【正文】
pan頻道是國(guó)會(huì)辯論轉(zhuǎn)播頻道)。謝謝。這是真的,因?yàn)槲覀兠磕陼?huì)贏世界職業(yè)棒球大賽(只有美國(guó)、加拿大的球隊(duì)參加。(他回頭看著拜登,對(duì)拜登說)不用謝。這是他們的口號(hào)。) So, after getting ObamaBiden elected, I felt this power trip. and I started to think maybe I should run for president myself. 所以,當(dāng)奧巴馬成為總統(tǒng)的時(shí)候,我感覺到了一股力量,我自己在想,我是不是也應(yīng)該去競(jìng)選總統(tǒng)! Well, I have to take a step back and explain a little bit. Because I had always been a morose and pessimistic guy. I feel that life is a kind of like pee into the snow in a dark winter night. You probably made a difference, but it’s really hard to tell. 好吧,我多解釋一下。我覺得生活就像是在漆黑的冬夜里往雪地上撒尿。 But now we have a president who is half black half white. That just gives me a lot of hope, because I am half not black half not white. Two negatives make a positive. 但是現(xiàn)在我們有了一位半黑半白的總統(tǒng)。因?yàn)槲乙话氩缓谝话胍膊话住?,Obama母親是白人,父親是黑人移民) You may be saying, hi, what would be your campaign slogan? You see, I spent 10 years in the past decade. Oh, you too? ok. So, I understand that American people are suffering. So, my campaign slogan will be, “Who cares?” (Hu Cares) 你或許會(huì)問:“嘿,那你的競(jìng)選口號(hào)是什么?”你看,過去的90年代里我度過了10年。所以我很理解美國(guó)人所經(jīng)歷的痛苦。) If elected, I will make same sex marriage not only legal, but required! 如果我當(dāng)選,我不但會(huì)讓同性戀結(jié)婚合法,還會(huì)讓它必須。你看我已經(jīng)結(jié)婚了。我想:“哇,50%的婚姻結(jié)局是大家要在一起一輩子。所以必須讓兩個(gè)人做一個(gè)人能做的事,就好像總統(tǒng)與副總統(tǒng),又或者是Olsen姐妹(她們是雙胞胎,一起演真人秀,一起設(shè)計(jì)服裝)。所以如果我當(dāng)選,我會(huì)找出一種治愈自然死亡的療法。但是你們將不可能享受醫(yī)療保險(xiǎn),因?yàn)橄惹皸l款。如果我當(dāng)選了,我就把華氏改成攝氏。 And I’m great with foreign policy because I am from China and I can see Russia from my backyard. 我也很擅長(zhǎng)外交政策,因?yàn)槲襾碜灾袊?guó)。 I believe that, you know, unilateralism is too expensive, and open dialog is too slow. So if elected, I will go with text messaging. I’ll text our allies just to say “hi”, and text our enemies when they are driving. “OMG you are building a nuclear weapon? but you’re doing it wrong, LOL!” 我認(rèn)為,單邊主義代價(jià)太高,公開對(duì)話又效率太低。我會(huì)發(fā)給我的盟友,僅僅打著招呼?!疤靺?聽說你在造核武器?但是你們的做法是不對(duì)的!哈哈哈哈。 I just want to thank RadioTV Correspondents ** for have me here tonight, And this is the first time I wish my son knew what I was doing. Thank you so much and have a very good night. Thank ** guy 此資料由網(wǎng)絡(luò)收集而來,如有侵權(quán)請(qǐng)告知上傳者立即刪除。