【正文】 the little brother replied, “No, but Grandma is!” 2個(gè)男孩與祖父母一起過(guò)夜，他們跪在床邊做睡前禱告。” 弟弟答道:“上帝是不聾，但是奶奶聾。t get parasites if they drink more alcohol.”酒的好處為了證明酒精對(duì)生物的危害，老師把一只蟲(chóng)子放入裝有酒精的杯子里，蟲(chóng)子很快就死了。”:Some students are being you remember the story about race between the hare and the tortoise?Now,Xiaoming,will you please tell us why the hare was defeated by the tortoise?Xiaoming:Because the hare fell :Absolutely right!What should we do so that the hare won39。小明，你說(shuō)說(shuō)看，兔子為什么輸給烏龜？小明：因?yàn)樗X(jué)了。于是，村長(zhǎng)派人去請(qǐng)偉大的獵手Jonesie來(lái)殺死這只野獸。最后，他要求村長(zhǎng)殺只羊然后把頭皮給他。半夜，村民被從草原傳來(lái)的聲嘶力竭的尖叫聲驚醒。沒(méi)有獅子出沒(méi)的蛛絲馬跡。“哪有獅子！”獵人怒吼道，“哪個(gè)傻瓜把公牛放出來(lái)了？”————————————————————————————————————————Weather PredictA film crew was on location deep in the day an old Indian went up to the director and said, “Tomorrow rain.” The next day it week later, the Indian went up to the director and said, “Tomorrow storm.” The next day there was a hailstorm.“This Indian is incredible,” said the told his secretary to hire the Indian to predict the , after several successful predictions, the old Indian didn39。m depending on will the weather be like?”The Indian shrugged his shoulders.“Don39。s dresses were on sale at the FarEast Department Store, a dignified middleaged man decided to get his wife a he soon found himself being battered byfrantic stood it as long as he could。t you act like a gentleman?”“Listen,” he said, “I have been acting like a gentleman for an now on, I am acting like a lady.”我要表現(xiàn)得象位女士一天，遠(yuǎn)東百貨公司的女裝大減價(jià)，一位高貴的中年男士想給太太買(mǎi)一件。他竭力忍耐著?！澳愀陕?？”有人尖聲叫道，“你難道不能表現(xiàn)得象位紳士嗎？”“聽(tīng)著，”他說(shuō)，“我已經(jīng)象紳士一樣表現(xiàn)了一個(gè)小時(shí)?！钡谌河⒄Z(yǔ)小笑話(huà) 帶翻譯One day a person meet god......God suddenly decide to give the man a wish......God asked......What wishes do you have......The man thinking......Heard that cats have9 lives......Would you please give me9 lives......God said......Your wish e true......One day, the boring...Want to say one death to die......There are9 life lying on the tracks......The results of a train in the past......The man was dead......Why is this?Because the train partment having10day......有個(gè)人一天碰到上帝......上帝突然大發(fā)善心打算給那人一個(gè)愿望......上帝問(wèn)......你有什么愿望嗎......那個(gè)人想了想......聽(tīng)說(shuō)貓都有9條命......那請(qǐng)您賜給我9條命吧......上帝說(shuō)......你的愿望實(shí)現(xiàn)咯......一天，那個(gè)人閑來(lái)無(wú)聊......想說(shuō)去死一死算了......反正有9條命嘛 就躺在鐵軌上......結(jié)果一輛火車(chē)開(kāi)過(guò)去......那人還是死了......這是為什么呢？因?yàn)槟橇谢疖?chē)的車(chē)廂有10節(jié)......Music class the teacher played a Beethoven songXiao Ming asked her:“ do you understand music?”Xiaohua:“ yes”Xiao Ming:“ you know what teachers do in the shells?”Xiaohua:“ piano.”音樂(lè)課上 老師彈了一首貝多芬的曲子小明問(wèn)小華：“你懂音樂(lè)嗎？”小華：“是的”小明：“那你知道老師在彈什麼嗎？”小華: “鋼琴。clock train to Toronto?Ticket agent: That depends on how fast you can left fifteen minutes ：我還能趕上3點(diǎn)鐘那班到多倫多的火車(chē)嗎？售票員：那得看你跑得有多快。第四篇：簡(jiǎn)單的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)帶翻譯Blonde39。s sweet, doc, but I came here to get medical help.”一個(gè)金發(fā)美女的腹部側(cè)面感到劇痛。（金發(fā)美女聽(tīng)成acute 以為是a cute，一個(gè)可愛(ài)的闌尾炎）”金發(fā)美女說(shuō)：“您真貼心，醫(yī)生，但是我是來(lái)求醫(yī)的。s in Heaven.”Mary answers, “He39。s in our bathroom!”The surprised teacher asks Little Johnny how he knows this.“Well,” Little Johnny says, “every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door and yells 39。”一名主日學(xué)校的老師擔(dān)心他的學(xué)生們有可能對(duì)耶穌感到困惑，于是他問(wèn)他的學(xué)生們：“耶穌今天在哪里？”斯蒂芬舉起他的手，說(shuō)道：“他在天堂?！毙?qiáng)尼用力揮了揮手，脫口而出：“他在我們?cè)∈依?！”大吃一驚的老師問(wèn)小強(qiáng)尼他怎么知道這個(gè)。t ask ladies that question.”Johnny then asks his mother how much she his mother replies, “Gentlemen don39。t ask that,” and sends him to his the way, Johnny trips over his mother39。s license falls runs back into the room.“I know all about you are 36 years old, weigh 127 pounds and Daddy left you because you got an 39。 in sex!”小強(qiáng)尼問(wèn)他母親的年齡是多少?！庇谑菑?qiáng)尼問(wèn)他母親她的體重是多少?！庇谑沁@孩紙問(wèn)：“為什么爸爸離開(kāi)了你？”對(duì)于這個(gè)問(wèn)題，這位母親說(shuō)：“你不應(yīng)該問(wèn)這個(gè)問(wèn)題。在走的時(shí)候，強(qiáng)尼被他母親的錢(qián)包絆倒。強(qiáng)尼跑回母親的房間說(shuō)：“現(xiàn)在關(guān)于你的問(wèn)題我都知道答案了。F39。re going to do vocabulary can use the word 39。 in a sentence?”Mary raises her hand and exclaims, “Me me me!”The teacher says, “Go ahead, what39。s good, Mary,” says the teacher, “but the sky can also be gray or white.”Sam raises his hand and states, “Grass is definitely green.”The teacher says, “That39。誰(shuí)能在句子里運(yùn)用“肯定”這個(gè)詞？”瑪麗舉了手大聲說(shuō)：“我我我！”老師說(shuō)：“你說(shuō)吧，什么句子？”瑪麗回答：“天空肯定是藍(lán)藍(lán)的。”山姆舉手說(shuō)道：“草地肯定是綠色的。”小強(qiáng)尼舉手問(wèn)道：“屁會(huì)結(jié)成塊兒?jiǎn)?？”老師說(shuō)：“不會(huì)的，強(qiáng)尼，你為什么問(wèn)這個(gè)問(wèn)題？”小強(qiáng)尼回答：“好吧，我“肯定”大便在褲襠里了。“你可以從兩個(gè)腦子中選一個(gè)給你。病人很驚訝二者之間這樣大的差別，“政治家的大腦好一些嗎？”他問(wèn)?！?