【正文】 ,Chance!Bomb!噢，機會來了！炸彈！T: Bomb?(出牌)B1: Double King!王炸！T: Oh….I win!Em……,Lady,you are a in and teach me!喔…我贏了！嗯…，姑娘，你是老手吧。進(jìn)來教我！M:(回來，看見B1)Oh,monster!(上前就打)B1:（倒)Ah…… 慘叫聲T:(氣憤)Wukong!Look what have you done!She is my teacher!M: She is a monster!T: Nonsense!(深呼吸)M: Oh,please don’t……T:It’s too late!(唱)Once more……you open the door…(泰坦尼克主題曲，走音離譜)太晚了！Once more……(緊箍咒)M: Please,Please,oh,no……(痛苦抱頭)T:(嗆住，咳)Wukong,I’m disappointed with you!So have you take some delicious food for me?M: Yes, Master, I found some delicious : bananas again?!How many times I have told you!I am a monk, not a monkey!I want meat, meat(加重語氣,又開始唱起泰坦尼克主題曲)M：OH, sorry, master, Please ,no…….T: Get the meat for me, quickly!（唐僧搖搖頭，玩起手機來）白骨精變成了一位年輕漂亮的女子X2:（曼妙的走過來，碰一下唐僧，唐僧不轉(zhuǎn)頭：leave me ，唐僧依然不轉(zhuǎn)頭：I said leave me ，x2開口說話）X2:hi….Mr handsome!T:（轉(zhuǎn)頭）wow…h(huán)i beauty!（扔掉畫冊，背景音樂響起，only you，神情對視，過會兒）e here,do you want some food？take some bananes。i am tang seng,you can call me Tanny X:hi Tanny…you look great,maybe we can have some time together alone T:yeah,you are right, what are we waiting for?!Let us go!(半路碰到悟空，悟空火眼金睛看出是妖怪)M:Monster！look at how I beat you into hell.（唐僧沒有攔的?。㏄amp。S: Are you Ok, moster?(扶T)S: Look,(伸食指)how many?看，這是幾？ T:Two…..(暈乎乎地)T: What you are doing,you bastard monkey!this beautiful lady is my guest, M:boss,it is a monster,he change himself into a charming girl so as to attact will eat you T:bullshit!you must be fed up with this trip to west…..T：I think you little monkey need some punishment(擺姿勢，要念咒語)M：（趕忙說）oh,no, master,not that :(sigh)it is so late!(念咒，喜洋洋美羊羊灰太狼紅太郎，別看我只是一只羊……悟空落荒而走)B3:Sun Wukong, game over!(變成B3)孫悟空，游戲結(jié)束了！B3:(看到B1,B2尸體)Oh….,my daughter, my wife!Who did it?！(哭喊)M: I’ll kill you, monster!(打)孫悟空突然冒出來打死妖精T:（想阻止，未及）You,you.....(險些暈，E,J扶住)You have killed three lives!S: No,they are not human beings!They are created by monster!T: Monster?You are a real monster!Never let me see you,go！M:(悲，離去)（音樂，營造 “假”悲傷氣氛）《人鬼情未了》 P: Master, brother Monkey is.......T: Don39。t mention that guy any more!B:(出現(xiàn))Ha,ha,ha!(三尸體B1,B2,B3在B招手后“飄”走)T:（驚）You are......B: How foolish you are ,Mr Tang!(E,J去阻斗，被擊退)B:(抓住T)I39。ll enjoy your meat and blood,ha,ha......準(zhǔn)備吃唐僧 M:(悄悄走到B后，打B暈)T: Wukong? S: Oh,Brother Monkey!（猴哥）P: Our hero is back!T: I,I can39。t understand......What happened? S: Boss,your IQ needs increasing!This monster changed its appearance into three shapes in order to cheat you!師傅，你應(yīng)該提高一下智商了！這個妖怪為了騙你變化成三個模樣！T: How,how did you find out S:(沉默).......Monkey39。s intuition(直覺)T: Wukong(M不理T)I admit my mistake this time(M仍不理)I39。m sorry(小聲)悟空，這次是為師錯怪了你，對不起 M: What? T: I39。m : Em? Louder,please? T: I......am......sorry.....(S 捂耳)第三篇：英語搞笑短劇劇本三打白骨精Three Times’ Beating Monster人物：T唐僧S：孫悟空 E：豬八戒J：沙僧B：白骨精（何平）B1：B變成的村姑 B2：B變成的太婆B3：B變化成的老頭 T: Emitofo, do you know where we are now? S: Bajie, map!E:(摸出，遞給S)S: Look, boss(湊近T)………（T、S一齊轉(zhuǎn)向E）T: Bajie!How Many times I have told you, don’t bring these pictures of beautiful girls!E: Oh, boss!Forgive me(伸手拿回)T:(縮手)I’ll keep it for you until we reach the west E: But……T: Emitofo, nothing is lust, lust is nothing!Map? E:(遞)…… we have arrived in White Tiger Mountain!Ah I can’t walk on any more!(坐)My stomach doesn’t allow : Fat Pig!E: Monkey,if you dare to say these two words once again, I will ,I will……….S: You will what(兇相)? E:(軟禁)I will help you catch fleas(跳蚤).S: Hm!T:（輕咳）Wukong,factually,I am a bit hungry Could you go to get me some food? E: You see , boss is hungry,too!T: Baijie!Don’t forget who ate my last meal!J: But boss,if a monster es while brother monkey is away…..T: Em…….It is a ,do you have any idea? S: No problem!(安裝)（B已躲在一旁偷看）J: This is…..?S: Electric net!I have learnt the energy of electricity from boss’s I made monster can approach you if you stay in it!T: Em……Wukong, you are being more and more scientific!Emitofo, knowledge is power!S: Bye!(走)T: Let’s play cards!(三人開始打牌)音樂《斗地主》 B: Hm!Hm!Electric net?You are too childish.(變成B1)B1:(接近三人，望著)Can I join you? J: I’m sorry, are playing Fighting Against landowner and three people are :(在一旁觀看)Oh,Chance!Bomb!T: Bomb?(打出)B1: Double King!T: Oh….I win!Em……,Lady, you are a in and teach me!(準(zhǔn)備開電網(wǎng)門)S:(回來，看見B1)Oh,monster!(上前就打)B1:（倒)Ah……T:(氣憤)Wukong!Look what have done!She is my teacher!S: She is a monster!T: Nonsense!(深呼吸)S: Oh,please don’t……T:It’s too late!(唱)Once more……you open the do