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向領(lǐng)導(dǎo)交待???趕緊從咸陽機(jī)場調(diào)了架直升機(jī)到西電把我接來了乙:接你干嗎?甲:我到了奶牛廠之后,我就的叭的,的叭的,隨便這么說了一小段相聲,哎呀,感動(dòng)那些奶牛是哭啊~~~眼睛里流出來的全是牛奶啊~~~哇~~~~了不得了``````` 乙:怎么了?甲:牛奶流得太多了,開始防汛啦 乙:嗬,牛奶防汛?。考祝喝藗兌加门D滔丛枥瞺~~甲:我到了奶牛廠之后,我就的叭的,的叭的,隨便這么說了一小段相聲,哎呀,感動(dòng)那些奶牛是哭啊~~~眼睛里流出來的全是牛奶啊~~~哇~~~~了不得了```````乙:怎么了?甲:牛奶流得太多了,開始防汛啦乙:嗬,牛奶防汛?。考祝喝藗兌加门D滔丛枥瞺~~ 乙:告訴你,那我也比你作用大 甲:我還是比你強(qiáng)得多 乙:那你還是不如我 甲:你還是差得遠(yuǎn) 乙:我的相聲能治病 甲:我的相聲能醫(yī)療 乙:我的相聲治傷風(fēng) 甲:我的相聲治感冒 乙:我的相聲治頭疼 甲:我的相聲治 乙:治什么?甲:治腳氣乙:我的相聲能治大病 甲:治什么大病???乙:去年我們鄰居有一位七十多歲老太太癱瘓了八十多年了 甲:八~~~八十多年?這也太懸了吧乙:中西醫(yī)全請到了愣沒治好,又把我給請去了 甲:把你接去了乙:進(jìn)門之后我沖著老太太的叭的,的叭的,說了這么一小段相聲,老太太聽完了相聲一甩拐棍甲:怎么樣 乙:參加08年北京奧運(yùn)會(huì)了甲:哎呀,太能吹了,各位觀眾,我可得玩著命地吹吧,上個(gè)星期五我上西安古墓遺址去了一趟,到那里面說相聲去,剛說了三分鐘,出了問題了~~ 乙:怎么了?甲:連活的帶死的,蹦起來一塊回家了,走走走,老婆,咱回家吃飯去 乙:哎呀,各位,他把死的愣給吹活了啊 甲:就說咱這個(gè)相聲比救心丸的力量都大 乙:那我也比你強(qiáng) 甲:我還是比你強(qiáng)乙:你看見我這個(gè)人了嗎? 甲:你怎么樣?乙:我這個(gè)人是少年老成甲:你不行,我這個(gè)人是成熟得過早 乙:我11啊就上大學(xué)了甲:你差遠(yuǎn)了,我10歲那年就當(dāng)教授了 乙:我9歲就當(dāng)科學(xué)家了 甲:我8歲就制造核武器了 乙:我7歲我就結(jié)婚了甲:我6歲,我兒子就13了 乙:6歲兒子13??? 乙:你還是不如我甲:我還是比你強(qiáng)乙:看見了嗎?我的個(gè)子比你高 甲:我有點(diǎn)駝背,實(shí)際上我比你高 乙:我高 甲:我高乙:我兩米六九 甲:我三米七八 乙:我一天長一尺 甲:我一夜長一丈乙:我跟西安那鐘樓樓一樣高 甲:那西安大雁塔就到我腰這 乙:飛機(jī)從我腰這兒飛 甲:衛(wèi)星從我腳下過 乙:我高 甲:我高乙:我腦袋頂著天,兩腳踩著地 甲:哎呀,這不是到了頭了嗎? 乙:沒法再高了 甲:那還是我高 乙:怎么了?甲:我上嘴唇挨天,下嘴唇挨地 乙:你上嘴唇挨天,下嘴唇挨地? 甲:見過這么高的人嗎? 乙:那你那臉呢?甲:我們吹牛的人就都不要臉了 乙: 行了行了,錢歸你了 甲:哈哈上網(wǎng)去!第三篇:英文 二人相聲吹牛Bragging A: Our family’s hobby is bragging!B: Our family’s profession is bragging!A: Our family bragging do not pay : Our family bragging do not pay anything!A: It is true that I can go to the WC by myself when I was : Climb? You climb? A: Does anyone can climb when he was born? B:But how are you going? A: Taking the bed as WC!B: that is interesting!Unlucky bed!A:As to bragging, no one can match me!B: I do not believe, dare you PK me here? A: There? No problem!B:As to the meal, I can eat five bowls of noodles!A: I can eat eight kilogramms dumplings for a meal!B: Oh, I got a fever!A: Well, I have a fever, too!B: I covered with a quilt at night,but the next day,I found the quilt was burned with a big hole!A: I held a handful of corn when I slept, the next day, I found the corn turn into popcorn!B: I39。m higher than the trees!A: I am taller than the tower!B:I stand on the earth, and my head can touch the sky!A:one piece of my lips touch the sk