【文章內容簡介】 cklaces, bracelets, day a school teacher asked the store assistant, “Why are you selling gold in your bookstore?”Looking at the school badge on the teacher’s coat, he said, “As a teacher, you must know the old Chinese saying, ‘there is a house of gold in the books’.(Which means that one’s wealth es from the 在當今中國市場上，越來越多的經商者轉向贏利生意。甚至在一些書店的柜臺里也出售金戒指、金項鏈、金手鐲等金飾品。一位教師責問書店店員：“如今書店怎么也經營金品呢？”店員看了看這位教師身上佩帶的?；照f：“當教師的，你應該明白，中國有句老話，叫做‘書中自有黃金屋’么？” It Must be Fake Food At the food counters in a store, a customer was plaining to the shop assistant.“I don’t want this box of give me my money back.”“Sorry, know, food cannot be returned after it is sold,” the assistant explained.“But I can’t pay for this fake food,” the customer insisted.“How can you prove that this is fake food?” the assistant asked angrily.“Look at the label on the Date of Production: June 31, can you prove that there are thirtyone days in June?” the customer 在一家商品的食品柜臺，一位顧客正在向售貨員申訴。“我不想要這和點心了。請給我退款吧?！薄皩Σ黄穑称肥鄢龊笏〔煌嘶亍！薄暗铱刹荒芑ㄥX買件偽劣商品呀。”“你怎么證明它是偽劣商品呢？”售貨員生氣地問?！扒七@盒上的標簽。生產日期是2003年6月31日。6月份哪會有31天呢？”顧客反駁說。I Don’t Believe in God While doing my shopping I heard a quarrel at the nest went up and saw an old customer pointing at a slogan on the wall behind the young shop assistant and saying.“You’ll lose lot of customers if you don’t act according to your motto ‘Customers are our God’ ”“But I don’t believe in God,” the shop assistant 買東西時我聽到前面柜臺上有爭吵。我走過去看到一位年老的顧客指著年輕售貨員身后墻上掛著的標語說：“如果不按照‘顧客就是上帝’的宗旨做，你們就會失去很多的顧客。”“但我不信仰上帝，” 售貨員大聲反駁說。I Only Wanted to Attract Your Attention When the American President George Bush was helped to his seat after his collapse at the reception dinner party held by the Japanese Prime Minister, his first response was, “I only wanted to attract your attention.”只是想吸引你們的注意力在日本首相為美國總統(tǒng)喬治?布什來訪舉行的歡迎宴會上，布什不慎摔倒，當被人扶起后，他第一句話是：“我只是想吸引你們的注意力。” People’s Request of a President People from different countries may have different answers for the same an example: “Who are you going to elect as your president?” From the former Soviet Union: “I’ll elect the person who gives me bread.” From the United States: “I’ll elect the person who gives me a job.”From the former East Germany: “I’ll elect the person who gives me the same equality as people in West Germany.”From Cambodia: “I’ll elect the person who gives me a home.” From Yugoslavia: “I’ll elect the person who gives me a peace.”人們對總統(tǒng)的要求不同國家的人民對同一個問題所做出的反應是不同的，例如：“你將選誰當你的總統(tǒng)？”前蘇聯人民的回答：“我將選能給我面包的人?！泵绹嗣竦幕卮穑骸拔覍⑦x能為我提供工作的人。”前東德人民的回答：“我將選能使我們同西德人民平等的人。”柬埔寨人民的回答：“我將選能為我提供家園的人?！鼻澳纤估蛉嗣竦幕卮穑骸拔覍⑦x能給我和平的人?！盤rincess’s Humor When asked about people’s talks about her relationship with Prince Charles, Diana reacts to one of her good friends, even cracking jokes at her own response to toast, she giggles, “it seems too bad so many frees have had to die so that so many stories could be written about me.”英國王妃的幽默當人們議論查爾斯王子和妻子的關系時，戴安娜向她一位好朋友透露時甚至自嘲引樂。在一次舉杯時，她笑著說：“看來非得砍死不少樹來寫我的故事。” I’m Afraid to See the Doctor One day Oscar was suffering from a serious headache and made a plaint to his wife.“I’m so upset by my bad headache, dear.”“Why don’t you go to see the doctor?” his wife suggested.“I’m afraid to see the doctor.” He answered.“Why?” his wife wondered.“You know, last year I had serious stomachache, the doctor had part of my stomach week I had a bad toothache mad the dentist had my tooth knows, what will happen to my head this time?”我害怕看醫(yī)生一天，奧斯卡頭痛的厲害，對妻子說他感覺不舒服?！拔翌^痛，難受得很，親愛的。”“去看醫(yī)生吧，” 妻子建議說。“我害怕看醫(yī)生?！彼f。“為什么？”妻子表示不理解?！澳阒溃ツ晡叶亲油吹脜柡?，醫(yī)生就把我胃部分切了。上周我牙痛，醫(yī)生又拔掉了我的牙。鬼知道這次醫(yī)生會把我的頭怎么樣?！钡谌赫n前五分鐘原創(chuàng)]課前五分鐘美妙的前奏一首美妙的樂曲，總少不了優(yōu)美動人的前奏。課前五分鐘，充分開發(fā)利用，巧妙創(chuàng)意，有效訓練，就猶如奏響了課堂教學主題曲的前奏。它可以調節(jié)學生的心理環(huán)境，盡快地進入學習狀態(tài)；可以改變傳統(tǒng)教學的沉悶死板，給學生以新意，激發(fā)學生的學習熱情；可以增添課堂教學的趣味性、生動性，有利于學生更好地投入學習；可以增長知識、拓寬視野、陶冶情操、提高能力??發(fā)展學生各方面的素質。淺談我與學生是 如何奏響課前五分鐘的前奏的。[共同策劃]期初，利用班會課，與學生共同討論、商量：“課前五分鐘，與其寂寞的等待，不如利用開發(fā)？”學生自由組合，創(chuàng)意、設計、安排，各抒己見，最后我與學生根據學校本學期的主要工作以及學習內容，開出如下“菜單”：時代之音、星星點歌臺、開心詞典、唇槍舌劍、佳作放送、健康你我他、藝能展露等。每周有班干部與學生商量確定具體內容，人人參與，輪流主持；每周末總結評比，不斷改進。[精彩演繹]一位科學家說：在游泳中學會游泳。不錯，我與學生開始演繹我們的“課前五分鐘”。嘗試、實踐、改進，堅持不懈，雖然有失敗，有眼淚，有疲勞，有辛酸??但大家都覺得其間更多的是歡樂、成功、自信、幸福??課前五分鐘的訓練方式主要有以下幾種：積累式這種訓練可以常規(guī)使用，沒有特殊情況，學生約定俗成，根據學習內容興趣愛好等，由學生自由決定，只要有利于學生的積累均可。如名人名言、成語故事、諺語、歇后語、古今中外優(yōu)秀詩文??主持形式與主持風格，也有學生自由選擇決定，如有的學生學中央臺的黃小丫，搬張高椅子一坐，微笑著面對大家：“各位同學，‘開心詞典’又與大家見面了，今天我們做個有趣的游戲：成語接龍。我說第一個，接下來有你們接上。‘再接再厲’‘厲——’??”學生踴躍回答；有的學李勇主持的“幸運52”，知識竟猜，勁頭十足；有的學湖南臺的李湘、何，兩人上臺，你唱我和，幽默風趣??學生為了這課前五分鐘，可作了不少準備，看課外書，看電視，背誦、積累、模仿、演練??積少成多，聚沙成塔，長期以往，我班學生在小學畢業(yè)時，每個學生背誦詩篇均超過了250首，在市了檢測時還拿了個第一名！更重要的是豐富了學生的詞匯量、語言、片段，鍛煉了學生的能力，培養(yǎng)了學生的語感，陶冶了學生的文學修養(yǎng)，也奠基了學生的寫作基礎。放松式這種訓練一般用于上公開課前。因為聽課老師頗多，學生不免緊張。學生主持的形式一般輕松活潑，安排的內容也是豐富多彩，如“星星點歌臺”，讓愛好歌唱的學生一展歌喉；“時代之音”，讓關心時事者播報新聞；“健康你我他”，讓小醫(yī)生介紹健康小常識??最好內容與上課內容有聯系，效果會更好。如我們學習《養(yǎng)成良好的衛(wèi)生習慣》這一課，學生結合當時我國“抗非”之戰(zhàn)，有的介紹抗非小知識，有的敘述抗非英雄的事