【正文】
bout human relations and reaching out to people in more humaneways. 以下是最后一個(gè)練習(xí)。我希望各位去看看自己的電子郵件收件匣,找出最近一次你請(qǐng)別人幫忙是什么時(shí)候。請(qǐng)看看你所使用的表意方式。你是否有說這類的話:「你是很棒的資源?!够颉肝仪纺阋粋€(gè)人情?!埂肝覍?duì)你有義務(wù)。」所有這些表意方式背后都有一個(gè)象征。那象征就是經(jīng)濟(jì)、資產(chǎn)負(fù)債表、會(huì)計(jì)、交易。如果你用交易的方式來看待人際關(guān)系,對(duì)我們?nèi)祟惗?,從根本上就?huì)覺得不舒服。我們應(yīng)該要用更人性的方式,來看待人際關(guān)系及向外去接觸人。 Hereamp。39。s an idea as to how to do so. Look atwords like amp。quot。please,amp。quot。 amp。quot。thank you,amp。quot。 amp。quot。youamp。39。reweleamp。quot。 in other languages. Look at the literal translation of thesewords. Each of these words is a word that helps us impose upon other people inour social networks. And so, the word amp。quot。thank you,amp。quot。 if you look at itin Spanish, Italian, French, amp。quot。gracias,amp。quot。 amp。quot。grazie,amp。quot。amp。quot。merciamp。quot。 in French. Each of them are amp。quot。graceamp。quot。 andamp。quot。mercy.amp。quot。 They are godly words. Thereamp。39。s nothing economic or transactional about those words. 至于要怎么做,這里有個(gè)想法。看看像「請(qǐng)」、「謝謝你」、「不客氣」這些詞在其他語言怎么說。看看這些詞的字面翻譯。這每一個(gè)詞,都是在協(xié)助我們利用社交網(wǎng)絡(luò)中的其他人。所以,針對(duì)「謝謝你」這個(gè)詞,它們?cè)谖靼嘌牢?、意大利文、法文分別是「gracias」、「grazie」,以及「merci」。意思都是「優(yōu)雅」和「慈悲」。它們是虔誠的詞。這些詞沒有任何經(jīng)濟(jì)或交易的元素。 The word amp。quot。youamp。39。re weleamp。quot。 great persuasion theorist Robert Cialdini says weamp。39。ve got toget our favors back. So we need to emphasize the transaction a little bit says, amp。quot。Letamp。39。s not say amp。39。Youamp。39。re wele.amp。39。 Instead say, amp。39。I know youamp。39。d dothe same for me.amp。39。amp。quot。 But sometimes it may be helpful to not think intransactional ways, to eliminate the transaction, to make it a little bit moreinvisible. 「不客氣」這個(gè)詞很有趣。偉大的說服理論學(xué)家羅伯特喬爾第尼說:我們得把人情要回來。所以我們得要多強(qiáng)調(diào)一點(diǎn)交易。他說:「讓我們別說『不客氣』」。改成「我知道換成你也會(huì)為我這么做?!沟袝r(shí),不用交易的方式來思考,可能會(huì)比較有幫助,把交易元素除去,讓它更不顯眼。 And in fact, if you look in Chinese, the word amp。quot。bamp。uacute。 kamp。egrave。 qamp。igrave。amp。quot。in Chinese, amp。quot。Youamp。39。re wele,amp。quot。 means, amp。quot。Donamp。39。t be formal。 weamp。39。refamily. We donamp。39。t need to go through those formalities.amp。quot。 And amp。quot。kembaliamp。quot。in Indonesian is amp。quot。Come back to me.amp。quot。 When you say amp。quot。Youamp。39。reweleamp。quot。 next time, think about how you can maybe eliminate thetransaction and instead strengthen that social tie. Maybe amp。quot。Itamp。39。s great tocollaborate,amp。quot。 or amp。quot。Thatamp。39。s what friends are for.amp。quot。 事實(shí)上,如果看中文怎么說,「不客氣」在中文的意思是「別這么拘泥禮節(jié),我們是一家人,不需要這些禮節(jié)形式?!乖谟《饶嵛鱽喺Z中「kembali」的意思是「回來我這里」。下次當(dāng)你要說「不客氣」時(shí),想想看你可以如何除去一些交易元素,改成加強(qiáng)社交連結(jié)。也許說「能一起合作很棒」,或「朋友不就該如此嗎」。 I want you to think about how you thinkabout this ticket that you have to travel your social universe. Hereamp。39。s onemetaphor. Itamp。39。s a mon metaphor: amp。quot。Life is a journey.amp。quot。 Right? Itamp。39。s atrain ride, and youamp。39。re a passenger on the train, and there are certain peoplewith you. Certain people get on this train, and some stay with you, some leaveat different stops, new ones may enter. I love this metaphor, itamp。39。s a beautifulone. 我希望各位能思考一下要怎么用你手上的這張票,在你的社交宇宙中旅行。以下是一個(gè)比喻。它是常見的比喻:「人生是一趟旅程?!箤?duì)吧?它是趟火車旅程,你是火車上的一名乘客,有些人和你在一起。有些人會(huì)搭上這臺(tái)火車,有些人會(huì)留下,有些人會(huì)在不同的站下車,可能有新乘客上車。我喜歡這個(gè)比喻,它很美麗。 But I want you to consider a different metaphor. This one is passive,being a passenger on that train, and itamp。39。s quite linear. Youamp。39。re off to someparticular destination. Why not instead think of yourself as an atom, bumpingup against other atoms, maybe transferring energy with them, bonding with thema little and maybe creating something new on your travels through the socialuniverse. 但我希望各位能想想另一個(gè)比喻。身為火車乘客的這個(gè)比喻很被動(dòng),且它是很線性的。你要前往特定的目的地。為什么不改個(gè)方式,把你自己想成一個(gè)原子,和其他原子碰撞,也許和它們一起傳送能量,和它們結(jié)合一下,也許在你的社交宇宙中旅行時(shí),創(chuàng)造出新東西來。 Thank you so much. And I hope we bump intoeach other again.(Applause) 非常謝謝。我希望我們有機(jī)會(huì)再次碰撞。(掌聲)