【正文】 17 . Page 2002 “When Good Kids Go Bad” .Claire: Okay, let39。s see... Oh, could you grab me an extra virgin... .Phil: I think one39。s enough for the sacrifice. .Claire: Olive oil, Phil. .Phil: Come on. That39。s funny. .Claire: Oh, it39。s funnier than your freestyle sandwich rap. .Phil: Girl, you crazy. I39。m mad fun to shop with. ? Trapped in between two whole wheat slices. Pastrami and Swiss are my only vices. ? .Claire: Sweetie, my shoe. Come on. Jesus. God. .Phil: Hello. .Woman : Hi. .Phil: Oh, roadblock. Beep beep! Pardon me. .Woman : Oh! .Phil: Are you okay? .Claire: Actually, not okay. Not okay. .Phil: Honey, did you pull from the bottom again? . .Cameron: So after hors d39。oeuvres, we39。ll bring everyone in here to share the news. . .Cameron: We39。re having the family over tomorrow night to tell them we39。re planning on adopting a new baby. .Mitchell: Yes, and we both agreed to... to go a little more lowkey with the announcement this time. . .Mitchell: Okay, just to be clear, this is lowkey? .Cameron: It39。s a banner and just some light musical acpaniment, Mitchell. I don39。t have a lower key. Besides, this is a happy occasion. Am I right, Lily? Aren39。t you excited to get a new baby brother? .Lily: No! I hate the baby! . . 18 . Page 21Mitchell: We are having a slight issue getting Lily on board with the adoption. I hate the baby. .Cameron: No new baby. .Mitchell: I wanna make the baby dead. .Cameron: I thought we weren39。t gonna share that one. .Mitchell: III just hope that the problem is she hasn39。t spent much time with any babies. .Cameron: So we thought it would be a great idea to show her how much fun it39。ll be to have one around. . .Mitchell: Oh, he is so cute! .Woman : Yeah, and he never cries. Literally never. It39。s actually a little weird. .Cameron: Oh, no, that39。s not weird. My sister was born with a full set of teeth. .Mitchell: Yeah, that never happened. .Cameron: Oh. No? Really? You should39。ve seen her crib. It looked like beavers lived there. .Woman : Oh, is this Lily? .Mitchell: Oh, yes, it is. Hey, honey. Say hi to the baby. .Lily: My Daddy! .Mitchell: Oh! Okay, so that39。s one problem solved. . .[OPENING CREDITS] . .Cameron: Bye! See you soon! Or never. .Mitchell: Cam, I39。m a little freaked out about what Lily did. .Cameron: Oh, please. She barely touched him, and he went from zero to big crybaby. .Mitchell: We39。re talking about bringing another child into this house. How39。s that gonna work with Lily being so possessive of you? .Cameron: Why am I hearing an accusatory tone? .Mitchell: Oh, e on. You have to admit that you do coddle her. .Cameron: I will not apologize for loving our daughter. . 19 . Page 22Mitchell: I39。m not criticizing. I39。m not only criticizing, but we did talk about giving Lily a little more independence. .Cameron: Yeah, which is why we put her in preschool. .Mitchell: Yes, but you can39。t bear to leave her there. You always pick her up early. .Cameron: That is ridiculous. .Mitchell: Okay. Okay. Lily, honey, did daddy pick you up early from preschool today? .Lily: No. .Cameron: Case closed. .Lily: We didn39。t go. .Mitchell: Case opened. .Lily: We went shopping. .Cameron: That39。s enough. .Lily: We bought matchy hats. .Cameron: You are going to your room. .Mitchell: You39。re both going to her room. . .Cameron: Do we spend a lot of time together? Yes Do we have a special bond? Absolutely. But do I coddle her more than any other loving parent? It39。s possible. And for Lily39。s sake, I should probably work on that. . .Gloria: No, you calm down! This is how I talk when somebody accuses my Manny of stealing. .Jay: Who is that? .Gloria: It39。s the principal. He39。s saying that Manny stole some girl39。s locket. What, do you think that all Colombians are criminals because a Colombian necktie is a symbol of violence all over the world? No, no, I39。m not threatening you. Okay. Apology accepted. No, I didn39。t mean anything about the necktie. I just... I was trying to make a point. . .Alex : Could you L a little less O L? Don39。t you see what I39。m trying to do here? .Haley: Die alone? .Claire: Girls, dinner! .Alex : You know, why does Luke get his own room, and I still have to share with you? I can39。t take it anymore. . 20 . Page 23Haley: Me either, even if it is just for one more year... When I leave for college. .Alex : Is it one more year or when you leave for college? Because those happen to be two different things. . .Phil: So I hear this little voice ing from the cans and it39。s like... Help! I fell in the peaches! .Luke: That39。s Mom! Hilarious! .Phil: So hilarious. I39。m like, Claire? .Claire: You might wanna tell them that it was you who pushed me into the peaches in the first place. .Phil: This again? I wasn39。t even near you. .Claire: Yes, you were! You knocked me with the cart. It was pletely your fault. .Phil: Well, let39。s just agree to disagree. .Claire: No. II disagree to disagree. .Phil: Then you agree. .Claire: No. No, I don39。t, because I39。m right. .Phil: Okay, Claire. You39。re right. .Haley: As usual.