【正文】 ll excuse me I have to meet my eligible guests. I39。re making a mockery of this party. Carrie, charlotte! Hi! This is Jeff Fenton. Ladies. How do you do? It39。used date party39。s mutual. Even if I can39。s the handsome politico you refer to? He39。m lagging in the Bronx. I may have to spend another $15,000 to buy myself some voter turnout. Pretty hot, isn39。s a great idea, I can bring my short guy. You39。39。s a greatlooking political prince. Sure, it39。t keep saying that forever. I peed on a guy once during sex, but it was an accident. What did he say? I don39。d like you to pee on me. I would be worried. The pee could be foreplay. My God! Where there39。m not doing? No, It39。re the first woman in ages I39。m ready to settle down. it seems like a miracle when two nice people like you can find each other. We met in the most unusual way. one of my girlfriends threw a party where all the women brought a man they weren39。s the bald guy,with the great sense of humor. Do you know the blonde guy? No. He39。s enough. Please? Great, now I39。s that guy? That39。t eat at the restaurant, but I can still hear the specials. Carrie, give me a sip of your drink. This is my friend, Stanford Blatch. Bill Kelley. I represent the queer vote. lf you can carry Chelsea, you39。39。ll get us a drink. Nice meeting you. Nice meeting you. Excuse me. The dumb jokes. con. cute butt...pro. I don39。ll introduce you. Jesus Christ, he talks more than I do. This is the lovely Miranda Hobbes. And her friend Steve Brady. Hi. I39。s a munchkin. This is a politically incorrect conversation for a political fundraiser. Less than five feet is unacceptable. I have to go mingle. There are a lot of cute guys here and these things never last beyond two martinis. charlotte was running her own campaign. She wanted to be elected wife before the year was out. There39。 to a fundraiser. What is the height difference between a short person and a little person? A little person? A midget. A midget or a dwarf? What39。ll give you a call. Bye. Later that week, I brought 39。t hear about you. Samantha never felt better. There were geous women sitting on either side and Jeff had elected her. Fenton Partners. That39。m aggressive. I run a successful hedge fund. My life is about calculating risks. Telling a beautiful lady she39。s so judgmental. You are judgmental. Put it to good use. ok, fine. I39。s my problem. I don39。s not the point. I39。m glad you three weren39。s a great way to meet men. With Carrie, we can meet the inner circle and the interesting donors. By interesting men she means single and rich. Guys, he39。s got to be a turnon. Yeah, I39。s the undecideds they39。t thought about things that way. So, think about it. ok. Because I think if we really want to see if it can work between us, this time we got to make the mitment to be exclusive. ok. I hear you. ok. The truth was, there were no other candidates in sight. But Miranda wasn39。m trying to figure out when I get to see you again. I39。t just assume I39。d back it. And that39。s how it ends in this Staten island fairytale. 302 Politically Erect I had been dating politician Bill Kelley for three weeks. Since most of our time was spent campaigning, I dressed the part. I found some vintage Halston and did a spin on Jackie Kennedy. The early years. Who here knows what a city ptroller does? You do? We made a good match. I was adept at fashion, he at politics. This city39。t have a white horse, but he did have a BMW with a working heater. So I guess, sometimes a woman absolutely has to be rescued. You39。re so sexy. e home with me. kissing is enough. It39。s quite a difference between a rescue fantasy and a rescue reality. It39。s go! Move, lady, it39。d have to make it happen. Up here. Nice pole. Wanna see it again? Yeah. Samantha rode the pole a couple of times that night. Why are these boots set up like this? So we39。t a date. I39。t think so. Any other ideas? Just say it. Big. You39。re not ing. So long... Vote! I don39。s me, leave a message. Hey, I39。m good. Just don39。s white knight changed into a white nightmare. Miss Hobbes, your friend is here. Carrie? Actually no, it39。s no way to treat a lady. Lighten up. It39。s my idea of a perfect marriage. Totally. charlotte nodded, thinking what a nice, sweet, handsome, funny, great couple they made. Excuse me, you just bumped into her chair. A little crowded. Yes, but you bumped her chair. You should say you39。t call Steve. She decided to take things into her own hands. Who needs a man to hold your hand, when you have cab fare and a black marker to write down emergency numbers? And while Miranda was under the knife, charlotte was having her first glass of white wine with her white knight. I did the Hasty Pudding show a couple of times, to blow off steam. My friend Tom says that Harvard is still the most aggressive place he39。t answer now. Think about it. I39。m carrying all the boroughs but I need help with Staten island. You want one? No, I had one on Thursday. Here39。re like a Jehovah39。re not listening. The lady said...Hey, fuck you. I39。re just over here now. Let me buy you a drink. I39。m sorry. We were just leaving. charlotte was a firm believer in the laws of dating feng shui. change location, change luck. Why is it always a guy like that? is it me? No, it39。t established that yet. What are we doing here? I mean, are we...Steve, after they flip the eye up,these jets... And over on the East Side at a more charlottefriendly bar, the ice tea princess began her quest for a white knight. oh, my God. He39。ll need help getting home. Yeah, I39。m gonna wake up and see clearly without glasses or contacts for the first time. Believe it. They slit your eyeball open and flip up the top. Gross. it just flips right up. Flip, my eye. ok, stop. This little blade cuts it. Just......like the top of a g