【正文】 re concerned about getting the information during the conversation. Tannen called this dimension rapport and report (1990a). If the only aim for men and women is to get information, what will happen? It’s obvious that the definitions of information for men and women are different. For men, it is defined as the public affairs or news. The broader their talking refers to, the more successful it is. Meanwhile, they tend to be more concerned with contest. Through several contests in conversation, they show and establish their status and independence (see Scollon, 2000: 235). For women, their subjects cover the details of people’s characteristics, emotion, reactions and so on. In men’s opinion, those are socalled gossip but not “good talking”. Problems—solutions Facing other people’s problems, woman tends to talk about her own problems in order to indicate that she has understood it and would express sympathy. For man, it means that he has been required for help, which seems more like a challenge. The result is that he will try his best to give a solution. “The reason men and women take this different position goes back to the question of connection and status” (Tannen, 1990a: 174). When there is a problem, it seems that it gives a chance for her to express the connection between the speaker and her, while it is a chance for men to be an expert to solve problems. So men always confirm when facing a problem, women will bee novices because they can’t give any solution. Sometimes the situation will be more serious. If a woman raises a problem, her aim is to make an exchange of problems and sympathy (see Scollon, 2000: 236). Then a man meets it and gives a solution. Unfortunately, that’s not what the woman wants, and then she repeats her problems again and again in order to let the man understand her exactly. In order to help this novice, he tries again and again. It seems that his solutions have failed to help her, which directly challenges his professional ability (see Scollon, 2002: 236). They continue the munication within their own framework, which leads to more serious misinterpretation.Men accuse that women are illogical, because when they raise a problem, what they receives is another new problem (see Tannen, 1990a: 191). No matter how long they keep on talking about the problem, there will end with no solution. Listening—lecturing Then, from the above reason, another interpretive frame occurs, that is, listening and lecturing. When a problemsolving expert faces a problem, he will begin his lecture without conscious. He owns the ability to solve it. But what the listener wants to get is just some sympathy. She waits and listens, even sinks into silence. The more details she gives, the more information (solutions) she g ets.It seems that even they begin munication with the best intentions, the result ends in misunderstanding and mismunication. Social status and powerFor a long history, it is very mon for men to be respected and women to be ignored. Today men are still standing at the leading position, controlling the main power, while women are playing the roles as the attachments to men. As a result, when talking, they get used to being active listeners, and careful to show virtue of charming ladies. For men, they always act as active controllers to show their higher status.Just as mentioned above, gender discourse is an involuntary discourse. Human beings are born into relatively sexes, and then gender roles, gender identities and the related role behavior are determined by socialization (丁玥, 2003). Under these differences, men’s language must be more confident, while women use the strategy of intimacy, connection and inclusion. Under the social expectation, women have the responsibility to raise the child, which acquires them to be more conscious of the importance of acquiring more standard language forms (see Talbot, 1998: 35). If women fail to meet the social expectation, they will be abused more seriously than men.As the development of science and technology, women’s social status has been improved at some certain extent. However, the social discrimination against women still exists. The traditional concepts still influence people39。s behavior and thoughts, which will continue to give direct effects to intergender discourse for a long time. 5. Improving intergender munication Increase shared knowledgeIntergender munication is a kind of intercultural munication, which has long historical origins and has been affected by great farreaching elements. If two people have very similar histories, backgrounds, and experiences, their munication works better because of the inferences each makes and bases on mon experience and knowledge (劉衛(wèi)紅, 2001). The more similar knowledge about the world the participants share, the better the munication works.As a member in the system, man adopts the values of independence, status, exclusion, information, contest and problem solving, while woman with the values of intimacy, relationship, inclusion and problem sharing. So both sexes need to understand the inherent differences in their munication style so that they don’t expect the impossible (Tannen, 1990a). First the male and the female should make clear distinction between the different values in mind. Women can keep on using the “trouble talking” when they municate with their girlfriends. “Trying to turn a man into a woman will usually fail because men, in general, don’t create feelings of closeness in that way”(Tannan, 1990a: 210). Man should realize that when woman is talking, she is attempting to establish close relationship, but not tending to share the same status with him (Net 1). Let her know more about you, which shows that you indeed love her and want to get close to her.Both sexes should try to show more of themselves to their partners in the way they can understand (Coates, 1993). And try to gain the share knowledge as much as possible. In this way, int