【正文】 this?Because the train partment having10day......有個(gè)人一天碰到上帝......上帝突然大發(fā)善心打算給那人一個(gè)愿望......上帝問......你有什么愿望嗎......那個(gè)人想了想......聽說貓都有9條命......那請(qǐng)您賜給我9條命吧......上帝說......你的愿望實(shí)現(xiàn)咯......一天，那個(gè)人閑來無聊......想說去死一死算了......反正有9條命嘛 就躺在鐵軌上......結(jié)果一輛火車開過去......那人還是死了......這是為什么呢？因?yàn)槟橇谢疖嚨能噹?0節(jié)......Music class the teacher played a Beethoven songXiao Ming asked her:“ do you understand music?”Xiaohua:“ yes”Xiao Ming:“ you know what teachers do in the shells?”Xiaohua:“ piano.”音樂課上 老師彈了一首貝多芬的曲子小明問小華：“你懂音樂嗎？”小華：“是的”小明：“那你知道老師在彈什麼嗎？”小華: “鋼琴?！盩raveler: Can I catch the three o39。clock train to Toronto?Ticket agent: That depends on how fast you can left fifteen minutes ：我還能趕上3點(diǎn)鐘那班到多倫多的火車嗎？售票員：那得看你跑得有多快?；疖?5分鐘前開出。第四篇：簡(jiǎn)單的英語笑話帶翻譯Blonde39。s Appendicitis金發(fā)美女的闌尾炎A blonde has sharp pains in her doctor examines her and says, “You have acute appendicitis.”The blonde says, “That39。s sweet, doc, but I came here to get medical help.”一個(gè)金發(fā)美女的腹部側(cè)面感到劇痛。醫(yī)生檢查之后告訴他：“你得了急性闌尾炎。（金發(fā)美女聽成acute 以為是a cute，一個(gè)可愛的闌尾炎）”金發(fā)美女說：“您真貼心，醫(yī)生，但是我是來求醫(yī)的。”Little Johnny...Finding Jesus 小強(qiáng)尼尋找耶穌A Sunday school teacher is concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus, so he asks his class, “Where is Jesus today?”Steven raises his hand and says, “He39。s in Heaven.”Mary answers, “He39。s in my heart.”Little Johnny waves his hand furiously and blurts out, “He39。s in our bathroom!”The surprised teacher asks Little Johnny how he knows this.“Well,” Little Johnny says, “every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door and yells 39。Jesus Christ, are you still in there?!39?！币幻魅諏W(xué)校的老師擔(dān)心他的學(xué)生們有可能對(duì)耶穌感到困惑，于是他問他的學(xué)生們：“耶穌今天在哪里？”斯蒂芬舉起他的手，說道：“他在天堂?！爆旣惢卮穑骸八谖倚睦铩！毙?qiáng)尼用力揮了揮手，脫口而出：“他在我們?cè)∈依?！”大吃一驚的老師問小強(qiáng)尼他怎么知道這個(gè)?！斑@個(gè)嘛，”小強(qiáng)尼說：“每天早上，我父親起床后，都會(huì)敲浴室的門喊著?基督耶穌，你還在里面?。?”Little Johnny...Know It All 小強(qiáng)尼什么都知道Little Johnny asks his mother her replies, “Gentlemen don39。t ask ladies that question.”Johnny then asks his mother how much she his mother replies, “Gentlemen don39。t ask ladies that question.”The boy then asks, “Why did Daddy leave you?”To this, the mother says, “You shouldn39。t ask that,” and sends him to his the way, Johnny trips over his mother39。s he picks it up, her driver39。s license falls runs back into the room.“I know all about you are 36 years old, weigh 127 pounds and Daddy left you because you got an 39。F39。 in sex!”小強(qiáng)尼問他母親的年齡是多少。她回答道：“紳士們是不會(huì)問女士們這個(gè)問題的?！庇谑菑?qiáng)尼問他母親她的體重是多少。他的母親再一次回答：“紳士們是不會(huì)問女士們這個(gè)問題的?！庇谑沁@孩紙問：“為什么爸爸離開了你？”對(duì)于這個(gè)問題，這位母親說：“你不應(yīng)該問這個(gè)問題?！比缓蟀阉突厮约旱姆块g。在走的時(shí)候，強(qiáng)尼被他母親的錢包絆倒。當(dāng)他把錢包撿起來的時(shí)候，她的駕照掉了出來。強(qiáng)尼跑回母親的房間說：“現(xiàn)在關(guān)于你的問題我都知道答案了。你36歲了，體重127磅，還有爸爸離開你的原因是因?yàn)槟阍趕ex上的考評(píng)是F！”（got an 39。F39。 in sex，孩紙啊，你想歪了，那是“性別：女”啊……）Little Johnny...Definite Definition 小強(qiáng)尼肯定的定義The preschool teacher says, “We39。re going to do vocabulary can use the word 39。definitely39。 in a sentence?”Mary raises her hand and exclaims, “Me me me!”The teacher says, “Go ahead, what39。s the sentence?Mary replies, ”The sky is definitely blue.“That39。s good, Mary,” says the teacher, “but the sky can also be gray or white.”Sam raises his hand and states, “Grass is definitely green.”The teacher says, “That39。s good, Sam, but grass can be brown, too.”Little Johnny raises his hand and asks, “Do farts have lumps in them?”The teacher says, “No Johnny, why do you ask that?”Little Johnny replies, “Well, I definitely sh*t my pants.”幼兒園老師說：“我們今天要做詞匯題了。誰能在句子里運(yùn)用“肯定”這個(gè)詞？”瑪麗舉了手大聲說：“我我我！”老師說：“你說吧，什么句子？”瑪麗回答：“天空肯定是藍(lán)藍(lán)的。”“回答得不錯(cuò)，瑪麗”老師點(diǎn)評(píng)道：“但天空也可能是灰色或者白色的?！鄙侥放e手說道：“草地肯定是綠色的。”老師說：“回答得不錯(cuò)，山姆，但是草地也可能是棕色的。”小強(qiáng)尼舉手問道：“屁會(huì)結(jié)成塊兒?jiǎn)?？”老師說：“不會(huì)的，強(qiáng)尼，你為什么問這個(gè)問題？”小強(qiáng)尼回答：“好吧，我“肯定”大便在褲襠里了?！苯?jīng)同意轉(zhuǎn)載自：第五篇：小學(xué)英語笑話帶翻譯The Brain Surgeon was about to perform a brain transplant.“You have your choice of two brains,” he told the patient, “For $1000 you can have the brain of a psychologist, or for $10,000 you can have the brain of a politician.”The patient was amazed at the huge difference in price.“Is the brain of a politician that much better?” he Brain Surgeon replied, “No, it’s not better, just unused.”腦移植一個(gè)外科醫(yī)生正要作一個(gè)腦移植手術(shù)?！澳憧梢詮膬蓚€(gè)腦子中選一個(gè)給你?！贬t(yī)生告訴病人，“一個(gè)心理學(xué)家的大腦1000美元，一個(gè)政治家的大腦10000美元。病人很驚訝二者之間這樣大的差別，“政治家的大腦好一些嗎？”他問。醫(yī)生說：“不是好一些，只是沒有用過?！?