【正文】 outside of yourself 走出自我This may seem a little contradictory to the last tip, but in reality, they actually work you?ve explored the depths of yourself, you e away with a new ，但其實兩者卻是相輔相成的。獨處之后，你對自己獲得了全新了解。Now, it?s time to share that — not through telling others, but through being with ，你應(yīng)該把它分享出來——當然，這不是要你直接把它告知與人，而是要求你通過與人交往進行分享。When you?re in a group of people, try to give them your full energy and attention so you canunderstand them just as you did their uniqueness, as if they are an extensionof yourself in the beauty of others。see what they can teach you about ，請試著用心去了解他們，就好比你用心了解自己一樣。感同身受地欣賞他們的個性、觀察他們的優(yōu)點，看看自己能從中學到什么。Remember, there?s no need to do every one of these at the same each one a day at atime, determine which work best for you, and see what you can ：以上建議并不要求你一氣呵成，你可以每天嘗試一個，選擇最適合自己的建議，看看自己能從中收獲什么。美文:2015如何做嶄新的自己?THE annual ritual of the New Year?s resolution — I?ll lose 10pounds, get my finances in order, be more patient with myfamily, feel more grateful — misses the try to steel ourwills to do what we already know we should be reminders, however stern, are missed opportunitiesfor genuine selfrenewal.(Not to mention that the shelf life ofany motivational juice we generate in January tends to expirein February.)制定新年規(guī)劃這個一年一度的常規(guī)動作——我要減重10磅，要解決財務(wù)問題，要更耐心地對待家人，要更知道感恩——總是放錯重點。我們竭力強化意志，去做已經(jīng)意識到自己該做的那些事情。但好似“催命符”的備忘錄不管多嚴苛，都無法激勵人們進行真正的自我更新。（更別提1月份才成形的這些宏圖大志是多么容易過期，2月份一到，它們往往就宣告破產(chǎn)。）The turning over of a new year is an opportunity to create ourselves ? The key, Isuggest, is in shifting our understanding of the choices we many people, the mostimportant choices in life are sources of agony, dread, paralysis — even depression or ?t have to be like 。如何塑造呢？我認為，關(guān)鍵在于換個角度來理解我們所做的選擇。對很多人而言，生命中最重要的一些選擇是痛苦、恐懼、無力的根源，甚至會讓人產(chǎn)生抑郁和自殺傾向。但事情并不一定非是如此不可。A hypothetical example: Eve works as a textbook editor at a Boston publishing house and wasapproached by a small but prestigious imprint on the West Coast that was looking for a job would be a big promotion, with a significant raise, and Eve had always wanted towork in ，伊芙是波士頓某出版社的教科書編輯，西海岸一家正在尋找小說編輯的出版公司找到了她。該公司規(guī)模雖小，但卻久負盛名。接受這份工作，伊芙的職位會大大提升，薪水會大幅提高，而且她一直都想在小說領(lǐng)域發(fā)展。But Eve is in she move her husband and young daughter from their cozy life inBoston, her home of 15 years, to the wilds of California? If she stays, will she be forsaking theopportunity of a lifetime? If she moves, will her new boss turn out to be a jerk? Will her child bebullied at school? What if her husband can?t find a good job? Will the family quarrel, the marriagedissolve, her boss fire her for being inpetent, and she and her child end up on food stamps ina homeless shelter? 但伊芙卻面臨著艱難的抉擇。她已經(jīng)在波士頓生活了15年，該讓丈夫和年幼的女兒拋開這里的愜意生活，與她一起搬走嗎？如果選擇留在波士頓，她能夠割舍一生中難得的機遇嗎？如果選擇搬去西海岸，要是發(fā)現(xiàn)新老板是個混球可怎么辦？要是她的孩子在學校挨欺負可怎么辦？要是她丈夫找不到好工作可怎么辦？家里是否會爭吵不斷，婚姻是否會解體，老板是否會因為她無法勝任工作而炒她魷魚，她和孩子是否會落得在收容所靠食品券度日的田地？Many people are like Eve and see their choices as, in essence, problems of between jobs is not like puting the distance between Memphis and viewof choice as a matter of calculating maximal value is assumed in costbenefit analysis, governmentpolicy making and much of economic ?s even embedded in the apps you can downloadthat purport to help you decide whether to buy a new car, get married or change ，他們其實把選擇看成了計算利害得失的問題。但在不同工作之間做出選擇，跟測量從孟菲斯到孟買的距離可不是一回事。把選擇看作對價值最大化的計算，是內(nèi)化于成本收益分析、政府決策過程以及許多經(jīng)濟理論之中的一種觀念。它甚至潛藏在可以從網(wǎng)上下載的某些旨在幫助你決定是否要買新車、是否要結(jié)婚、是否要換工作的應(yīng)用程序之中。At the heart of this model is a simple assumption: that what you should choose is alwaysdetermined by facts in the world about which option has more value — facts that, if only you weresmart enough to discover, would make decisionmaking relatively ：你的選擇總是取決于世界上的某些與哪個選項會帶來更大價值有關(guān)的事實——你只要聰明到足以發(fā)現(xiàn)這些事實，就能夠相對容易地做出決策。But the assumption is we pute distances, there are only three possibilities: onedistance is more than, less than or equal to , when we pute value, there areonly three possibilities: one thing is better than, worse than or just as good as weshouldn?t assume that goodness is like don?t have the same structure as 。我們測算距離的時候，所面對的可能性只有三種：一段距離比另一段長，比另一段短，或者跟另一段相等。同樣，我們計算價值的時候，所面對的可能性也只有三種：一個事物比另一個好，比另一個糟，或者跟另一個差不多。但我們不該把事物的好壞和距離的長短等同起來。價值的體系和事實的體系是截然不同的。Options can be “on a par” — different in value while being in the same overall alternatives are on a par, you can?t make a mistake of reason in choosing one instead of one isn?t better than the other, you can?t choose nor are they alternatives are on a par, when the world doesn?t determine a single right thing to do,that doesn?t mean that value writ large has been of looking outward to find thevalue that determines what you should do, you can look inward to what you can stand behind,mit to, resolve to throw yourself mitting to an option, you can confer value “平分秋色”——雖然價值不完全相同，但也相差無幾。如果你有一些平分秋色的選項，你無論選擇哪個，都不會犯判斷上的錯誤。因為兩種選擇沒有優(yōu)劣之分，你不可能做出錯誤的選擇。不過，它們也并非一樣好。當選項平分秋色時，當世界上并非只有唯一正確的答案時，那并不意味著真正的價值已經(jīng)枯竭。與其從外部尋找價值來判斷自己應(yīng)該做些什么，你可以向內(nèi)心來詢問自己能夠支持、承諾，以及決心投身于什么。只要篤定于一個選項，你就為它賦予了價值。Of course, this isn?t to say that you should mit to being a firstclass jerk, pedophile ?s because being a jerk is not on a par with being a good ，這并不是說你應(yīng)該篤定于成為一個頭號混蛋、戀童癖，或者殺人犯。這是因為，做一個混蛋和做一個好人可不是平分秋色的選項。When we choose between options that are on a par, we make ourselves the authors of our of being led by the nose by what we imagine to be facts of the world, we shouldinstead recognize that sometimes the world is silent about what we should those cases, wecan create value for ourselves by mitting to an doing so, we not only create valuefor ourselves but we also(re)create might resolve to make her life in else, in her shoes, might resolve to start a new life in is no error here,only different resolutions that create different sorts of ，我們就成了自己人生的創(chuàng)造者。我們不應(yīng)該被我們想象中的世界現(xiàn)實牽著鼻子走，而是應(yīng)該認識到，有時，這個世界不會告訴我們應(yīng)該做什么。在這種情況下，我們應(yīng)該篤定一種選項，創(chuàng)造我們自己的價值。這樣做的話，我們不僅為自己創(chuàng)造了的價值，我們也（重新）創(chuàng)造了自己。伊芙可能決心在波士頓生活。而面臨同樣的境遇，另一個人可能會決定在加州開始新的生活。這無所謂對錯，只是不同的解決方案造就不同類型的人罷了。So Eve, faced with her choice, should reflect on what kind of person she can she besomeone who abandons a contented lif