【正文】
sh improved a ,I made friends with some of my are still keeping in touch by letter now.In a word,not only did I help those in need,but also I myself learn a lot that I have another chance to do volunteer work,I am ready to go.【解析】寫作分析:這是一篇給定標題的材料作文,需要逐條完成要點問題的回答,描述一次自己讓別人開心快樂的經歷,是一篇記敘文,首先要讀懂5個問題,其次要用恰當的語言和銜接手段把這五個問題的回答聯系在一起,變成一篇短文,同時也要注意在描述過去的故事的時候要正確運用過去時態(tài)。寫作亮點:既然這是一篇記敘文,就應該完整地呈現故事,需要加上必要的背景,指明時間(Last summer),地點(in rural area),簡要概括事件(teach children English),這是文章首句的點睛之筆,信息量豐富。短語和固定搭配的正確使用也為這篇文章增色不少,例如“adjust to…”(調整以適應…),“as time went by”(隨著時間的流逝),“made great progress”(取得巨大進步),“keep on learning”(繼續(xù)學習),“In a word”(總而言之)等等短語使用正確。在收尾部分表達了作者積極的人生態(tài)度,表示如果還有機會自己還樂于參與,這樣使得這篇文章結構完整,表意更加清晰。10.你是一位九年級的學生李明,你用英語寫一封郵件給你的筆友Amy,感謝她對你關心,并告訴她目前你在全力以赴為中考而學習,并與她交流一下目前的學習和生活情況。要點如下: (1). 雖然你大部分功課你都學得比較好,但是你對自己不滿意。你認為自己學習上還要多花工夫。 (2). 你的父母對你嚴格要求,但是也很關心你。(舉例說明,適當發(fā)揮2—3句)…… (3). 老師很樂意幫助你們。他們希望你們實現自己的理想。他們說(適當發(fā)揮2—3句)……注意: (1). 要求語句通順,意思連貫。 (2). 第2要點和第3要點要用2—3句話作適當發(fā)揮。 (3). 詞數90個左右,郵件開頭和結尾已經給出,不計入總詞數。Hello!Dear Amy, thank you for caring.Now I am working hard for the senior high school entrance examination. ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________How about you? I am looking forward to hearing from you. Yours Li Ming【答案】例文Hello!Dear Amy, thank you for caring.Now I am working hard for the senior high school entrance examination. I have got good results in most of my subjects, but I am not happy with myself. I think I must spend more time on my studies.My parents are really strict with me. However, they care for me as well. Once upon a time, I failed in my physics exam and felt stressed and sad. They had a close munication with me and helped me solve my problems and cheer up again.My teachers are also ready to help us. They hope that we can realize our dreams. They tell us to try our best and not to give up. Life is always full of ups and downs. It39。s important not to be afraid of any kind of difficulty. How about you? I am looking forward to hearing from you. Yours Li Ming【解析】【詳解】本文屬于材料作文,告訴艾米目前你在全力以赴為中考而學習,并與她交流一下目前的學習和生活情況。根據要表達的內容確定并準確運用時態(tài),上下文意思連貫,符合邏輯,可適當增加內容。亮點說明:這是一篇優(yōu)秀的作文,很好的完成了試題規(guī)定的任務,語言表達符合英語習慣,準確運用時態(tài)、主謂一致,特別使用一些亮點詞句,如get good results, spend+時間+on sth, be strict with, however, care for, as well, once upon a time, help sb do, cheer up, be ready to, tell sb to do, try one’s best to do, be full of以及it is adj to do sth等,增強邏輯關系,增加上下文意思連貫,用詞準確,句子通順,行文連貫?!军c睛】寫作時可以從以下幾個方面做起:認真審題。審好題是寫好書面表達的關鍵。審題時要注意試題的要求,抓住要點,詞數符合要求。構思提綱。有了提綱,我們就可以根據提綱和主題確定相關的寫作材料。通常書面表達給出的話題是開放的,而具體的內容要求學生自己發(fā)揮,因此選擇恰當的素材也是使短文中心突出、明確的關鍵。初寫短文。一切都準備就緒,就可以動筆寫作了,在寫作的過程中我們要注意句子的準確性、連貫性以及簡潔性。使用的詞語、短語及句型盡量用自己有把握的詞。同時還要注意使用恰當的連詞,使句子銜接自然。修改潤色。修改潤色是獲取高分的必要步驟。這一步我們除了檢查短文的各種錯誤外,還要檢查語法結構是否合理,有無重復、啰嗦的語言,大小寫是否正確,格式是否正確,詞數是否符合要求等。