黃西美國記者年會上的脫口秀演講稿-資料下載頁
2025-05-30 01:14本頁面
【正文】 ”。）If elected, I will make same sex marriage not only legal, but required!如果我當(dāng)選，我不但會讓同性戀結(jié)婚合法，還會讓它必須。That will give me the youth vote. You see I39。m married now, but I used to be really scared about marriage. I was like, Wow! 50% of all marriages end up lasting forever!這會幫助我贏得年輕人的選票。你看我已經(jīng)結(jié)婚了。但我過去對婚姻是非?？謶值?。我想：“哇，50％的婚姻結(jié)局是大家要在一起一輩子?！盇nd I will eliminate unemployment in this country by reducing the productivity of the American workforce. So, two people will have to do the work of one, just like the president and the vice president, or the Olson twins.我也會通過降低美國工人的生產(chǎn)率來消滅這個國家的失業(yè)。所以必須讓兩個人做一個人能做的事，就好像總統(tǒng)與副總統(tǒng)，又或者是Olsen姐妹（她們是雙胞胎，一起演真人秀，一起設(shè)計服裝）。And despite heart diseases and cancer, most Americans die of natural causes. So if elected, I will find a cure for natural causes. You seem to like that one. But you won39。t be covered by health insurance, you know. because of preexisting conditions.除去心臟病和癌癥的因素，大多數(shù)美國人是自然死亡的。所以如果我當(dāng)選，我會找出一種治愈自然死亡的療法。你們看上去很喜歡這個。但是你們將不可能享受醫(yī)療保險，因為先前條款。And I have a quick solution for global warming. I will switch from Fahrenheit to Celsius. It was 100 degrees, now it39。s 40! You are very wele!我還有解決全球變暖的特效措施。如果我當(dāng)選了，我就把華氏改成攝氏。這樣以前的100度就會瞬間變成40度。And I39。m great with foreign policy because I am from China and I can see Russia from my backyard.我也很擅長外交政策，因為我來自中國。我從我家后院就看得到俄羅斯！（這里也隱指Sarah Palin曾經(jīng)說的“我從我家門廊就看得到俄羅斯”）。I believe that, you know, unilateralism is too expensive, and open dialog is too slow. So if elected, I will go with text messaging. I39。ll text our allies just to say hi, and text our enemies when they are driving. OMG you are building a nuclear weapon? but you39。re doing it wrong, LOL!我認(rèn)為，單邊主義代價太高，公開對話又效率太低。如果我當(dāng)選，我會選擇“發(fā)短信”。我會發(fā)給我的盟友，僅僅打著招呼。我會在敵人開車的時侯給他們發(fā)短信?！疤靺龋÷犝f你在造核武器？但是你們的做法是不對的！哈哈哈哈。OMG和LOL都是短信流行用語, OMG是Oh My God, LOL是Laugh Out Loud）。I just want to thank RadioTV Correspondents ** for have me here tonight, And this is the first time I wish my son knew what I was doing. Thank you so much and have a very good night. Thank ** guy9 / 9
環(huán)評公示相關(guān)推薦
鄂ICP備17016276號-1