【正文】 n39。 Lo? I realized that I was more turned on by this gravy boat than by Barry! And then I got really freaked out, and that39。s umbrella opens.mon, you39。 A wrong number?Ross: Sorry.Joey: Alright Ross, look. You39。t, to hell with her, she left me!Joey: And you never knew she was a lesbian...Ross: No!! Okay?! Why does everyone keep fixating on that? She didn39。 Be murky!Ross: I39。t looking at you before?!Chandler: Finally, I figure I39。m standing in the middle of the cafeteria, and I realize I am totally naked.All: Oh, yeah. Had that dream.Chandler: Then I look down, and I realize there39。cause, I don39。mon, you39?！禙riends》劇本（第一季）101 The One Where Monica Gets a Ne淘海翻譯 101 The One Where Monica Gets a New Roommate (The PilotThe Uncut Version)[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there.]Monica: There39。re going out with the guy! There39。t want her to go through what I went through with Carl oh!Monica: Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. It39。s a phone... there.Joey: Instead of...?Chandler: That39。d better answer it, and it turns out it39。ll be fine, alright? Really, everyone. I hope she39。t know, how should I know?Chandler: Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian... (They all stare at him.) Did I say that out loud?Ross: I told mom and dad last night, they seemed to take it pretty well.Monica: Oh really, so that hysterical phone call I got from a woman at sobbing 3:00 ., I39。re feeling a lot of pain right now. You39。re single! Have some hormones!Ross: I don39。 He sits back down defeated again.s when it hit me: how much Barry looks like Mr. Potato Head. Y39。t know where to go, and I know that you and I have kinda drifted apart, but you39。s Apartment, everyone is there and watching a Spanish Soap on TV and are trying to figure out what is going on.]Monica: Now I39。ll have whatever Christine is having.Rachel: (on phone) Daddy, I just... I can39。 If I let go of my hair, my head will fall off. Chandler: (re TV) Ooh, she should not be wearing those pants. Joey: I say push her down the stairs. Phoebe, Ross, Chandler, and Joey:s like, all of my life, everyone has always told me, 39。re a shoe, you39。t wanna be a shoe? What if I wanna be a a purse, y39。s a metaphor, Daddy!Ross: You can see where he39。ve established who39。s it. Just try to think of nice calm things... Phoebe: (sings) Raindrops on roses and rabbits and kittens, (Rachel and Monica turn to look at her.) bluebells and sleighbells and something with mittens... La la la la...something and noodles with string. The whole, 39。s her wedding day!Joey: What, like there39。s, uh, it39。not a real date39。s Paul the Wine Guy!Phoebe: What does that mean? s Paul.)Monica: Hi, e in! Paul, this is.. (They are all lined up next to the door.)... everybody, everybody, this is Paul.All: Hey! Paul! Hi! The Wine Guy! Hey!Chandler: I39。ll be right back, I just gotta go ah, go ah...Ross: A wandering?Monica: Change!s a little tip, she really likes it when you rub her neck in the same spot over and over and over again until it starts to get a little red.Monica: (yelling from the bedroom) Shut up, Joey!Ross: So Rachel, what39。t feel like being alone tonight, Joey and Chandler are ing over to help me put together my new furniture.Chandler: (deadpan) Yes, and we39。s been kinda a long day.Ross: Okay, sure.Joey: Hey Pheebs, you wanna help?Phoebe: Oh, I wish I could, but I don39。m supposed to attach a brackety thing to the side things, using a bunch of these little worm guys. I have no brackety thing, I see no whim guys whatsoever and I cannot feel my legs.(Joey and Chandler are finishing assembling the bookcase.)Joey: I39。s this?Chandler: I would have to say that is an 39。re gonna start with that stuff we39。s going through that right now, he39。 The worst thing I ever did was, II shredded by boyfriend39。m sorry... I am so sorry... I know you probably think that this is all about what I said the other day about you making love with your socks on, but it isn39。t me, it39。 Ross is pacing while Joey and Chandler are working on some more furniture.]Ross: I39。m divorced!Joey: Shut up!Chandler: You must stop! (Chandler hits what he is working on with a hammer and it collapses.)Ross: That only took me an hour.Chandler: Look, Ross, you gotta understand, between us we haven39。t do it!know? I mean what if you get one woman and that39。s like saying there39。em with Jimmies, or nuts, or whipped cream! This is the best thing that ever happened to you! You got married, you were, like, what, eight? Wele back to the world! Grab a spoon!Ross: I honestly don39。s more of a fifth date kinda revelation.Monica: Oh, so there is gonna be a fifth date?Paul: Isn39。mI39。s the difference![Scene: Ross39。ve grabbed a spoon? Do the words 39。 But, I uh, I gotta go, I got a date with AndreaAngelaAndrea... It39。know, here39。know, I figure if I can make coffee, there isn39。t do.Joey: Listen, while you39。t hear.m telling you last night was like umm, all m