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laughter. 直至 月 滿 高掛、色若象牙 之時,幽谷便成了山水間的重重陰影。 淪入黑暗! →它強調(diào)的是正在變黑的過程。 plexion:面色 →容顏 運用擬人的手法 darkening表示正在變黑,強調(diào)過程。因為隨著它的起升,群山萬壑都漸而晦暗難見了。從火紅、到橘紅、到金色、再到清冷的淺黃,其 容顏 都在不斷更易。 改變?語氣太輕 ~ 扭曲! 分譯:似,若 illtempered:壞脾氣的 →躁戾 imperfect:不完全的 →有缺 運用擬人手法 點評: Very Good! 措辭不錯,具有散文的文字美。 ? Distorted thus by the hot breath of earth, the moon seemed illtempered and imperfect. Dogs nearby farmhouse barked nervously, as if this strange light had wakened evil spirits in the weeds. 月亮于是被大地灼熱的氣息 扭曲 了面目: 貌 似 躁戾 , 相 若 有缺 。 grotesquely:奇異地 ,荒誕地 misshapen:殘缺的 ,畸形的 loomed up:蒙朧地出現(xiàn) loomed up:蒙朧地出現(xiàn)“冉冉浮升”,體現(xiàn)了月出一個緩緩升起的過程 grotesquely:奇異地 misshapen:畸形的 ↓ 形態(tài)怪異 調(diào)整語序 點評: Good! 不過注意 loomed up 的內(nèi)涵特征: e into sight dimly,esp. as a vague and often threatening :一輪紅月從 林間冉冉浮升 , 月輪之巨,顏色之艷, 令人悚然 ,皆因 塵埃和暑汽之故而顯形態(tài) 之 異。 beyond →越過 夕陽已落于山后,余暉被前方的山脈所阻擋,而作者在山的另一頭,如何欣賞到夕陽的余輝? 照射?投射! 點評: Very good! 修訂:夕陽西沉 ? Suddenly, the ridge itself seemed to burst into flame. Then, the rising moon, huge and red and grotesquely misshapen by the dust and sweat of the summer atmosphere, loomed up out of the woods. 突然間,那道山脈似乎也燃燒了起來。日已西落,入我眼簾的,是猶如森林大火般橙黃色亮光, 自 山脊后 向 東 投射 而來。Spell of the Rising Moon (excerpts) 國金 062筆譯小組 : 劉思密( Smith) 陳奕壘( Castle) 醉人月升 (節(jié)選 ) By Peter Steinhart Peter Steinhart is a contemporary writer and a naturalist. ☆ Works in various publications such as Audubon(注 :《 奧杜邦 》 雜志), the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times etc. ☆ Four books published, the latest of which is The Company of Wolves. ☆ Expert in writing on natural history and environmental affairs Author ’s Background In this essay the author shared his feelings about moon gazing. By recounting personal experiences and telling history, Steinhart showed us the spell of the moon. The excerpts we chose are about one of his moongazing experiences on a hill nearby his home. Introduction stranded:擱淺的 ,進退兩難的 ? I leaned about its gifts one July evening in the mountains. My car had mysteriously stalled, and I was stranded and alone. The sun had set, and I was watching what seemed to be the bright orange glow of a forest fire beyond a ridge to the east. 我是七月某夜在山間 獲其厚贈 的。那次,車子莫名其妙地熄火了,而我則 只身 受困 于這 深山密林 中。 stranded→進退兩難的 alone→形單影只的 強調(diào)作者所在地點,讓讀者更好地感受 當(dāng)時的環(huán)境以及作者所產(chǎn)生的心情 增譯 lean about → 遇到 gift→禮物 聯(lián)系當(dāng)時的作者所處的情境 , 見到令人神往的月出美景實 在是上天賜予的一份厚禮。隨之,一輪巨大的紅月 由林間冉冉浮升 ,且因塵埃和暑汽之故而 形態(tài)頗異 。 以便與后面狗吠形成照應(yīng)。 農(nóng)舍旁的狗群不安地吠叫起來,仿佛這異樣的月光喚醒了草叢間的鬼魅。 ? But as the moon lifted off the ridge it gathered firmness and authority. Its plexion changed from red, to orange, to gold, to impassive yellow. It seemed to draw light out of the darkening earth, for as it rose, the hills and valleys below grew dimmer. 然而,在月亮緩緩 脫離山頭的 同時,它也逐漸 聚斂成型,重振威嚴(yán) 。而且,它似乎正從 淪入 黑暗的大地身上汲取光亮。 “緩緩、逐漸、漸而”等詞都動態(tài)地體現(xiàn)了月升這一過程 firmness:穩(wěn)定 →成型 與之前 “貌似躁戾,相若有缺” 相對比。 陷入黑暗? →它強調(diào)的是已經(jīng)黑暗的狀態(tài)。 點評: Excellent! 文字句式很美??椿剡@一輪熟悉的月,吠犬們終于被安撫下來,便停止了叫聲。 stood clear of: 遠離 →高掛 full chested:飽滿 round:圓形 all at once:突然間 ,剎那間 ↓ 為更好表達出那一瞬間的感覺變化 ,此處重復(fù)同義詞 The drama