【正文】 y? Student: Of course. He must be a great man, for so far nobody has lived to over 400 years.一名偉人 老師：如果莎士比亞還活著，他會(huì)是一名偉人嗎？學(xué)生：當(dāng)然。 接著兩三分鐘后他又出來買票。那時(shí)他第一次去。我從沒聽過他講話、吹口哨或唱歌，也沒看過他跳舞，什么都沒有！不過另外兩只叫他：『老板！』」Where is the egg?Teacher:Can you make a sentence with the word egg?Student: ate a piece of cake yesterday.Teacher:Then where is the “egg?Student:In the cake,Sir.雞蛋在哪里？老師：你能用“雞蛋”一詞造句嗎？學(xué)生：可以。店里有三只鸚鵡，其中一只賣五千元，另一只賣一萬元，還有一只賣三萬元。激發(fā)小朋友們學(xué)英語的興趣，幫助他們提高成績。最好每天背一篇，會(huì)有不錯(cuò)的效果的 O(∩_∩)O英文幽默故事：There was a guy who went into a shop to buy a parrot. There werethree parrots in the shop. One was $5,000。顧客問老板：「為什么這只要賣五千元？這個(gè)價(jià)錢對(duì)這種鸚鵡來說太貴了！」老板說：「因?yàn)槲矣杏?xùn)練他講話。我昨天吃了一塊蛋糕。他買了張票進(jìn)去了。 一個(gè)女的問她，“你為什么要買那么多票啊? 你見到了幾個(gè)朋友？ 沒有， 我里面沒朋友， 但是每當(dāng)我進(jìn)門的時(shí)候一位大的女人老把我的票給剪了 Child:My uncle has 1000 men under him.Man:He is really does do?Child:A maintenance man in a cemetery 他真是一個(gè)大人物小孩：我叔叔下面有1000個(gè)人。因?yàn)榈侥壳盀橹梗€沒有人活到400多歲。t you think you39。八歲或十歲左右的孩子有時(shí)會(huì)迷戀班上某個(gè)人，然后就以為自己戀愛了。” “I39?！?“是的，但是你的孩子大喊大叫，把另外四個(gè)病人嚇跑了。ll venture an answer, said an old lady. We have worn them off sitting here so long.. 教進(jìn)化論的老師已經(jīng)滔滔不絕地講了快兩個(gè)小時(shí)，他的話題又來了：“讓我向進(jìn)化論者提個(gè)問題——如果我們?cè)?jīng)像狒狒那樣長著尾巴，那么現(xiàn)在尾巴到哪里去了？” “我來試試看，”一位老太太說。 he will give me very nice food to eat. Then he took the apples and threw them away into the dust. He went on and came to a river. The river had bee very big。 you may be glad to have them at some other time. 【譯文】 一個(gè)人正朝著一個(gè)富人的房子走去，當(dāng)他沿著路走時(shí)，在路的一邊他發(fā)現(xiàn)一箱好蘋果，他說：“我不打算吃那些蘋果，因?yàn)楦蝗藭?huì)給我更多的食物，他會(huì)給我很好吃的東西。他就開始去找吃的，他找到蘋果，很高興地把它們從塵土中翻出來吃了。 “昨天給你的錢干什么了？” “我給了一個(gè)可憐的老太婆，”他回答說?！?Drunk One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, What39。s only ONE policeman! 醉酒 一天，父親與小兒子一塊兒回家。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子說，“那兒只有一個(gè)警察呀！”Sleeping Pills Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extrastrong sleeping pills. Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm. He took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss: I didn39。 星期天晚上鮑勃吃了藥，睡得很好，在鬧鐘響之前就醒了過來。因?yàn)樗日f3加3等于6，然后她又說2加4等于6.”Story 2 Ten Candies Mother asks her son, “Jim, if you have ten candies, and you eat four, then how many candles do you have?” “Ten.” Jim says. “Then,” Mother asks. “Yes, Mum. Four candles are in my stomach and six candies are out of my stomach. Four and six is ten, isn’t it right?”故事2 十塊糖 媽媽問兒子：“吉姆， 如果你有10塊糖，吃了4塊，那你還有幾塊糖？” “10塊。因?yàn)?塊在我的肚子里面，6塊在肚子外面，4加6等于10，不對(duì)嗎？”Story 3 Count Tomorrow Morning It’s a right. John is looking at the sky. Tom is John’s younger brother. He asks John “What are you doing?” John says, “I’m counting stars.” Tom laughs and says, “It’s really dark now. Why not count them tomorrow morning?” 故事3 明天早上數(shù) 這是一個(gè)晚上。”湯姆笑著說：“現(xiàn)在天空太黑了。” 可是托尼說：“剛才你盤子里有一只蒼蠅。” 警察走后：“湯姆，你每天都到那條街上散步，但是今天你迷路了，你怎么了？” 這位老人像孩子般的笑道：“我迷路了？我是不想走路回家。今天他又睡著了?！皼]有人在笑呀。剛才我睡著了。Story 8 Adding Feet to a Snake One day, Mr. Lion holds a party. Many animals e and drink a lot of wine. At last there is a pot of wine. Who can drink it? They drink out an idea and decide to have a matchDraw a snake. If you finish first, you can get it. Soon finishes drawing. “Yeah, I’ve finished. I’m ,” he says. But he draws again and says, “Oh, let me add feet and my snake.” At the time, Mr. Gorilla also finishes. He takes away the pot of wine and drinks, then he says, “That isn’t a snake. Snakes have no feet. I get the wine.”故事8 畫蛇添足一天， 獅子先生舉行一場聚會(huì)，許多動(dòng)物都來了，他們喝很多酒。 不一會(huì)，狼先生畫好了?！边@是猩猩先生也畫好了。 一天，他看見一戶人家的門頭有個(gè)很漂亮的鈴鐺?！? 于是他就這樣做了。這不算一張好畫。” 李先生也不生氣，只是拿起筆給龍點(diǎn)上眼睛。 一龍真龍聽說了葉公的事，很受感動(dòng)，就想去拜訪葉公，和他交個(gè)朋友。可是葉先生飛快地逃了。是誰呢？”老師說。現(xiàn)在告訴我們，你是怎樣使你奶奶高興的？”老師問道?！彼f：“啊，我很高興。”青蛙就問他：“你從哪里來？”“我從天上上來?！睘貘f說：“你可以出來，自己看看嘛?！疤袅?！哇，好重?。　必埿〗愀吲d地喊著。 這時(shí)候馬先生路過，看見這一切，就問她：“為什么你把魚放了？” “因?yàn)槲业腻佁?。她問店主：“你的狗咬人嗎？?店主說：“不，我的狗不咬人?！盨tory Wrong Mark’s favorite cup is broken, and he feels unhappy. Susan sees and asks him, “ You look sad. What’s the matter?” Mark says, “There is something wrong with my cup.” Susan says, “Don’t worry. I can repair it.” Mark feels surprised and asks, “Repair? You can repair it? You?” “Yes. Believe me! Where is it?” Susan answers. “Here. My cup is broken. Are you sure you can repair it?” Mark takes out his cuo.故事16 誤會(huì) 馬克最喜歡的杯子了，他很不開心?！?馬克聽了感到奇怪，就問她：“補(bǔ)？你會(huì)補(bǔ)？真的嗎？” “沒錯(cuò)。我的cup破了。Story 17 My “Clever” Dog Bobby is my dog. I love him. He can roll on the floor. He can play balls with me. He can look after my house when I am out. Bobby is very clever. But sometimes he isn’t. One day Bobby runs away. He is out for three days. After he es back, I tie him to a tree and give him some food. Bobby begins to eat. But then he stops. He sees a fox. The fox is looking at his food. Bobby barks and barks. He wants to catch the fox. But he can’t. The fox runs round the tree. Bobby runs after the fox. So the rope goes ground the tree. Of course Bobby can’t run. The doc can eat the food. Quickly she eats up the food and runs away.故事17 我“聰明“的狗 巴比是我的狗。他能在外出的時(shí)候幫我看家。巴比吃著食物，但是又停了下來。他想抓住狐貍。當(dāng)然巴比就跑不開了。 I don’t want to kill you.” So he lets Snow White go. Snow White goes into a forest. She finds a house, and goes into the house. Seven dwarfs live there. They like Snow White, and ask Snow White to live with them. No sooner, the new Queen dies. Because she isn’t the most beautiful woman in the world.故事 18 白雪公主 白雪公主出生在一個(gè)寒冷的冬天，因此她像雪一樣潔白無瑕。她媽媽——皇后也愛她，但她死了?！耙虼?，她命令一位獵人去殺白雪公主。 白雪公主走進(jìn)一片森林，她發(fā)現(xiàn)了一個(gè)房子，并且走進(jìn)了房子。Story 19 The Clever King Solomon Long, long ago, there was a king. Solomon was his name. He was very clever. In his country, there were two women. They lived in the same house and each had a child. One night, one of the babies died. The dead baby’s mother took the other woman’s baby, and put it in her own bed. The next morning , they had a quarrel. “No, this is my baby!” The dead is yours!”