【正文】 ke a sentence with the word egg?Student: ate a piece of cake yesterday.Teacher: Then where is the “egg?Student: In the cake,Sir.【譯文】雞蛋在哪里？老師：你能用“雞蛋”一詞造句嗎？學(xué)生：可以。店里有三只鸚鵡，其中一只賣五千元，另一只賣一萬元，還有一只賣三萬元。幽默故事：There was a guy who went into a shop to buy a parrot. There were three parrots in the shop. One was $5,000。顧客問老板：「為什么這只要賣五千元？這個(gè)價(jià)錢對(duì)這種鸚鵡來說太貴了！」老板說：「因?yàn)槲矣杏?xùn)練他講話。我昨天吃了一塊蛋糕。他買了張票進(jìn)去了。 一個(gè)女的問她，“你為什么要買那么多票啊? 你見到了幾個(gè)朋友？ 沒有， 我里面沒朋友， 但是每當(dāng)我進(jìn)門的時(shí)候一位大的女人老把我的票給剪了 Child:My uncle has 1000 men under him.Man:He is really does do?Child:A maintenance man in a cemetery 【譯文】他真是一個(gè)大人物小孩：我叔叔下面有1000個(gè)人。因?yàn)榈侥壳盀橹?，還沒有人活到400多歲。t you think you39。八歲或十歲左右的孩子有時(shí)會(huì)迷戀班上某個(gè)人，然后就以為自己戀愛了?！?“I39?！?“是的，但是你的孩子大喊大叫，把另外四個(gè)病人嚇跑了。ll venture an answer, said an old lady. We have worn them off sitting here so long.. 【譯文】教進(jìn)化論的老師已經(jīng)滔滔不絕地講了快兩個(gè)小時(shí)，他的話題又來了：“讓我向進(jìn)化論者提個(gè)問題——如果我們?cè)?jīng)像狒狒那樣長著尾巴，那么現(xiàn)在尾巴到哪里去了？” “我來試試看，”一位老太太說。 he will give me very nice food to eat. Then he took the apples and threw them away into the dust. He went on and came to a river. The river had bee very big。 you may be glad to have them at some other time. 【譯文】 一個(gè)人正朝著一個(gè)富人的房子走去，當(dāng)他沿著路走時(shí)，在路的一邊他發(fā)現(xiàn)一箱好蘋果，他說：“我不打算吃那些蘋果，因?yàn)楦蝗藭?huì)給我更多的食物，他會(huì)給我很好吃的東西。他就開始去找吃的，他找到蘋果，很高興地把它們從塵土中翻出來吃了。 “昨天給你的錢干什么了？” “我給了一個(gè)可憐的老太婆，”他回答說?！?Drunk One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, What39。s only ONE policeman! 【譯文】醉酒 一天，父親與小兒子一塊兒回家。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子說，“那兒只有一個(gè)警察呀！”Sleeping Pills Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extrastrong sleeping pills. Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm. He took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss: I didn39。 星期天晚上鮑勃吃了藥，睡得很好，在鬧鐘響之前就醒了過來。因?yàn)樗日f3加3等于6，然后她又說2加4等于6.”Ten CandiesMother asks her son, “Jim, if you have ten candies, and you eat four, then how many candles do you have?”“Ten.” Jim says.“Then,” Mother asks.“Yes, Mum. Four candles are in my stomach and six candies are out of my stomach. Four and six is ten, isn’t it right?”【譯文】 十塊糖 媽媽問兒子：“吉姆， 如果你有10塊糖，吃了4塊，那你還有幾塊糖？” “10塊。因?yàn)?塊在我的肚子里面，6塊在肚子外面，4加6等于10，不對(duì)嗎？”Count Tomorrow MorningIt’s a right. John is looking at the sky.Tom is John’s younger brother. He asks John “What are you doing?”John says, “I’m counting stars.”Tom laughs and says, “It’s really dark now. Why not count them tomorrow morning?”【譯文】明天早上數(shù) 這是一個(gè)晚上?！睖沸χf：“現(xiàn)在天空太黑了?！?可是托尼說：“剛才你盤子里有一只蒼蠅?！?警察走后：“湯姆，你每天都到那條街上散步，但是今天你迷路了，你怎么了？” 這位老人像孩子般的笑道：“我迷路了？我是不想走路回家。今天他又睡著了。“沒有人在笑呀。剛才我睡著了。I Made Granny Glad A teacher is telling her students the importance of making others glad. “Now, children,” she says“Did you make someone else glad?” “Please, teacher,” says a small boy, “I made someone glad yesterday.”“Well done. Who was that?” The teacher says.“My granny.” The boy says.“Good boy. Now tell us how you made your grandmother glad.” The teacher says.“I went to see her yesterday, and stayed with her for three hours. Then I said to her, ‘Granny, I’m going home.’ And she said, “well. I’m glad!”【譯文】我讓奶奶高興了 一位教師正在對(duì)學(xué)生將使人高興的重要性?！拔夷棠?。“是這樣的，老師?！盜 can’t Cook It It’s sunny day in spring. Miss Cat is fishing. Suddenly the fishing rod moves. “Great! Oh, it’s so heavy!” Miss Cat says happily. The fish is plucked out of the river. “Oh, a big fish! How big the fish is!” She cheers. But she puts the fish into the river and goes on fishing. At the time Mr. House goes by and sees it. “What do you set it free?” He asks. “Because my pot is too small. I can’t cook it,” Miss Cat says.【譯文】我沒法煮它 這是春天里一個(gè)陽光明媚的日子，貓小姐在河邊釣魚?！鞍。∫粭l大魚！這條大魚可真大呀！”她歡呼道?！必埿〗慊卮鹫f?！鞍眩　眿D人說，“我想你剛才還說你的狗不咬人。怎么了？” 蘇珊說：“別擔(dān)心。在哪里呢？”蘇珊說。 “cup？ 你以為是cap.”蘇珊說道。他會(huì)在地板上打滾。 一天，巴比跑了出去，3天沒回家。這只狐貍正盯著他的食物。狐貍喀什繞著樹跑，巴比就追著它跑。很快就吃光了所有食物，而后跑走了。她又善良又美麗。她不喜歡白雪公主，因?yàn)榘籽┕魇鞘澜缟献蠲利惖呐ⅰ?“你是一個(gè)好姑娘，我不想殺你。他們很喜歡白雪公主并留她一起住下來了。各有一個(gè)嬰兒。 “不，這是我的孩子！這個(gè)死的是你的！” 他們都想要這個(gè)活著的孩子，于是她們?nèi)ヒ娝_門國王。請(qǐng)不要?dú)⒘宋业暮⒆?！”一位母親哭喊道。這只老師正從它家的窗戶跳下去?！崩鲜蟾`笑著說：“這家伙真笨?！百\？賊在哪里?。俊本d羊感到奇怪。但是這只南瓜太大了，她沒有辦法把這么大的南瓜帶回家。南瓜好像車輪。 at night, I guard the house. But you…”“Me? How about me ?” the ox says“You can only plough or draw a cart,” the dog slightly says.“Yes. It’s true,” the ox says. “But if I don’t plough, what do you guard?”【譯文】 牛和狗 一頭牛和一只狗同時(shí)為一個(gè)農(nóng)夫工作?！惫凡恍傅卣f?？墒撬能囋诟咚俟飞蠅牧?。那些企鵝也還在車上，特高興的樣子。但是我的錢包丟在電影院了，所有我現(xiàn)在要回那里去。我跟你們開完先的。我們?cè)僖膊粫?huì)相信你了。結(jié)果這個(gè)淘氣的男孩被狼吃了?！彼蠛埃耙青従觽冎?，他們會(huì)怎么想？”“我會(huì)改名字的。第一只小豬找到一些稻草，他蓋了一座漂亮的草房子?！靶∝i，讓我進(jìn)去，我是我你兄弟。狼發(fā)怒了，他爬上了屋頂并從煙囪往下跳。The Wolf and the Crane There is a bad wolf in the forest. One day he is eating a lamb. Suddenly a bone sticks in his throat. “Oh, a bone is my throat.” He goes to see a doctor, “Please help me.” The doctor, Mr. Panda says, “Sorry, I can’t help you. The bone is inside.”“What can I do?” the wolf is sad. Then he meets a crane. “Oh, dear crane. Please help me. A bone is in my throat. I will pay for your help.” “Ok. Let me have a try,” the crane says. She pulls out the bone with her bill. “Now I will go. Remember your words. You should pay me,” she says. “Well. Pay you. I remember,” the wolf says. With the words, the wolf bites off the crane’s neck and eats her up.【譯文】 狼與鶴 森林里有一只很壞的狼。”醫(yī)生熊貓先生說：“很抱歉，我?guī)筒涣四?。“親愛的鶴小姐，請(qǐng)救救我吧，一根頭卡在我的喉嚨里了?！柄Q小姐說?！? “好的，給你報(bào)酬。當(dāng)他們深入森林時(shí)，突然聽到一個(gè)聲音。本試著爬在樹上，可是他做不到。本趕快躺在地上裝死。熊又低下頭聞了本，以為他死了，然后就走開了。 A Clever Hare Billy hare is hungry and finds a radish. What he picks it up, Mr. Fox is behind him and wants to eat him. “I’m hungry, too. You’ve my dinner. I’m going to eat you,” ha says. Billy Hare is shocked, but he isn’t scared. He says, “Follow me. I have better food for you.” They go to a well.“Look down here,” Billy Hare says “There is something in the water. “What’s that?” Mr. Fox asks surprisingly. “It’s a big and fat hen. Let’s get down and fetch it.” Billy Hare says and gets down with a pail. “Can you out the hen into the pail?” Mr. Fox shouts.