黃西美國記者年會(huì)上的脫口秀演講稿-閱讀頁
2025-06-14 01:14本頁面
【正文】 忍受PBS和QVC的鼓吹與煽動(dòng)時(shí)我就會(huì)看這個(gè)頻道（PBS的節(jié)目以主觀著稱，QVC則是購物頻道）。非常感謝！ America is number one!s true! cause we won the World Series every year!謝謝。這是真的，因?yàn)槲覀兠磕陼?huì)贏世界職業(yè)棒球大賽（只有美國、加拿大的球隊(duì)參加。After being a US citizen, and I immediately registered to vote for Obama and Biden. You are wele. That was their slogan.（他回頭看著拜登，對拜登說）不用謝。這是他們的口號。）and I started to think maybe I should run for president myself.Well, I have to take a step back and explain a little bit. Because I had always been a morose and pessimistic guy.I feel that life is a kind of like pee into the snow in a dark winter night. You probably made a difference, but it39。好吧，我多解釋一下。我覺得生活就像是在漆黑的冬夜里往雪地上撒尿。 Two negatives make a positive.這給了我很大的希望。雙重否定更加肯定。You may be saying, hi, what would be your campaign slogan? You see, I spent 10 years in the past decade. So, I understand that American people are suffering.So, my campaign slogan will be, Who cares? (Hu Cares)什么，你也是？好吧。所以，我的競選口號將會(huì)是“Hu Cares”（此處又是WhoHu的諧音，Hu Cares：“胡關(guān)心你”Who Cares：“誰在乎你”。If elected, I will make same sex marriage not only legal, but required! You see I39。這會(huì)幫助我贏得年輕人的選票。但我過去對婚姻是非?？謶值摹！?So, two people will have to do the work of one, just like the president and the vice president, or the Olson twins.所以必須讓兩個(gè)人做一個(gè)人能做的事，就好像總統(tǒng)與副總統(tǒng)，又或者是Olsen姐妹（她們是雙胞胎，一起演真人秀，一起設(shè)計(jì)服裝）。And despite heart diseases and cancer, most Americans die of natural causes. So if elected, I will find a cure for natural causes. But you won39。 because of preexisting conditions.所以如果我當(dāng)選，我會(huì)找出一種治愈自然死亡的療法。但是你們將不可能享受醫(yī)療保險(xiǎn)，因?yàn)橄惹皸l款。And I have a quick solution for global warming. I will switch from Fahrenheit to Celsius.s 40!我還有解決全球變暖的特效措施。這樣以前的100度就會(huì)瞬間變成40度。And I39。我也很擅長外交政策，因?yàn)槲襾碜灾袊?I39。 and text our enemies when they are driving. but you39。如果我當(dāng)選，我會(huì)選擇“發(fā)短信”。我會(huì)在敵人開車的時(shí)侯給他們發(fā)短信。OMG和LOL都是短信流行用語, OMG是Oh My God, LOL是Laugh Out Loud）。I just want to thank RadioTV Correspondents ** for have me here tonight, And this is the first time I wish my son knew what I was doing. Thank you so much and have a very good night. Thank ** guy9 /
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