【正文】 。我們會 聯(lián)想 到宇宙的廣袤、大地的無垠，以及自身得以存在的 渺茫幾率 ，然后，自嘆卑微卻又受寵若驚。欲觀此 變 ，我們須換以一種更加 古老沉穩(wěn) 的時間感。 要點 : 語序調整 增譯 ? The drama took an hour. Moonrise is slow and serried with subtleties. To watch it, we must slip into an older, more patient sense of time. To watch the moon move inexorably higher is to find an unusual stillness within ourselves. Our imaginations bee aware of the vast distance of space, the immensity of the earth and the huge improbability of our own existence. We feel small but privileged. ? Moonlight shows us none of life’s harder edges. Hillsides seem silken and silvery, the oceans still and blue in its light. In moonlight we bee less calculating, more drawn to our feelings. ? 這一幕持續(xù)了一小時之久。 ease 。這經常發(fā)生于秋季。 crowd A into B: 擠進 hunter’s moon: The first full moon following the harvest moon. 天文 獵月：收獲月后的第一次滿月 點評： Excellent! ? I return often to the rising moon. I am drawn especially when events crowd ease and clarity of vision into a small corner of my life. This happens often in the fall. Then I go to my hill and wait the hunter’s moon, enormous and gold over the horizon, filling the night with vision. ? 后來 ，我便經常 回去品味這醉人月升 。這經常發(fā)生于秋季。 增譯關聯(lián)詞 V1帶走 ?(… 一片云彩 ) V2帶著 → 更表伴隨 ,同時暗含月亮雖厚贈于我而我并不貪婪之意 ? I return often to the rising moon. I am drawn especially when events crowd ease and clarity of vision into a small corner of my life. This happens often in the fall. Then I go to my hill and wait the hunter’s moon, enormous and gold over the horizon, filling the night with vision. ? 后來，我便經常回去品味這醉人月升。在那個七月的夜里，我 欣賞 了一兩小時的月色，然后 回到 車上， 轉動鑰匙 ，便聽到 了引擎發(fā)動的聲響，這正如數(shù)小時前它無故熄火時一般令人費解。 V1 掩蔽 ?? → 暗含貶義 V2 包容 ?? → 褒義過露 我們認為作者在此處確實意欲贊美月光的魔力 ,然而從原文措辭可見其喜愛之情并非直白表露 . V3 收起 → 表現(xiàn)月亮似乎也同情 塵世的爭執(zhí)摩擦 ,于是暗中相助 山 : Silken光滑 如 絲綢 的 Silvery似 銀 的 ,銀色的 海 : Still 靜 止 blue藍 色 柔若銀緞 靜泛幽藍 點評： Excellent! 譯文修訂：在月輝的沐浴下，我們少了些許 ……, 卻多了幾分 …… 。在這光芒 [華 ]里，山坡 柔若銀緞 ，海洋 靜泛幽藍 。 Inexorably: 無情地 , 冷酷地 In an inexorable manner。 這出戲 ? 指月出的過程 與前文介紹古代獵人觀月相照應 : … Moongazing is an ancient art. To prehistoric hunters the moon overhead was as unerring as a heartbeat... V1:月出緩慢而充滿微妙之處 . V1:欲觀此景 ? 不能較好強調過程 The drama took an hour. Moonrise is slow and serried with subtleties. To watch it, we must slip into an older, more patient sense of time. To watch the moon move inexorably higher is to find an unusual stillness within ourselves. Our imaginations bee aware of the vast distance of space, the immensity of the earth and the huge improbability of our own existence. We feel small but privileged. 看著月亮 不可阻逆 地高升，也就是在我們內心求索一種不尋常的靜謐。月出進程緩慢而 漸變微妙 。 be serried with: 被 …擠滿 subtlety: 微妙 , 細微之處 slip into: 滑入 Inexorably: 無情地 , 不可動搖地 點評：Excellent! 后半部分句式結構與措辭很有韻味?？粗铝敛豢勺枘娴馗呱簿褪窃谖覀儍刃那笏饕环N不尋常的靜謐。月出進程緩慢而漸變微妙。 剎那間 ，我 頓時 感到自信滿懷，無比愉悅，幾近要放聲大笑起來。 ? By the time the moon stood clear of the horizon, full chested and round and the colour of ivory, the valleys were deep shadows in the landscape. The dogs, reassured that this was the familiar moon, stopped barking. And all at once I felt a confidence and joy close to