【正文】 不要被你所不知道的，從未做過的事所禁錮。
　　同理，在你21歲，25歲甚至29歲的時候，一次好的談話、好的休息、好的ted演講，能在未來的幾年甚至幾代人的時間里，帶來巨大的影響。”?，F(xiàn)在五年過去了，她是一名博物館特別活動策劃者。選擇你的家庭，是有意識地去選擇你想要的人和事，而不是為了結(jié)婚或者消磨時光，任意選擇一個正好選擇你的人?，F(xiàn)在你也許會想相比于20歲，25歲或30歲時組建家庭會更好。
　　最后一點也很重要，emma相信你無法選擇你的家庭，但是你可以選擇你的朋友。遠(yuǎn)的關(guān)系”。遠(yuǎn)的關(guān)系”。志同道合的朋友”。我不是輕視20多歲的自我探索，而是輕視那些隨便玩玩無所謂的探索，或者從某種意義上說那不是探索。
　　身份資本是指做增加自我價值的事。她需要一個更好的生活，我知道這是她的機(jī)會。在那種情況下，我花了好大力氣才忍住說”?！?。有一天，emma走進(jìn)來，她雙手抱頭于膝蓋，然后抽泣了幾乎一個小時。
　　正如她悲慘的20多歲，她早年的生活更加悲慘。她25歲的時候，走入我的辦公室，因為用她自己的話說，她有自我認(rèn)識危機(jī)。我當(dāng)時都干么了?我當(dāng)時都想啥了?”。這些事大多是不能同時完成的，正如研究表明，在30歲的時候，要想工作、生活一步到位，難度很高，壓力很大。”。或是這樣：”。
　　但是實際聽上去卻是：”?！?。你只是奪走了那個人的緊迫感和雄心壯志，絕對沒有改變什么。伯恩斯坦說過：要想取得成就，你需要一個計劃和緊迫的時間。(kidadults)。記者就引用傻傻的外號稱呼20多歲的人，比如”。這個時期，日常的普通生活，都會對你的未來道路影響巨大。
　　我們知道在20多歲的時候，性格的改變多于生命中任何時期。
　　我們知道職業(yè)生涯的前XX年，對你將來的收入有重大影響。這些是事實。
　　現(xiàn)在在美國，20多歲的人有五千萬，也就是15%的人口，或者可以說所有人口，因為所有成年人都要經(jīng)歷他們的20多歲。正是那個時候我意識到，30歲不是一個新的20歲。但修復(fù)alex婚姻的最好時期，是她還沒擁有婚姻的時期。當(dāng)然她現(xiàn)在正在和別人交往，她現(xiàn)在和一個傻瓜男生睡覺，但看樣子她不會和他結(jié)婚的。工作還早，結(jié)婚還早，生孩子還早，甚至死亡也早著呢。30歲是一個新的20歲。我覺得我可以搞定。我的第一位顧客是名叫alex的女性，26歲。t do. youamp。t be defined by what you didnamp。s as simple as what i learned to say to alex. itamp。s what i love about working with twentysomethings. they are so easy to help. twentysomethings are like airplanes just leaving lax, bound for somewhere west. right after takeoff, a slight change in course is the difference between landing in alaska or fiji. likewise, at 21 or 25 or even 29, one good conversation, one good break, one good ted talk, can have an enormous effect across years and even generations to e.
　　so hereamp。
　　now emmaamp。now the emergency contact blanks donamp。s a special events planner for museums. sheamp。re living with or sleeping with when everyone on facebook starts walking down the aisle is not progress. the best time to work on your marriage is before you have one, and that means being as intentional with love as you are with work. picking your family is about consciously choosing who and what you want rather than just making it work or killing time with whoever happens to be choosing you.
　　so what happened to emma? well, we went through that address book, and she found an old roommateamp。s the science of how information spreads.
　　last but not least, emma believed that you canamp。s boss is how you get that unposted job. itamp。s procrastination. i told emma to explore work and make it count.
　　second, i told emma that the urban tribe is overrated. best friends are great for giving rides to the airport, but twentysomethings who huddle together with likeminded peers limit who they know, what they know, how they think, how they speak, and where they work. that new piece of capital, that new person to date almost always es from outside the inner circle. new things e from what are called our weak ties, our friends of friends of friends. so yes, half of twentysomethings are un or underemployed. but half arenamp。m not discounting twentysomething exploration here, but i am discounting exploration thatamp。t know the future of emmaamp。s defining decade went parading by.
　　so over the next weeks and months, i told emma three things that every twentysomething, male or female, deserves to hear.
　　first, i told emma to forget about having an identity crisis and get some identity capital. by get identity capital, i mean do something that adds value to who you are. do something thatamp。 but what emma needed wasnamp。
　　now in that moment, it took everyt