【正文】 ”太不像話了，是不是，朋友怎么可以這樣冷酷無(wú)情？But it would be much less shocking if I told you it wasn39。The woman was so hurt she couldn39。So she was very excited, she bought a new dress, and they met at an upscale New York City bar for a drink.她非常興奮，還為約會(huì)買(mǎi)了新裙子，然后他們約在紐約的一個(gè)高級(jí)酒吧里喝一杯。tr?stw?240。And you have to break this kind of negative cycle before it begins.而且你必須在這種負(fù)能量循環(huán)開(kāi)始前打破它。m?r?la?z] ；使墮落；使士氣低落)But you cannot allow yourself to bee convinced you can39。But even as we were driving away, you could see by the look on his face he was convinced that I was getting away with something.但是直到我們開(kāi)走了，你仍可以看到他的表情他認(rèn)定了我一定干了什么壞事。”But that made no sense to him whatsoever. 但對(duì)他來(lái)說(shuō)，我的回答莫名奇妙。We were driving with friends down a dark road at night, when a police car stopped us.有一天晚上，我倆和朋友們?cè)谝粭l很黑的路上開(kāi)著車(chē)一輛警車(chē)把我們攔下了。t succeed, and they believed it.因?yàn)椴灰欢ㄔ谑裁吹胤?，有那么一次失敗，讓他們認(rèn)定了自己不能成功。t succeed.然后你就更加確信你成功不了。ll stop trying too soon,or you won39。Are you aware of how your mind reacts to failure? You need to be. 你清不清楚你是怎么對(duì)應(yīng)失敗的？你應(yīng)該清楚。 The first two toddlers were perfectly capable of sliding a red button. 前兩個(gè)小孩完全有能力滑動(dòng)那個(gè)紅鈕。One little girl tried pulling the purple button, then pushing it, and then she just sat back and looked at the box, with her lower lip trembling. 一個(gè)小女孩對(duì)紫色的鈕又拉又按，然后她就坐下來(lái)，瞧著那盒子，下嘴唇開(kāi)始發(fā)顫。t the only psychological wound that distorts our perceptions and misleads us.孤獨(dú)不是唯一，可能扭曲及誤導(dǎo)我們的心理創(chuàng)傷。t treat a psychological wound 因?yàn)椋銦o(wú)法治愈心理上的創(chuàng)傷.if you don39。 And that39。In fact, scientists have concluded that taken together, 事實(shí)上，科學(xué)家已經(jīng)得出結(jié)論，Chronic loneliness poses as significant a risk for your long term health longevity as cigarette smoking.長(zhǎng)期的孤獨(dú)對(duì)你的健康和長(zhǎng)壽的負(fù)面影響比抽煙還要糟。我可不是開(kāi)玩笑。There is a lot of research on loneliness, and all of it is horrifying.我們有很多孤獨(dú)的研究都很可怕。It makes us believe that those around us care much less than they actually do. 它使我們相信身邊的人不再在乎我們，It makes us really afraid to reach out, 它使我們不敢與人聯(lián)絡(luò)，because why set yourself up for rejection and heartache when your heart is already aching more than you can stand?為什么給自己自取其辱呢，你的心痛還不夠多嗎？I was in the grips of real loneliness back then. 我那個(gè)時(shí)候被孤獨(dú)緊緊包圍著but I was surrounded by people all day, so it never occurred to me.但我總和別人在一起我自己都沒(méi)有意識(shí)到。t have an answer then, but I do today, and it39。t understand, if you saw I wasn39。I put the phone back on the receiver, and it rang a second later, and it was my brother,我剛把電話插回接口一秒鐘，電話就響了。And I began to realize that after being away forever 10 months, he no longer missed me the way I missed him.我開(kāi)始意識(shí)到，在我離開(kāi)十個(gè)月后，他不再像我想他一樣想我了。s out with friends, he will call later.” 由于時(shí)差的關(guān)系，我就想，好吧，他是和朋友一起出去了，他晚點(diǎn)會(huì)打來(lái)的。We decide to splurge, and that week we would talk for 10 minutes. 我們決定奢侈一下，我們聊上了十分鐘。But while he remained among family and friends, I was alone in a new country. 當(dāng)他和家人朋友在一起時(shí)，我卻孤零零的在一個(gè)新的國(guó)度。In fact, the hardest thing I39。So he39?！盜t is time we closed the gap between our physical and our psychological health.我們應(yīng)該消除這種隊(duì)身體和精神健康的區(qū)別對(duì)待。re feeling depressed? Just shake it off, it39。It39。What do we teach our children about emotional hygiene? Nothing. 我們教給孩子們情緒保健嗎？完全沒(méi)有。t bee infected, and you have to care for your teeth by brushing twice a day. 這孩子剛學(xué)會(huì)系鞋帶，但他都知道要保護(hù)傷口以免感染，同時(shí)還要一天刷兩次牙來(lái)保護(hù)牙齒?！盩his favoritism we show the body over the mind, I see it everywhere. 這種對(duì)身體多于精神的偏愛(ài)隨處可見(jiàn)。t starving. 當(dāng)然，我也沒(méi)有被餓著。Now, one thing about being a twin is that it makes you an expert at spotting favoritism. 要知道，作為雙胞胎，你很快就在意見(jiàn)事上成為專家。who was an incredibly loving brother. 他是個(gè)富有愛(ài)心的好兄弟。And clearly, I wasn39。t tell you how many people look at my business card and say, ”O(jiān)h, a psychologist, So not a real doctor,” as if it should say that on my card. 我花了九年時(shí)間獲得了心理學(xué)博士學(xué)位，但不知道有多少人看了我的名片說(shuō)：“哦，心理學(xué)家，原來(lái)不是真正的醫(yī)生。He cried for a minute, b