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l on elderlaw attorneys, financial planners, geriatric care managers and caregiver support groups. In February, AARP said it will offer its members a new caregiving support service through financial services firm Genworth. [E] Many families are unprepared for quick decisions, especially when they find out that Medicare doesn’ t pay for longterm care, Feinberg says. The median cost of a year in a private room at a nursing home in 2022 was $77,745, according to Genworth. And only those who have spent most of their assets can qualify for Medicaid to pay for the nursing home. [ F] Assisted living is another option. Residents can have their own apartment to maintain some independence. But the facilities generally provide personal care services, such as meals, housekeeping and assistance with activities. Still, it’ s not cheap: The national median cost in 2022 was $39,135, according to Genworth. Assisted living isn’ t covered by Medicaid. [G ] If they have a choice, at least 90% of elderly parents prefer to stay at home as long as they can, according to AARP research. But if the parents can no longer safely live at home, it can be hard for children to move them into an adult care facility. There may be another option. Sometimes the home can be modified so a parent can stay there. For example, Baldocchi put in a chair lift for her mother. She also arranged for a home caregiver. [H] Family caregivers take over many responsibilities. One might manage a parent’s finances, while another sibling will take the parent to doctors appointments and shopping. Those who move in with a parent take on a significant and sustained burden of care. Jan Walker moved into her mother’ s home in Leesburg, Fla. After her mother, who is 83, had fallen, she wasn’ t able to get around as well. Walker, 55, has three brothers. But she is the only daughter, is divorced and has no children. “I always knew that this was the role that I would have, and I guess my mind was prepared for it,” says Walker, who now is a fulltime caregiver and works from home as a tutorial instructor for a digital scrapbooking website. “When you get into the trenches, it’ s literally baptism by fire,” she says. “New things e up. It’ s not just about advance planning for finances or medical care. It’ s everything,” she says. [I ] Caregivers need to also watch their own health. “There is such a thing as caregiver burnout, ” Cona says. Among female caregivers 50 and older, 20% reported symptoms of depression, according to a 2022 study on working caregivers by MetLife. “It’ s a hard job,” Walker says. “But most worthwhile things are hard. She was always there for me when I needed a helping hand. It’ s only natural that I be here for her now.” 46. When elderly parents cannot live at home