【正文】 the more exercise I take, the healthier I am On the other handhave been learning…develop a friendship with…be loyal toshare in happiness and sorrow改分98分級 it turned out that… which was more than words could describe 無法用語言描述。語點評：文章語言通順，故事風趣幽默，即給緊張的高中生活舒緩了一下氣氛，又達到了寓學于樂的目的！亮點：he was about to fall asleep when…, be about to do sth when…“正要干某事，這時……” take a short sleep after a short while only a few minutes laterLet39。語修改： tense the study in senior 3 is that...,應該為：So tense is the study in senior3 that...,倒裝句型。 time since.... our heavy burden尤其是過渡詞的巧妙使用，讓文章增色不少！A deep memory in my mind語點評；一件往事給作者留下了遺憾，也留下了深深的回憶，作者用心去寫，感情豐富，行文流暢。語點評：母愛是世界上最偉大的愛，作者情真意切，根據(jù)演講回憶起小時候兩件事；當我情緒低落時，是母親鼓勵著我；當我迷路時，是母親拉著我的手安慰我，最后作者說，我要感激母親，他不僅給予我愛，而且是她引導著我走向成功！無論從布局謀篇，還是從遣詞造句方面看，本文都稱得上是一篇佳作，望大家欣賞！修改：I was also strict by his wonderful speech,改為struck亮點：give sb a speech on… I still remember the scene where… be impressed by… a member of… with tears down their faces. be starch by… remind sb of… feel down. It seemed that… cheer sb up 1owe my thanks for… 1not only does she give me… （倒裝句型）老改分95分級 時間：20081108 and much es abroad from abroad it of don39。 to new a others national great to addition, and abroad. of good the we spend another , there in studying advantages more師oscar評 bee2. The more konw the hardmuch 應該用Many。 All things considered, learning English needs will. We are supposed to be filled with confidence, we should treat the difficulties as challenges.語點評：本文結構嚴謹，陳述清楚，使用了很多詞組和句型，增強了文章的可讀性。 On the whole, we should get ready for everything when we want to travel. We must have a good knowledge of the weather, and we must listen to the weather report before we go out. And the most important thing that we must remember is that we should go out with a panion, who can help you out of danger. There is no doubt that traveling is a good way to relax yourself. When you feel tired after working for a long time, you can go traveling to experience the beauty of nature. You can also breathe the fresh air and make friends with people who e from different places. 師Lilaoshi評 much need39。 much have to don39。 and gradually分90分級改 convanients more conclusion, studying to circumstance thing , we do my we time . used of instudy have receive it39。 can we can interesting thatSome study more moderner .The our [收藏該文章]習作原文WithStudying Abroad or Home 作者：Danmy 別優(yōu)秀評I’m fond of making friends. Of all the friends that I have, Xiao Fei is the best one. We got to know each other long ago。The person I love best is my mother. Like many other Chinese women, my mother is diligent. She works in a middle school. In order to teach well, she prepares her lectures very carefully and often works very late at night.Mother is very kind. At home she treats my father kindly. She cares for me willingly. She treats my grandmother as if she were her own mother. Whenever my grandma is ill in bed, my mother looks after her well. So my grandma loves her. Besides, she gets along well with her neighbors and colleagues. When they have difficulties, she is always ready to lend them a helpful hand. Therefore she is loved and respected in our neighborhood and in her school.Not only is she a qualified mother, but also a good tutor in my life. She always tells us to be useful to society in the future. What a good piece of advice it is! I’ll keep it in my mind forever. Such is my mother—ordinary but great!批師Lilaoshi評師Lilaoshi評 begin with, Furthermore, In conclusion,obviously, as a result,點評：論點鮮明，論據(jù)充分，結構合理。 well as... is high time to admire...,也可接受，最好改為：It is high time for us to admire...或It is high time that we admired....虛擬語氣。虛擬語氣。師Lilaoshi評師Lilaoshi評最后作者說：陽光總在風雨后！加油吧！Come on!修改： went out the classroom. 改為：out of . with my bad 。別優(yōu)秀評Last week our teacher told us that there would be a maths exam the next week. I was frightened at the thought of the ing exam because I was not good at it. Yesterday morning, our math teacher came into the classroom with the test paper and then we had a twohour exam. In the evening, the teacher gave out the test paper, which brought my heart into my mouth. As I had expected, it turned out that I failed the exam, m