【正文】 pals，現(xiàn)在分詞作伴隨狀語hold the opinion thatbe fond ofby means of the more exercise I take, the healthier I am On the other handhave been learning…develop a friendship with…be loyal toshare in happiness and sorrow I have to pay more attention to my study. I have been learning English for three years, but I’m not good at it, what a pity! So I want to make friends with someone who can help me improve my English. Would you like to develop a friendship with me? I’ll be loyal to you and share in happiness and sorrow together. At the same time, we can make more progress by helping each other and learning from each other if you are interested, please drop me a line. Yours,點(diǎn)評(píng)：文章寫得不錯(cuò)，基本功還扎實(shí)，句子結(jié)構(gòu)正確，望繼續(xù)努力！修改。竹山一中高一（16）班王燊、周思航、張寶升、劉濤、儲(chǔ)君、喻勇m sure that...亮點(diǎn)：With the development of… However,“然而”，過渡詞，表示轉(zhuǎn)折。6. I39。 matter what...,改為：No matter what.... he honest,改為：To be honest.Come on! May you succeed!修改： bees^and more important to....^加 more.be proud of now on, I will study even harder than before, no matter what difficulty I may meet with, I’ll struggle against it. I39。With the development of society, it bees and more important to have a good knowledge of English. To he honest, I didn’t do well in English in the past, especially my spoken English. So I have been worried all the time. However, everything has changed since I metMy favorite star is a girl called Li Yuchun, who is well received by so many people ing from all over the world.In my eyes, she is a likely girl. As we know, she is always full of energy and confidence on the stage. With her great appeal, she immediately bees a crazy fan of the majority of people.On the other hand, we all think highly of what she has done for poor people. It’s clear to us that she has been helping poor children to go to school and blind people see the bright world again. What a kind girl she is! Not only is she our idol, but also our best teacher who we can learn something useful from.The reason why I regard her as my idol is that she is diligent and always ready to help others. I hope that she can take on a new look and create more new songs. 點(diǎn)評(píng)：這是一篇比較優(yōu)秀的散文，條理清晰，布局合理，使用了定語從句、倒裝句、感嘆句、現(xiàn)在分詞等復(fù)雜結(jié)構(gòu)，讓文章增色不少。My favorite star竹山一中高一（16）班，李源源、李菁鶯、王治學(xué)、陳磊、張峻、黃湖海修改： is a likely ：亮點(diǎn)：a girl called … be well received by … as we know, be full of energy think highly of … it’s clear to sb that … she has been helping… not only is she our idol the reason why …is that… be ready to help others 1take on a new lookTalk about my English高一（15）班 第7組：王慧，師貞良，劉遲，周幫文，庹艷平，王定玫Mr. Ii, now I’m not anxious at all. with the help of , I developed the habit of reading. By and By, I’m into English, In fact, pared with what it was, it has been greatly improved. I must owe my success to him!Though I make a little progress, by on means shall Iam sure that I will achieve my dream in the near future! Time is flying! I’ll make better use of time. How I’m looking forward to the day when I take off!點(diǎn)評(píng)：作者活學(xué)活用，把最近所學(xué)的詞組和句型都用得恰到好處，體現(xiàn)了“l(fā)earn English by using it”的原則。 I met ,改為： will study even harder than before, 改為。am sure that...,改為：I39。 With the help of… develop the habit of… by and by. 不久 be into：be interested in Compared with what it was. Owe my success to…. Owe sth to sb 把…歸功于… by no means shall I be proud of it. 倒裝句 no matter what… 1in the near future. 1take off 成功Look for epalsHello! I’m a 16yearold boy called Wang Sheen. I surf the linter net all the time looking for epals. I hold the opinion that you will be fond of me by means of my personal information. I have many hobbies such as sports and music. I’m interested in playing football and spend much time on it. I think the more exercise I take, the healthier I am.On the other hank, I’m also a student?！痬 a16yearold boy called Wang ：Wang shen. surf the linter net,改為：Internet the other hank,改為：hand you are interested,please drop me a line. 另起行，放在最后一段。Everyone is Number OneI like a song which is called Everyone Is Number One, because it not only sounds beautiful but it also encourages me.When I was a junior middle school student, once I failed in math in the final exam. I was very sad. I went home with tears in my eyes. On the way