【正文】 r country did so many newspapers devoted so large a proportion of their space to the public concern about the dropouts. 我來練練 ? 1： These poor children can enjoy enough food and various books just because of this fund (強調(diào) ). ? 優(yōu)化： It is just because of this fund that these poor children can enjoy enough food and various books. ? 2： Other factors such as opportunity, fluent spoken English, plays a more important role in finding a better job. ? 優(yōu)化 ： It is other factors such as opportunity, fluent spoken English, that plays a more important role in finding a better job. 我來練練 ? 3： There is rarely an opportunity for us to serve the munity in this way (倒裝 ). ? 優(yōu)化： Rarely is there an opportunity for us to serve the munity in this way. ? 4： By doing parttime jobs, students not only can earn tuition, but also can put knowledge in the textbooks into practice. ? 優(yōu)化 ： By doing parttime jobs, not only can students earn tuition, but also they can put knowledge in the textbooks into practice. 我來練練 ? 5： When one goes beyond his own field and reads widely, he can really make remarkable achievements in his study (倒裝 ). ? 優(yōu)化： Only when one goes beyond his own field and reads widely can he really make remarkable achievements in his study . 設計出亮點 學會運用亮點詞語 ? 一、用詞準確貼切 ? 1. 認真辨析同義詞 ? 例 1： So there arises the problem: what should we do to get rid of the wrong attitudes towards the workers? ? 優(yōu)化 ： So there arises the question: what should we do to get rid of the wrong attitudes towards the workers? ? 分析： problem一般指實際存在的問題或需要解決的現(xiàn)實問題， question則一般指可獲得解釋或回答的問題。 ? 2. 恰當使用限定詞 ? 寫作時需要考生恰當使用限定詞，以避免觀點的絕對化，從而提高說服力和可信度。 ? 例 1： Typically, people prefer to say “yes” when they should say “no”. (typically指“向來，總是”，表明后面的敘述是一般性或經(jīng)常性的，這樣使得論述更加客觀，提高了可信度。我們可以說 “ The street is crowded.”，但不能說 “ The traffic is crowded.”。 ? 例 1： To be a three good student is always a symbol of achievement for the students. ? 優(yōu)化 ： To be an allround student is always a symbol of achievement for the students. ? 二、用詞形象生動 ? 1. 選用具體明確的詞 ? 例 1： No one saw the bank being broken into. ? 優(yōu)化 ： No one witnessed the bank being broken into. ? 分析： see表示“看，看見”，意思比較抽象，范圍較大；而 witness則強調(diào)“親眼目睹”，描述的動作更為具體，更符合“目睹銀行被搶劫”這一具體的語境。 ? 2. 利用不同的詞類 ? 英語和漢語在詞性的運用上有很大區(qū)別，但很多考生往往受漢語思維的影響，經(jīng)常完全依據(jù)漢語的詞性對譯英文，導致作文中出現(xiàn)多個謂語動詞集結的錯誤或造出來的句子十分生硬死板。 ? 例 1： These novels are written in plain language so that everyone can read when they want to entertain or relax themselves. ? 優(yōu)化 ： These novels are written in plain language so that everyone can read for entertainment or relaxation. ? 分析：第二句中用抽象名詞 entertainment和 relaxation代替了第一句中的動詞 entertain和 relax，將時間狀語從句簡化成了介詞短語，使句子的表達更加簡潔地道。 ? 例 1： There are various answers among different groups of people. ? 優(yōu)化 ： Answers vary among different groups of people. ? 分析：第一句使用的 there be句型屬典型的靜態(tài)表達；第二句則使用了動態(tài)動詞 vary，明顯比第一句多了一分生氣?？忌趯懽髦幸M量避免這種情況，在用詞上做到言簡意賅。 ? 例 1： With the publication of the novel, he became famous as the greatest writer living then, and he has been more and more famous as a major American author ever since. He is now also being more and more famous with Chinese readers. ? 優(yōu)化 ： With the publication of the novel, he became famous as the greatest writer living then, and his reputation as a major American author has been on the increase ever since. He is now also being more and more popular with Chinese readers. ? 2. 避免口語化 ? 例 1： If you don’t study hard, you will eat it on the test. ? 優(yōu)化 ： If you don’t study hard, you will fail on the test. ? 分析： eat it是俚語，表示“忍受”，此處是表示“在考試中接受失敗的結果”，在口語中這樣表達沒有問題，但在書面作文中，用eat it則不恰當，故應換成 fail。為了能夠使文章主題明確、線索明了、渾然一體，句與句之間需要一定的連接手段，最常見的就是使用過渡性詞語。 我來練練 ? 2： The first appearance will determine the applicant’s fate. (用限定詞語 more often than not改寫 ) ? 優(yōu)化： The first appearance more often than not will determine the applicant’s fate. ? 分析：加上限定詞語 more often than not(通常 )以后，表達更加嚴謹，更具有說服力。 我來練練 ? 4： Women have still no equal rights in the society. (用更具體的、更具動態(tài)的詞匯替換 ) ? 優(yōu)化： Women still couldn’t enjoy equal rights in the society. / Women are still denied equal rights in the society. ? 分析： enjoy(享有 )和 deny(拒絕給予 )比 have更加具體也更具動態(tài)，使表達更加生動。