【正文】 it seemed like the way to recover was to try to find positive thoughts.“Worse?” I said.“Are you kidding me? How could things be worse?” His answer cut straight through me: “Dave could have had that same cardiac arrhythmia while he was driving your children.” moment he said it, I was overwhelmingly grateful that the rest of my family was alive and gratitude overtook some of the gratitude and appreciation is key to who take the time to list things they are grateful for are happier and turns out that counting your blessings can actually increase your New Year’s resolution this year is to write down three moments of joy before I go to bed each simple practice has changed my no matter what happens each day, I go to sleep thinking of something tonight when you have so many fun moments to list— although maybe do it before you hit Kip’s and can still remember what they month, eleven days before the anniversary of Dave’s death, I broke down crying to a friend of were sitting—of all places—on a bathroom said: “Eleven year ago, he had eleven days we had no idea.” We looked at each other through tears, and asked how we would live if we knew we had eleven days you graduate, can you ask yourselves to live as if you had eleven days left? I don’t mean blow everything off and p。UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA, BERKELEY 2016 Commencement Address Thank you, thank you esteemed members of the faculty, proud parents, devoted friends, squirming to all of you…and especially to the magnificent Berkeley graduating class of 2016!It is a privilege to be here at Berkeley, which has produced so many Nobel Prize winners, Turing Award winners, astronauts, members of Congress, Olympic gold medalists….and that’s just the women!Berkeley has always been ahead of the the 1960s, you led the Free Speech in those days, people used to say that with all the long hair, how do we even tell the boys from the girls? We now know the answer: on, Berkeley opened its doors to the entire this campus opened in 1873, the class included 167 men and 222 took my alma mater another ninety years to award a single degree to a single of the women who came here in search of opportunity was Rosalind grew up scrubbing floors in the Brooklyn boardinghouse where she was pulled out of high school by her parents to help support their of her teachers insisted that her parents put her back into school—and in 1937, she sat where you are sitting today and received a Berkeley was my was a huge inspiration to me and I’m so grateful that Berkeley recognized her want to take a moment to offer a special congratulations to the many here today who are the first generation in their families to graduate from a remarkable is a day of day to celebrate all the hard work that got you to this is a day of day to thank those who helped you get here—nurtured you, taught you, cheered you on, and dried your at least the ones who didn’t draw on you with a Sharpie when you fell asleep at a is a day of today marks the end of one era of your life and the beginning of something mencement address is meant to be a dance between youth and have the es in to be the voice of wisdom—that’s supposed to be stand up here and tell you all the things I have learned in life, you throw your cap in the air, you let your family take a million photos –don’t forget to post them on Instagram —and everyone goes home will be a bit will still do the caps and you still have to do the I am not here to tell you all the things I’ve learned in I will try to tell you what I learned in have never spoken publicly about this ’s I will do my very best not to blow my nose on this beautiful Berkeley year and thirteen days ago, I lost my husband, death was sudden and were at a friend’s fiftieth birthday party in took a went to work followed was the unthinkable—walking into a gym to find him lying on the home to tell my children that their father was his casket being lowered into the many months afterward, and at many times since, I was swallowed up in the deep fog of grief—what I think of as the void—an emptiness that fills your heart, your lungs, constricts your ability to think or even to ’s death changed me in very profound learned about the depths of sadness and the brutality of I also learned that when life sucks you under, you can kick against the bottom, break the surface, and breathe learned that in the face of the void—or in the face of any challenge—you can choose joy and ’m sharing this with you in the hopes that today, as you take the next step in your life, you can learn the lessons that I only learned in about hope, strength, and the light within us that will not be who has made it through Cal has already experienced some wanted an A but you got a , let’s be honest—you got an Abut you’re still applied for an internship at Facebook, but you only got one from was the love of your life… but then she swiped of Thrones the show has diverged way too much from the books—and you bothered to read all four thousand three hundred and fiftytwo will almost certainly face more and deeper ’s loss of opportunity: the job that doesn’t work out, the illness or accident that changes everything in an ’s loss of dignity: the sharp sting of prejudice when it ’s loss of love: the broken relationships that can’t be sometimes there’s loss of life of you have already experienced the kind of tragedy and hardship that leave an indelible year, Radhika, the winner of the University Medal, spoke so beautifully about the sudden loss of her question is not if some of these things will happen to I want to talk about what happens the things you can do to overe adversity, no matter what form it takes or when it hits easy days ahead of you will be is the hard days—the times that challenge you to your very core—that will determine who you will be defined not just by what you achieve, but by how you few weeks after Dave died, I was talking to my friend Phil about