【正文】 this?Because the train partment having10day......有個人一天碰到上帝......上帝突然大發(fā)善心打算給那人一個愿望......上帝問......你有什么愿望嗎......那個人想了想......聽說貓都有9條命......那請您賜給我9條命吧......上帝說......你的愿望實現(xiàn)咯......一天，那個人閑來無聊......想說去死一死算了......反正有9條命嘛 就躺在鐵軌上......結(jié)果一輛火車開過去......那人還是死了......這是為什么呢？因為那列火車的車廂有10節(jié)......Music class the teacher played a Beethoven songXiao Ming asked her:“ do you understand music?”Xiaohua:“ yes”Xiao Ming:“ you know what teachers do in the shells?”Xiaohua:“ piano.”音樂課上 老師彈了一首貝多芬的曲子小明問小華：“你懂音樂嗎？”小華：“是的”小明：“那你知道老師在彈什麼嗎？”小華: “鋼琴?！盩raveler: Can I catch the three o39。clock train to Toronto?Ticket agent: That depends on how fast you can left fifteen minutes ：我還能趕上3點鐘那班到多倫多的火車嗎？售票員：那得看你跑得有多快。火車15分鐘前開出。第四篇：簡單的英語笑話帶翻譯Blonde39。s Appendicitis金發(fā)美女的闌尾炎A blonde has sharp pains in her doctor examines her and says, “You have acute appendicitis.”The blonde says, “That39。s sweet, doc, but I came here to get medical help.”一個金發(fā)美女的腹部側(cè)面感到劇痛。醫(yī)生檢查之后告訴他：“你得了急性闌尾炎。（金發(fā)美女聽成acute 以為是a cute，一個可愛的闌尾炎）”金發(fā)美女說：“您真貼心，醫(yī)生，但是我是來求醫(yī)的?！盠ittle Johnny...Finding Jesus 小強尼尋找耶穌A Sunday school teacher is concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus, so he asks his class, “Where is Jesus today?”Steven raises his hand and says, “He39。s in Heaven.”Mary answers, “He39。s in my heart.”Little Johnny waves his hand furiously and blurts out, “He39。s in our bathroom!”The surprised teacher asks Little Johnny how he knows this.“Well,” Little Johnny says, “every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door and yells 39。Jesus Christ, are you still in there?!39?！币幻魅諏W(xué)校的老師擔(dān)心他的學(xué)生們有可能對耶穌感到困惑，于是他問他的學(xué)生們：“耶穌今天在哪里？”斯蒂芬舉起他的手，說道：“他在天堂。”瑪麗回答：“他在我心里?！毙娔嵊昧]了揮手，脫口而出：“他在我們浴室里！”大吃一驚的老師問小強尼他怎么知道這個?！斑@個嘛，”小強尼說：“每天早上，我父親起床后，都會敲浴室的門喊著?基督耶穌，你還在里面啊？?”Little Johnny...Know It All 小強尼什么都知道Little Johnny asks his mother her replies, “Gentlemen don39。t ask ladies that question.”Johnny then asks his mother how much she his mother replies, “Gentlemen don39。t ask ladies that question.”The boy then asks, “Why did Daddy leave you?”To this, the mother says, “You shouldn39。t ask that,” and sends him to his the way, Johnny trips over his mother39。s he picks it up, her driver39。s license falls runs back into the room.“I know all about you are 36 years old, weigh 127 pounds and Daddy left you because you got an 39。F39。 in sex!”小強尼問他母親的年齡是多少。她回答道：“紳士們是不會問女士們這個問題的?！庇谑菑娔釂査赣H她的體重是多少。他的母親再一次回答：“紳士們是不會問女士們這個問題的?！庇谑沁@孩紙問：“為什么爸爸離開了你？”對于這個問題，這位母親說：“你不應(yīng)該問這個問題。”然后把他送回他自己的房間。在走的時候，強尼被他母親的錢包絆倒。當(dāng)他把錢包撿起來的時候，她的駕照掉了出來。強尼跑回母親的房間說：“現(xiàn)在關(guān)于你的問題我都知道答案了。你36歲了，體重127磅，還有爸爸離開你的原因是因為你在sex上的考評是F！”（got an 39。F39。 in sex，孩紙啊，你想歪了，那是“性別：女”啊……）Little Johnny...Definite Definition 小強尼肯定的定義The preschool teacher says, “We39。re going to do vocabulary can use the word 39。definitely39。 in a sentence?”Mary raises her hand and exclaims, “Me me me!”The teacher says, “Go ahead, what39。s the sentence?Mary replies, ”The sky is definitely blue.“That39。s good, Mary,” says the teacher, “but the sky can also be gray or white.”Sam raises his hand and states, “Grass is definitely green.”The teacher says, “That39。s good, Sam, but grass can be brown, too.”Little Johnny raises his hand and asks, “Do farts have lumps in them?”The teacher says, “No Johnny, why do you ask that?”Little Johnny replies, “Well, I definitely sh*t my pants.”幼兒園老師說：“我們今天要做詞匯題了。誰能在句子里運用“肯定”這個詞？”瑪麗舉了手大聲說：“我我我！”老師說：“你說吧，什么句子？”瑪麗回答：“天空肯定是藍藍的?！薄盎卮鸬貌诲e，瑪麗”老師點評道：“但天空也可能是灰色或者白色的。”山姆舉手說道：“草地肯定是綠色的?！崩蠋熣f：“回答得不錯，山姆，但是草地也可能是棕色的。”小強尼舉手問道：“屁會結(jié)成塊兒嗎？”老師說：“不會的，強尼，你為什么問這個問題？”小強尼回答：“好吧，我“肯定”大便在褲襠里了。”經(jīng)同意轉(zhuǎn)載自：第五篇：小學(xué)英語笑話帶翻譯The Brain Surgeon was about to perform a brain transplant.“You have your choice of two brains,” he told the patient, “For $1000 you can have the brain of a psychologist, or for $10,000 you can have the brain of a politician.”The patient was amazed at the huge difference in price.“Is the brain of a politician that much better?” he Brain Surgeon replied, “No, it’s not better, just unused.”腦移植一個外科醫(yī)生正要作一個腦移植手術(shù)?！澳憧梢詮膬蓚€腦子中選一個給你。”醫(yī)生告訴病人，“一個心理學(xué)家的大腦1000美元，一個政治家的大腦10000美元。病人很驚訝二者之間這樣大的差別，“政治家的大腦好一些嗎？”他問。醫(yī)生說：“不是好一些，只是沒有用過。”