【正文】 第一篇：搞笑英語話劇劇本搞笑英語話劇劇本《西門吹雪與葉孤城》搞笑7人劇本《西門吹雪與葉孤城》演員表：西門吹雪、葉孤城、花滿樓、king、路人、上官雪兒旁白道具：牛奶兩袋，匕首一把，戒子一枚，紙屑若干。第一幕：決戰(zhàn)紫荊城之顛旁白：A quiet village is covered with white are dancing in the man is walking along the street ,step by is ing in mysterious man ．X：oH ,I am sorry to knock you!Y:, Never mind :Excuse me，who are you on earth? Could you tell me your name? Y:,I won’t change my name!no matter what ’m the most famous—— are you? X::Ar, ximenchui xue?the best MartialArts? X:Great, you know me!Today is your dead date!Y抱腿：Please, please…… Don’t kill me!Let me go!X:No, I must kill you!Y:I don’t want to be are a eightyyearold mother and a threeyear old son to be looked after by me!X:No way!Because we are fighting now!you know ? Y突然站起冷冷的說：Don’t force me!X:Pardon!(Y拿出一袋牛奶)X搶過牛奶:milk, very good!I like drinking do you know that? Y:please drink it!X喝完牛奶:Thanks, Y:Do you still want to kill me ? X:Sure, must!Milk is (惱怒+冷酷):Very good!very good!I hope you will not forget what you said!? X:I’m sure I won’t!Y:I must give you a lesson!If I don’t beat you this time, you’ll never behave properly!321!X捂著肚子，蹲下（做痛苦狀）：Oach,Oach!Y大笑：HaHa……the milk is exceed the time limit（一人路過，x起身跑過去）X可憐狀: excuse me!Help , help , Where is the washroom?please ,tell :Oh,I see ,go along this street and turn right when you see a corssing road!X:Thanks,:byebye(以勝利者的語氣，轉(zhuǎn)頭,看見 花滿樓)Y:Who are you? H:Hua—man—lou!Have you seen ximenchuixue? Y:Yes, he was beaten by me and is in “WC”.H驚訝:Now you are the best in the world!Y:You are right!H:Teriffic!you are the one my king looking for!do you want join in us? If you follow myking,he will give what you :Yes,It’s very :Ok, follow me, Let’s go to see my king!第二幕：無間道H:My dearest!let me introduce yegucheng to you!（指Y）this is :sit down plese, :excuse me,I have a you give me what I want just if I follow you?King:yes,I :That’s you give me a MM ? K:of are the one who has the similar taste with me!Hahaha……Y:of M:hello，帥鍋..K: this is ,now let’s have a ，《婚禮進行曲》起，H神甫狀:Yegucheng!Do you want to follow my king no matter what happens such as cold headache , poor ,rich?Y: Yes,I : Huamanlou, the ring on his finger!（音樂停）X唱著上:(看到戒指)this ring should be mine!K:But who are you ? why should it belong to you? Y急切: king!Dear king!I must go now , my brother is looking for :yegucheng!Come here!I want to tell you something!Y抱X的腿:old brother!Forgive me!X:Forgive you? Why ? Y: Once there was a chance before me , I lost the god give me another chance, I’ll tell you “ I love you ” , If the remustbea limited period,I hope it is thousand year!X:You shall cheat me!all you did are wrong!how can you tell me the lady’s “WC”!Y:I like going lady’s ……I……I think that you like what I like.(Ｙ又拿出一袋牛奶)X:milk?I love :Don’t say that “you love me”.I’ll kill you for you saying dirty word to me!X:What?(側(cè)耳裝著聽不到)You—kill—me?e, e…(Ｘ上去抓住K)K:Fuck must kill you!X:How can you kill me? haha…… Y:Let me have a try!321(X捂著肚子，蹲下)M: oh,what happened?（看著X，做驚嚇狀）are you ok?（跑到西門吹雪身邊）Y :do you want to go to wc? X:Yes,I……I…… :haha, the milk was added 三聚氰胺 beyond : you , stupid , bad behavior!go away!K。why ? why do you help him!who actually are you ? M: actually,I’m a spy sended by LuXiaofeng,and I fell in love with :!you—you—You are X’lover? Y: do you know, you are the first person who cheated me!I hate you.(輕聲說)let me tell you,Ｘwill ：Ｘ,do’t die ,you should be alive ,there are much hope in the future and tomorrow is a good beginning!K:what a moving story!I was impressed!Y:life is a progress ,but it is depressed that it can not resume!M: life is a progress ,and it is delight that it needn’t resume!(M忽然將一把匕首插進Y的心臟，《再見，警察》起)Y痛苦狀:I never anticipate you treat me by this ,why?tell me why?(Y死，音樂停)（X咳，H撲到身邊，電影《我的父親母親》原聲音樂起）M: X , oh , no ,you can’t die ,we will go home :go home!? M:Tomorrow is another day!even you have the last second to live ,you should be alive ,not only for me , but for our : promise me,you’ll get on well,and you’ll never let I will never let go（X死）, M: be alive!yeah , be alive!be alive without ahendance!第二篇：英語搞笑話劇劇本二人用版本Scene1（At Salesman’s home）N: In a dark dirty house, there lived a small, dirty always makes unhealthy candies and sells them to the has a lot of money how does he make the candies? Oh, xu …… He is ing!S: Hello, do you know me? No? Oh, let me tell ’m the famous candy salesman at th