【正文】 one night,Mikes’wife is lying on a cushion and begins to deliver the baby in their dim local doctor is there in do you want me to do,doctor .hold the lantern, it es .the doctor delivers the child and holds it up cautiously for the proud father to see.Mike,you’re the proud father of a fine strapping be praised, i…before Mike kissed the boy on the cheek the Doctor interrupts,wait a minute. Hold the lantern, the doctor delivers the next child. You’ve a full set mow, beautiful baby daughter.After a short interval,the doctor said again, beyond your imagination,Mike,hold the the doctor delivers a third doctor holds up the delicate baby for Mike’s inspection.Doctor,asks Mike,it’s a you think it’s the light flame that’s attracting them.46,friendsSam and john were out cutting wood when john slipped down and cut his arm off by his retained calm. he took the precaution against bacterial infection,wrapped the arm in a plastic bag,and took the arm and John to a surgeon.You are in luck,said the am a genuine expert in reattaching limbs. Come back in four hours when I have pleted the operation.So Sam returned in four hours and the surgeon said,I did it faster than I is down at the club.Full of gratitude to the genius, Sam rushed down to the club and was amazed to see John playing darts.A few weeks later,Sam and John were cutting wood again when John accidentally cut off his conserved the leg in a plastic bag and took it and John back to the same surgeon.Legs are harder,said the surgeon,but I’ll see what I can do –e back in six hours.Sam returned in six hours and the surgeon said,I acplish earlyJohn’s playing football.A few weeks later,Sam and John were cutting wood again,when John accidentally cut off his own head and collapsed Sam put the head in a plastic bag and took it and John’s trunk to the surgeon,confident that the skillful surgeon would do the are really difficult to reattach, the surgeon muttered,but I’ll see what I can do – e back in 12 hours.Sam returned in 12 hours. How did it go , died,the sympathetic surgeon replied,he suffocated in the plastic bag. stranger at nightIn a frosty night,a couple were in bed sleeping when someone knocked at the husband rolled over and looked at the ’s half past ’m not getting out of bed at this time,he thinks,and rolls ,a louder knock he dragged himself out of bed, went downstairs,opened the door,and there’s a man standing didn’t take the homeowner long to realize the man was drunk.Hi there,slurred the stranger,can you give me a ’s half past three and I was in bed,said the man as he slammed the went back up to bed and told his wife what happened and she said,that wasn’t very nice of that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the babysitter and you had to knock on that man’s house to get us started would have happened if he’d told us to go away.But the guy was drunk,contradicted the husband.It doesn’t matter,said the wife, he needs our help and it would be the Christian thing to help the busband got out of bed again,got dressed,and went opened the door ,and not being able to see the stranger anywhere.He shouted,hey,do you still want a push.And he heard a voice cry out,yeah,please.So ,still being unable to see the stranger ,he shouted,where are drunk replied,over here,on the swing. signalmanTom is applying for a vacant position as a signalman for the local railroad,and is told to meet the inspector at the signal box.The inspector resolves to give Tom an essential quiz, asking,what would you do if you came across the emergency that two trains were heading towards each other on the same track.Tom says with his strong southern accent, I would switch one train to another track.What if the lever the inspector.I’d run down to the tracks and use the manual lever,answers Tom.What if that had been damaged by lightning .challenges the inspector.Then,Tom continues, I’d run back up here and dial the next signal box.What if the phone was busy.In that case,Tom debates,I’d run to the avenue and use the public phone near the station.What if that had been destroyed.Oh,well,says Tom,in that case I’d run into town and get my Uncle Leo who migrated here from the adjacent province recently.This puzzles the inspector,so he asks,why would you do that.Because he’s never seen a crack train collision.49. scuba diving After resigning from his very profitable job in a multimedia pany,David decided to learn to scuba dive. the amateur spent thousands of dollars for lessons,then spent thousands mor for the finest elastic suit,tanks,mask,and other related a boat and navigating to the tropical ocean,he felt a surge of pride as he plunged into the water,which fulfilled his ambition.Photographing the coral and the fish,and using a waterproof pen and pad to make notes, he was surprised to find an another diver several dozen feet beneath him with no auxiliary equipment at all.Outraged, David swimming over and tapped the man on the ribs and wrote on his pad,I spend an huge amount of money on scuba diving and here you are in bathing suit. what gives.The man took the pad and pen and wrote,you ’m drowning. prevailsA man customarily bought things immediately after reading the ads about the products in the paper. naturally, his wife was not too happy about it .one day the man read an ad about a sale on steelbelted jumped up,representing that he would quickly buy four tires while the sale was wife plained,I don’t know what’s wrong with are going to buy four surplus tires when you’ve got a crappy old car.Her words offended the man .he replied with a slight anger,hold your jaw. i don’t plain when you buy perfume, do i.