧巴馬、食品券和墮胎。如果對(duì)方是個(gè)自由派，那一定會(huì)討厭大銀行、石油公司和迪克切尼。完全可以預(yù)測(cè)的。你肯定不希望那樣。你需要在進(jìn)入每一次交流時(shí)都假定自己可以學(xué)習(xí)到一些東西。派克說(shuō)過(guò)，真正的傾聽(tīng)需要把自己放在一邊。有時(shí)候，這意味著把你的個(gè)人觀點(diǎn)放在一邊。他說(shuō)感受到這種接納，說(shuō)話(huà)的人會(huì)變得越來(lái)越不脆弱敏感，因而越來(lái)越有可能打開(kāi)自己的內(nèi)心世界， 呈現(xiàn)給傾聽(tīng)者。 再?gòu)?qiáng)調(diào)一遍，假定你需要學(xué)習(xí)新東西。比爾奈伊說(shuō)：“每一個(gè)你將要見(jiàn)到的人都有你不知道的東西?！蔽襾?lái)復(fù)述一下：每個(gè)人都是某方面的專(zhuān)家。Number two: Don39。t pontificate. If you want to state your opinion without any opportunity for response or argument or pushback or growth, write a blog. Now, there39。s a really good reason why I don39。t allow pundits on my show: Because they39。re really boring. If they39。re conservative, they39。re going to hate Obama and food stamps and abortion. If they’re liberal, they39。re going to hate big banks and oil corporations and Dick Cheney. Totally predictable. And you don39。t want to be like that. You need to enter every conversation assuming that you have something to learn. The famed therapist M. Scott Peck said that true listening requires a setting aside of oneself. And sometimes that means setting aside your personal opinion. He said that sensing this acceptance, the speaker will bee less and less vulnerable and more and more likely to open up the inner recesses of his or her mind to the listener. Again, assume that you have something to learn. Bill Nye: 39。Everyone you will ever meet knows something that you don39。t.39。 I put it this way: Everybody is an expert in something.第三條：使用開(kāi)放式問(wèn)題。關(guān)于這一點(diǎn)，請(qǐng)參考記者采訪的提問(wèn)方式。以“誰(shuí)”、“ 什么”、“ 何時(shí)”、“ 何地”、“ 為什么”或“如何”開(kāi)始提問(wèn)。如果你詢(xún)問(wèn)一個(gè)復(fù)雜的問(wèn)題將會(huì)得到一個(gè)簡(jiǎn)單的回答。如果我問(wèn)你：“你當(dāng)時(shí)恐懼嗎？”你會(huì)回應(yīng)那句話(huà)中最有力的詞，即“恐懼”，而答案將是 “是的”或者“不是”。“你當(dāng)時(shí)氣憤嗎？”“是的，我當(dāng)時(shí)氣得很?！弊寣?duì)方去描述，對(duì)方才是了解情境的人。 試著這樣問(wèn)對(duì)方：“那是什么樣子？”，“你感覺(jué)怎么樣？”因?yàn)檫@樣一來(lái)，對(duì)方可能需要停下來(lái)想一想，而你會(huì)得到更有意思的回答。Number three: Use openended questions. In this case, take a cue from journalists. Start your questions with who, what, when, where, why or how.If you put in a plicated question, you’re going to get a simple answer out. If I ask you 39。Were you terrified?39。 you39。re going to respond to the most powerful word in that sentence, which is 39。terrified and the answer is 39。Yes, I was39。 or 39。No, I wasn’t.39。 39。Were you angry?39。 39。
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